Children's Play Dates (long rambler)

[hpedlar]

Hi, all. I am wondering how you all handle play dates. I have to confess that upon becoming a parent, I thought I would do them weekly. As of today (my oldest is 1 month shy of 5) I can count on MAYBE 20 fingers how many play dates she has had in her life. I don't like them! I dont' like how my daughter acts during them. I dont' like that it becomes more important to her to play with that friend than with her sister. If she is the only one invited to a specific house (I have someone in particular in mind), I usually let her go because it is her "best friend" who she only rarely gets to see because we are no longer attending the Bible study or church they are involved with. But when that friend comes to my house, I struggle with them wanting not to include my 2nd daughter, who is 2.5. I am realizing that I need to set the tone for who is more important in our house, family or friends. Have any of you struggled with this? Why do I feel so alone for trying (with Todd) to raise our children to make family the first priority as far as our human relationships go? Blessings to all over the weekend and may you all have sweet worship on Sunday!

 

[ReformedWretch]

When the girl comes to your house I would send both daughters in the room to play. The minute your older daughter acts poorly toward your younger one remove her from the room and tell her she is not allowed to play for a set time limit. When she returns, if she still does not treat her sister nicely remove her for the rest of the visit but allow the younger one to play with the other girl if the other girl is so inclined. If not, tell the visitor that the visit is over.

That's my

 

[ChristianasJourney]

If you don't like play dates, why are you going against the instinct that God gave you and having them?

Do godly actions or thoughts come of out a play dates? Particularly in a child of that age? If anything, play dates lead to selfishness, segregation, and materialism. Personally, in my observations playing together brings out the worst in children.

All that being said, when children play together they should be constantly monitored by an adult...this doesn't mean within hearing distance, but within seeing distance, in the same room as you, or working with you on a project. Your presence will keep the 2.5 year old from tearing down their fort, and will keep the five year old from ripping the doll away from her younger sibling. You can nip bad habits and bad attitudes in the bud, and you can monitor the undesirable traits that the kids are teaching each other.

However, I still say go with your instinct...If you don't like play dates don't have them.

 

[LadyFlynt]

Agreed, and sibling exclusion is not permitted. Occasionally, I will tell the girls to let the boys alone or the boys to let the girls alone. Whether a friend is over or not, kindness in all directions is the rule. We do permit our oldest daughter to be at her "best friend's house", but this is due the closeness of our two families.

 

[bond-servant]

There are many kids I don't let my boys play with because... well.. because they are wild. I'm really careful who they have play dates with - even more so now at 7 and 8 than when they were 4 and 5.

Ditto Colleen's response. I have a good friend, who I don't think twice about watching my kids while they play with hers.. but honestly, I think that's about it...and, like Colleen's friend, this family is in our will to raise our children if something should happen to both Steve and I at the same time...

 

[LadyFlynt]

exactly like...they are to raise our children if something happens to us and we are to raise theirs if something happens to them.

 

[bond-servant]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
exactly like...they are to raise our children if something happens to us and we are to raise theirs if something happens to them.

Wow. Cool!