Christian approach to sex education.

[LadyFlynt]

I didn't even know about sex in the 1st and 3rd grades! That questionaire alone would have traumatized me. As it was, I experienced a traumatic exposure when coming back to the states in 4th grade and boys were pushing girls up against bell towers. The principal refused to do a thing about it. You would rarely see overseas what you see here in the US. (I had previously been in the Pacific amoung asians...they are pretty protective of their children)

 

[bond-servant]

I think I was around 3rd grade when my friend and I found out the very basics. I remember her reply as being something like :

"oh NO...my parents would NEVER do that!!"

Needless to say those questions would have been damaging to our innocence and 'childhood'.

Most children now don't have much of a "childhood" (innocent, playing,light-hearted) as it is.

 

[BJClark]

There are some really good books out there for teens to read from a Christian perspective that go over God's design for relationships. Two of which are:

Boundaries in Dating--Townsend and Cloud

Dating Intimacy and Teenage Years--Karl Duff

The second one is really good for parents to read as well, it has like 3 or 4 questions that you can discuss with your child at the end of each chapter.

It's for both Boys and Girls, even explains to girls their need for protection by the fathers and why fathers need to hold boys accountable for how they
treat their daughters while dating.

It covers the lies people believe about sex and relationships and why girls can't prove they love a boy by having sex with him (boys don't bond emotionally to girls by having sex with them; boys bond when they know the value of the girl, when they are willing to die (even to self) for their lady, and what it destroys for both of them if they do.

it covers God's design for men to be a shield; the protector, and the womans design as a breast; one who nurtures and comforts.

A shield is used in combat, protecting the family from lifes arrows,
The breast nurture from a mother to child and wife to husband.

It discusses how roles in relationships are reversed when sex is practiced outside the confines of marriage.

How it destroys the womans' ability to trust her husband
How it destroys a man's manhood, when his wife isn't secure and can't trust him to protect her.

"If a boy can't deny himself sex in order to protect you, He can't protect you"

If you have children I'd highly recommend this book!!

I gave a copy of it to our Youth Minister recently, he's going to see about using it as one of the studies for the teens.

 

[LawrenceU]

I'm late in this, but here is my stance:

Sexual education, in a Christian home, is soley the job of the parents. Period. Each child is different and situations in the home will affect timing. Shoot, I knew the basics from ever since I can remember. Raising livestock will do that.

Also, NEVER deviate from the Standard, read Bible. Doing otherwise always leads to license.

That's the thing, I believe that "safe sex" i.e fornicating and adultering oneself with a condom, can be considered a loophole. But I don't want my child if he slips up to catch Stds and be bogged down with a child from a pyschotic woman.

This sort of thinking is suspect. Slipping up is not purchasing prophilactics ahead of time for use later. That is planning.

 

[StudentoftheWord]

Originally posted by Average Joey

Originally posted by Slippery
What should it be in this day and age? Abstainence until marriage. Or Abstainance until marriage, but in case you slip up safe sex.

Give examples why not to have sex before marriage.Not just diseases and pregnancy.Stress it`s importance in marriage.Explain the regrets one will have for not staying pure before marriage.Explain how a person is more likely to commit adultery after marriage because of past experiences with other partners.

and !!!!

 

[StudentoftheWord]

Originally posted by Slippery

Originally posted by Average Joey



That`s funny about the "I wove you" thing.

Your turn is coming

My wife has custody, I get visitation.

I'd get a better lawyer and FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!! for my child, that he raised in a Godly home! Does she do drugs? I'd tell the judge that, if she does...

-Chuck

 

[BrianBowman]

The Biblical "picture" for entering the Covenant of Marriage as virgins is amazingly simple. Under normal cirustances, a "seal" is broken and blood comes forth. What a picture this is of Christ's redemption and exclusive fidelity toward his Bride. Only the Scriptures give us the correct training on sexual purity and its place in God's plan. I cannot agree more that not only Sex Education, but also the creation of an home environment where sexual purity continually is reinforced, should be the exclusive purview of the Christian home. In fact, it is my sincere conviction that parents who are deficient in this will be judged by God.

It is the parent's responsiblity (under normal circumstances) to provide the Scriptural foundation for life necessary to prepare their children to properly contract, avow, and consumate the Holy Covenant of Marriage. This a very serious matter!

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BrianBowman]

 

[bond-servant]

Originally posted by BrianBowman
.

It is the parent's responsiblity (under normal circumstances) to provide the Scriptural foundation for life necessary to prepare their children to properly contract, avow, and consumate the Holy Covenant of Marriage. This a very serious matter!

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BrianBowman]

 

[BJClark]

LawrenceU

Sexual education, in a Christian home, is soley the job of the parents. Period. Each child is different and situations in the home will affect timing. Shoot, I knew the basics from ever since I can remember. Raising livestock will do that.

I agree in part with this, I believe that YES it is the parents responsibility, I also believe it is the CHURCHES Responsibility to TEACH THE PARENTS and the Children Gods design for Sex in marriage.

I think Youth Leaders need to teach the boys they ARE accountable to the not only the girls father, but the Pastor, the Youth Leader and the congregation for how they treat the girls they date.

I think they need to teach the girls if a boy is treating you disrespectfully it is your right and obligation to tell your parents, youth leader and your Pastor so that *they* can hold the boy accountable. (matthew 18)

Unfortunately though most mothers and girls have a problem with this, because they don't want to see their sons or boyfriends suffer what they deem as painful consequences, because they are nurtures by nature.

Parents and church leaders need to teach Boundaries not just in dating but for relationships in general.

