Common sayings that you despise

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by SmokingFlax, Aug 12, 2005.

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  1. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    "God only helps those who help themselves"

    "God only/always works when ppl pray" (as though God is obligatory to that or that God doesn't work when they don't pray...abracadabra)

    (am I being overboard here?)
  2. SmokingFlax

    SmokingFlax Puritan Board Sophomore


    Your version of "Deficient Grace" is hilarious.....

    Brutal...but hilarious.

    Man! I'm seeing a bunch of the phrases that annoy me here...and sadly enough at least one that I've used myself in past years...about "legislating morality." Good riddance! (in no small part to Rushdoony).

    I even saw one that my Grandmother used to use a lot...and it bothered me. But how do you correct your Gram without coming out looking foolish in one way or another?
  3. SmokingFlax

    SmokingFlax Puritan Board Sophomore

    I don't know where it went...

    It seems to have a life of its own. Sometimes it shows up, sometimes it doesn't.
    I think it has something to do this ghetto computer that I have.
  4. Robin

    Robin Puritan Board Junior

    Because Christianity IS a religion - the only True Religion on earth. Plus, reducing it to a mere relationship really means that it's individual-personal-private meaning "I can make-up whatever rules I want" type of "relationship."

    Sure, it IS a personal relationship. But, I think people iuse that cliche' to avoid contact with mature engagement of doctrine. (Those who usually use the expression are anti-intellectual, demeaning Scripture.)

    Plus, it's what Federal Vision uses to defend their idea of covenant.



    PS. God relates to His creatures via covenant - which is a legal arrangement, first and foremost.
  5. BayouHuguenot

    BayouHuguenot Puritanboard Amanuensis

    I use "religion" because it sounds old timey :D
  6. Average Joey

    Average Joey Puritan Board Junior

    I cannot believe we have forgotton these.

    "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life"

    Extended ".....if you let him"
  7. SmokingFlax

    SmokingFlax Puritan Board Sophomore


    "Are you logged in? "

    Yup. I sure am -I wouldn't be able to post if I weren't.
  8. Ex Nihilo

    Ex Nihilo Puritan Board Senior

    I never understood what was so wrong with "religion," as long as it's the right one. But people get silly ideas about rejecting religion and just going for the relationship with Christ.
  9. ChristianasJourney

    ChristianasJourney Puritan Board Sophomore

    It's a guy thing.

    He didn't make Eve out of the head so she can rule...or out of the feet to be walked on...He made her out of the ribs to be equal with.

    And from homeschooling:

    When they're little they're little problems when they're big they're big problems.

    What about socialization?

    What if he wants to become a doctor?
  10. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    ((Gasp!)) you mean my son can't become a dr?
  11. Ex Nihilo

    Ex Nihilo Puritan Board Senior

    Hey, the version I saw of this once was rather nice. It added something like, "close to his heart to be loved, and under his arm to be protected."
  12. VirginiaHuguenot

    VirginiaHuguenot Puritanboard Librarian

    One of my favorite Matthew Henry sayings: "That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." - Commentary on Gen. 2.21-22
  13. JKLeoPCA

    JKLeoPCA Puritan Board Freshman

    Wow, just reading all these for the first time today,.... I don't think i've laughed this hard in a while.

    Loved the Def. Grace song Lyrics.

    OK Here are a few sayings that i'm sure you've heard and hate.

    "No Creed but Christ."

    "I don't believe in denominations, I'm just a Christian, and go to an Non-denominational church."

    "ALL means ALL in the Bible."

    "The only real translation of the Bible is the KJV all other versions are perversions."

    I HATE this argument.... "So if God knows who is going to heaven, why evangelize."

    "God is my Co-Pilot"

    I used to HATE being in Dispensational churches growing up listening to "Just as I am" being played about 20 times.

    Here's one you will know if you have Charismatic friends.... "I have a word from God for you" ..... I used to cringe,... now i just interrupt and say,... "Oh, so your giving me a Bible?"

    Gotta Love this one.
    "I only go by what the Bible says, and not what Calvin and Luther said, They were fallible men."

  14. Ex Nihilo

    Ex Nihilo Puritan Board Senior

    I just say, "So who is Christ?"
  15. Robin

    Robin Puritan Board Junior

    Great, Evie!

    Hey, here's another one..... "MY Jesus.... wouldn't do xyz"

    Gack :barfy:

  16. Ex Nihilo

    Ex Nihilo Puritan Board Senior

    Oh, yes, or "The God I know isn't like that." You gotta love it when people who make experiential claims try to pass themselves off as intellectuals.
  17. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet:

    Forbidden fruits make many jams.


    Also seen on a church billboard:

    "Let's talk after the game."



    [Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]
  18. WrittenFromUtopia

    WrittenFromUtopia Puritan Board Graduate

    "Be open minded."
  19. VirginiaHuguenot

    VirginiaHuguenot Puritanboard Librarian

    See this thread. :lol:
  20. blhowes

    blhowes Puritan Board Professor

    "All baptists are by definition dispensational" (or something like that)
  21. LawrenceU

    LawrenceU Puritan Board Doctor

    What drives me absolutely nuts is the growing practice of the improper use of reflexive pronouns. Now, it is so bad that you will hear it in scripted speeches written by 'professionals'.

    Another is the misuse of 'historical' and 'historic'.

    Add to those whenever a child addressing an adult does not use 'sir' or 'ma'am'. I know that is a Southern thing, but it is abhorent to my ears to hear a child say, 'Yeah' to an adult; or to call them by their first name.
  22. alwaysreforming

    alwaysreforming Puritan Board Sophomore

    Come on, Andrew, you know the rules:

    You should never ask people to raise their hands unless "every head is bowed, every eye is closed."

  23. Presbyrino

    Presbyrino Puritan Board Freshman

    "All roads lead to God"
    "It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you have faith"
    "Your truth is your truth, my truth is my truth"
    "Jesus is standing, knocking on the door of your heart, won't you let him in"
  24. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    You just had to rub it in, didn't you!

    [Edited on 8-13-2005 by poimen]
  25. BobVigneault

    BobVigneault Bawberator

    We had a thread a few months ago in which we came up with things you will never hear on the Puritan Board. A lot of those things are showing up here making that old thread increasing inaccurate for now we are hearing them again, AND torturing ourselves and one another with the phrases we despise. This must be a form of puritan masochism.

    But it's all good, we're gonna give the devil a black eye tonight! (Ugh! I hate that!) :banghead:
  26. BayouHuguenot

    BayouHuguenot Puritanboard Amanuensis

    "Get your praise on!"
  27. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    From a Christian rock band:

    "We're gonna rock the devil's socks off!"
  28. Puritanhead

    Puritanhead Puritan Board Professor

    "...your tithes and offerings..."
  29. blhowes

    blhowes Puritan Board Professor

    "that's just YOUR interpretation"
  30. BayouHuguenot

    BayouHuguenot Puritanboard Amanuensis

    I usually respond, "That's correct. And my interpretation is better than yours (ie, mine's right and your's is not)."
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