Disowned homesexual cousin

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by fralo4truth, Nov 7, 2013.

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  1. fralo4truth

    fralo4truth Puritan Board Freshman

    Hi all,

    I’m wrestling with something I really need your advice on. My homosexual cousin just got married with his partner. His mother and siblings have officially disowned him.
    Is this the right course of action?

    I’m trying to weigh what I know from God’s Word. We know that exclusion is for the purpose of discipline in the hopes the sinner will see the error of his way. Yet at the same time, unless there is some sort of correspondence with them, how shall the gospel or the love of Christ be demonstrated to them in the hopes that they will convert? In this case however, the individual had a religious background, albeit it was Mormon. He used to travel as a missionary, and once in the past he tried to proselyte me into this order. I’m not so sure if he has totally renounced his profession, or if he is part of those today who feels that God is okay with his lifestyle.

    How to know when to “shake the dust” off and what all this entails? What level of communication and correspondence, if any, is to be maintained?

    Thanks for your thoughts.
  2. Romans922

    Romans922 Puritan Board Professor

    Jesus sat with sinners and ate with them. Discipline is for Christians. Your cousin isn't a Christian (mormon, now not mormon).

    Treat him like a tax-collector or Pharisee (i.e. continue to love him and proclaim the Gospel; do not approve in anyway his sinfulness).
  3. ProtestantBankie

    ProtestantBankie Puritan Board Freshman

  4. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    He is still your cousin. What familial duties does that entail?

    Do you relate and socialize with your other unrepentent family members?

    He is not a member of your church, right?
  5. fralo4truth

    fralo4truth Puritan Board Freshman

    No he is not a member of my church, and I rarely see him. I just heard through the grapevine his immediate family's response of complete banishment. That is extreme.
  6. arapahoepark

    arapahoepark Puritan Board Graduate

    If they are Mormons they do that for all who leave the faith, be they gay or not. I must qualify and say not all cut ties with their family, I know quite a few who still maintain ties as if nothing has happened when they left. However, I think it's really hardcore Mormons who disown and I think they are commanded to do it.
  7. THE W

    THE W Puritan Board Freshman

    What that man's family did is the wrong response to the situation. Though, in light of them being mormons, it is probably for the best that people from that cult are no longer soliciting him.

    you can still interact and be friendly with sinners, just as long as you do nothing that encourages their sin while taking advantage of any opportunity to share the gospel unto repentance. We would not be able to share the gospel if we just cut off all sinners.

    Thank the LORD for his mercy in not doing that to any of us!

    The thing with Jesus spending time with tax collectors and sinners in scripture was that those sinners weren't influencing Jesus but Jesus was influencing them. He was in complete control of the situation and all social interaction was on Jesus' terms, not the sinner's.

    As long as you're not encouraging or enabling someone's sin, social interaction is fine. If he insists that you except his sin in order to continue to be connected with him then that would probably be the time to "shake the dust".
  8. Jack K

    Jack K Puritan Board Professor

    The extreme sort of discipline you're talking about is only for church members. It doesn't apply to your relationship with this man.

    If you were to treat him differently than you would other unrepentant sinners in your family because he is gay, then you would confirm the accusation that Christians harbor discriminatory fear and hate for homosexuals. You have no reason to shun him, no matter what his immediate family thinks they should do. In fact, as a believer and pastor you probably have a deeper awareness of the lures of sexual sin and more experience struggling against it than does his immediate family, possibly putting you in a position to help him.

    It's actually possible that if anyone in this situation deserves any treatment that limits fellowship, it might more likely be the Mormon mother and siblings (who presumably claim Christ yet espouse false teaching).
  9. ZackF

    ZackF Puritan Board Graduate

    This man left the mormon "church" of which is a non-event as far as we are concern about discipline. Treat them categorically as unbelievers with an obvious besetting, defining sin but no more. You don't have to keep him at arms length to disapprove.

    Addendum: I just notice your sig more closely and that you are a pastor. Forgive me if I overstepped. I am sure you know this could be an opportune time to demonstrate the love of Christ among other Mormon relatives.
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2013
  10. mountaincathedrals

    mountaincathedrals Puritan Board Freshman

    With all that said, what about attending the "wedding" ceremony of a gay family member.
  11. Romans922

    Romans922 Puritan Board Professor

    Tom, no

  12. Alan D. Strange

    Alan D. Strange Puritan Board Junior

    One, quite simply, cannot "disown" any of one's own relatives and to attempt to do so is to reject the sovereignty of God.

    As they say, "you can choose your friends, but not your family." One's family, warts and all, is given by God. One cannot undo what He has done.

    Now this does not mean that you are ever to approve of, wink at, or connive in the sin(s) of family members. You wouldn't go to an orgy held by a family member. On the same grounds you don't go to a homosexual wedding, because it is a profaning of God's good gifts.

    You do show all the love and care that you can to your relative--how you act toward his companion is another matter, since he is not related and we don't recognize the marriage--because there is a God-given relationship with him that no action on his part can annul.

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