People in general need to learn it's *okay* to hurt someone's feelings if it's not done with malice. And that hurting their feelings is not going to make them suffer in agony, and that by hurting their feelings it serves two purposes: Brings about growth in their walk with Christ, and allows them to learn to work within the feelings God created them to feel instead of walking around acting as if they should never show emotion because feelings are somehow wrong.

Maybe Churches could use these books with both parents and teens have a class for fathers/sons and mothers/daughters so that they can all learn together what boundaries are and what they look like within relationships. And that it really is OKAY to say NO.

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BJClark]

 

[BrianBowman]

Originally posted by BJClark
LawrenceU

Sexual education, in a Christian home, is soley the job of the parents. Period. Each child is different and situations in the home will affect timing. Shoot, I knew the basics from ever since I can remember. Raising livestock will do that.

I agree in part with this, I believe that YES it is the parents responsibility, I also believe it is the CHURCHES Responsibility to TEACH THE PARENTS and the Children Gods design for Sex in marriage.

I think Youth Leaders need to teach the boys they ARE accountable to the not only the girls father, but the Pastor, the Youth Leader and the congregation for how they treat the girls they date.

I think they need to teach the girls if a boy is treating you disrespectfully it is your right and obligation to tell your parents, youth leader and your Pastor so that *they* can hold the boy accountable. (matthew 18)

Unfortunately though most mothers and girls have a problem with this, because they don't want to see their sons or boyfriends suffer what they deem as painful consequences, because they are nurtures by nature.

Parents and church leaders need to teach Boundaries not just in dating but for relationships in general.

People in general need to learn it's *okay* to hurt someone's feelings if it's not done with malice. And that hurting their feelings is not going to make them suffer in agony, and that by hurting their feelings it serves two purposes: Brings about growth in their walk with Christ, and allows them to learn to work within the feelings God created them to feel instead of walking around acting as if they should never show emotion because feelings are somehow wrong.

Maybe Churches could use these books with both parents and teens have a class for fathers/sons and mothers/daughters so that they can all learn together what boundaries are and what they look like within relationships. And that it really is OKAY to say NO.

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BJClark]

Yes ... this all very true. Some parents are ignorant or cavalier about these matters and how serious they are. How about doing away with the "dating model" within the Covenant community? Is it really necessary for teens to date? They are not yet quite ready for marriage (at least in most instances). Time alone for "dating couples" just increases pressure to give into a physical relationship - the least of such God considers fornication - which futher tempts young people to practice the thing that rhymes with exacerbate. Then all of this gets projected and magnifed into adulthood. Otherwise well-taught young people wind up in marriages where sex becomes a "battle ground" and we wonder why there is so much divorce - even in the Church? This is the reality of current age folks, as the lives of our young people go merrily along without truly understanding the terrible consequences of breaking God's covenantal order. The Law, Psalms, and Prophets are replete with warnings about this - as are the Gospels and Epistles. We must stop sacrificing our young people to today's "furnace of Molech" - the lustful, wordly cutlure that is destroying their foundation for sexual purity in marriage.

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BrianBowman]

 

[Bladestunner316]

to LawrenceU!!

 

[LawrenceU]

Originally posted by BJClark
LawrenceU

Sexual education, in a Christian home, is soley the job of the parents. Period. Each child is different and situations in the home will affect timing. Shoot, I knew the basics from ever since I can remember. Raising livestock will do that.

I agree in part with this, I believe that YES it is the parents responsibility, I also believe it is the CHURCHES Responsibility to TEACH THE PARENTS. . .

So far so good.

. . . and the Children Gods design for Sex in marriage. I think Youth Leaders need to teach the boys they ARE accountable to the not only the girls father, but the Pastor, the Youth Leader and the congregation for how they treat the girls they date.

Now, I have to disagree. Show me one 'youth leader' in Scripture. Duet. chapter six is aimed at fathers; not church staff experts. This is common malady in the church today. We have gutted the parents' role in discipling their own.

I think they need to teach the girls if a boy is treating you disrespectfully it is your right and obligation to tell your parents, youth leader and your Pastor so that *they* can hold the boy accountable. (matthew 18)

Unfortunately though most mothers and girls have a problem with this, because they don't want to see their sons or boyfriends suffer what they deem as painful consequences, because they are nurtures by nature.

Parents and church leaders need to teach Boundaries not just in dating but for relationships in general.

People in general need to learn it's *okay* to hurt someone's feelings if it's not done with malice. And that hurting their feelings is not going to make them suffer in agony, and that by hurting their feelings it serves two purposes: Brings about growth in their walk with Christ, and allows them to learn to work within the feelings God created them to feel instead of walking around acting as if they should never show emotion because feelings are somehow wrong.

Maybe Churches could use these books with both parents and teens have a class for fathers/sons and mothers/daughters so that they can all learn together what boundaries are and what they look like within relationships. And that it really is OKAY to say NO.

[Edited on 11-6-2005 by BJClark]

 

[BJClark]

Now, I have to disagree. Show me one 'youth leader' in Scripture. Duet. chapter six is aimed at fathers; not church staff experts. This is common malady in the church today. We have gutted the parents' role in discipling their own.

I can't speak for other churches but one of our Youth Leaders is also a Pastor, and I didn't say Parents shouldn't also be a part of teaching their children about sex.

But even beyond that, IF the Preacher or Youth Leader is teaching the Bible, God's design for Marriage and SEX IN Marriage SHOULD be part of that teaching.

As the Youth Leader (whether mentioned or not) they are still a member of congregation, and as a member of the congregation they still are to hold other members accountable in their walk, be it a youth or an adult.

So yeah, I think they need to teach them how accountablity works.

 

[Readhead]

I think someone should write a book for parents about all this from a Christian reformed perspective and email me - I'll pass you on to the right people.
I'm cutting this post short as there is a mouse under my desk and it's VERY noisy!
Readhead