Discipling your kids in vocational matters?

[moselle]

The title of my post should probably read "how do we discourage our child from pursuing a career in music?" Dh and I are both musicians (although our income comes from the non-musical realm), and so naturally we're hoping our kids will pursue vocations elsewhere.

But, I do realize that God calls people to their vocations. Our 15yods has always been interested in music, and particularly in the last year has been writing and arranging instrumental music, learning to play different instruments, and even spending his free time teaching himself to play the music from our church services on the piano. He plays in a homeschool concert band and sings in the church choir. He is also quite shy and introverted, although he has been making a sincere effort in the past few months to avail himself to social opportunities through church and homeschool groups.

I guess what we need are some good resources that will help us help him learn what it means to pursue a Godly, covenantal, and meaningful vocation. Any ideas?

 

[Andres]

You probably won't find many resources, since most vocations can glorify God. Basically, any vocation that isn't sinful can glorify God. You children should choose a vocation based on their gifts, their interests, and then of course, will it pay the bills. Other than this I think people are free to work in all kinds of vocations to the glory of God.

 

[Pergamum]

Objectively speaking, is your child good and gifted?

If so, why discourage him? Not many people get to be employed doing something they love and there ARE opportunities to both glorify God and possibly earn a living in music, at least as a music teacher.

Maybe a better question is how, if this kid has gifts, can you make his gifts marketable.

 

[Jack K]

Let's see... your 15-year-old spends his free time learning to play church music. There are so many parents who would love to have that sort of "problem" with their 15-year-old.

I don't mean to disregard your question and your desires for your kid, but please remember it's often helpful at that age for us to let them pursue what they love (with guidance) rather than what fits our know-better plans for them. And in America today, it's very doable for a generally educated person to pick a vocation fairly late in the growing up process, or even to change it midway through. Plus he has his parents' responsible, wage-earning example he's certainly learning from. So it's a bit soon to be worried.

Why do you feel presure for your kid to be pursuing a certain kind of vocation at 15? Is it possible you're judging his interest in academics/vocations against what you see in other kids or families, or yourselves at that age? If so, this is unlikely to help him. I know that for myself, there's a constant temptation to look at other people's kids and see how proud they are of certain of their kids' achievements and start measuring myself and my kids by those standards. Not good.

I don't know if you're doing this. But since I do it, I thought it was worth bringing up.

 

[Hawk]

Seems In my humble opinion that there are meaningful, covenantal and desirable professions in music, of which I'm sure you're aware if you are a musician. We have an elder that teaches classical guitar (on the college level) and his wife is the church musician. They support their family quite well based on these careers plus side incomes generated from music. As a side, I have to admit my temptation to envy a craft or artistic vocation since I'm in business.

 

[Mindaboo]

I can relate to what you are talking about on some level. I have four musically inclined children that I am homeschooling. Each one has been blessed differently with their gifts. My 17 year old started at the age of 6. She wants to pursue a music education degree in college and I very much want her to do that, because I can see the Lord gifting her with that.

My 15 year old son plays classical guitar. He loves it, but I don't see him making it a career. But in all honesty he could if he chose to. My son's guitar teacher deliberately gears his lessons toward my son teaching guitar in the future. I am grateful. Even if he doesn't do it full time, he could very well provide by supplementing with teaching.

Like Jack said 15 is still a little young to know what you want to do long term. I think some kids know, but most I've met don't.

I have a ten year old who is gifted with the talent of playing the violin. She plays very well and I could easily see her moving into that for a career if she chooses to do so.

I have always told my children play for the glory of God, whether it's in your lesson, a concert/recital, an audition or church. Then let Him work out the details of what happens with the musical endeavors. I would rather have my children pursue a career based on their talents and enjoyment where they can glorify the Lord than work in a job where they would complain and not do that work well. For me money would be secondary. I stay at home with my kids, despite financial difficulty and know I am better off here than in a job I would despise. I think sometimes we get consumed with the aspects of finances and forget that just because we provide well doesn't mean we are glorifying the Lord. Money is a stumbling block for us all.

I also want to mention that this may be what the Lord uses to provide for a college education for your son. My daughter has not had much hope for college up until recently. The Arts Academy that she works for wants to help her into college. Her musical background is going to seal that deal for her. So, don't be too quick to worry. The Lord may very well use these gifts in unexpected ways. That is what is happening here.