Biblical Method of Pursuing a Spouse

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py3ak

They're stalling and plotting against me
Staff member
Why do you think the Scripture is silent on describing a method of how a spouse is to be pursued (from the time of meeting the person to marrying them)?
It isn't. Genesis 24 --> one example.
I suppose the contemporary parallel is to have your administrative assistant prayerfully wait for a girl from the target demographic offer to help him with a flat tire.
 

Mushroom

Puritan Board Doctor
As long as we don't use the biblical model of Judges 21, I think we have liberty in the matter to address the various circumstances of providence within the comfort of Christ's rule.
 

timmopussycat

Puritan Board Junior
Why do you think the Scripture is silent on describing a method of how a spouse is to be pursued (from the time of meeting the person to marrying them)? Meaning, how a relationship is to be developed. Is the Scripture silent because all people and times are different, and a variety of methods (betrothal, courtship, etc) are acceptable within the general principles of chastity in the Word? Just curious for your thoughts as I, a young father, consider these matters.
I don't think Scripture is entirely silent on the question. Given Prov. 30:18-19, ("There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yes, four which I know not: 19The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship in the middle of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.") I think Scripture is leaving the matter up to human discretion and biblically informed wisdom.
 

Edward

Puritanboard Commissioner
Why do you think the Scripture is silent on describing a method of how a spouse is to be pursued (from the time of meeting the person to marrying them)?
Every time I see this question, I think of Gen. 29: 1-30, which seem to describe one way of pursuing a spouse from the time of meeting to marriage (and another 7 years beyond).
 

Miss Marple

Puritan Board Junior
I like your perspective (Mr. Cunningham) and it seems to me if a man is a man and wants to marry, part of being a man is figuring out the best approach for himself and his potential future spouse. I find formulas to be somewhat infantilizing.
 

ZackF

Puritan Board Graduate
What a beautiful and good course of events. God bless for it turning out well. I can hope and pray my wife and I have the opportunity to have that kind of relationship with a potential son-in-law. However, for the Christian diaspora so to speak, such an arrangement is impossible. My father and late father-in-law were not believers. We had to cobble things together the best we could in principle and honor our parents. We had the prayers and guidance of friends in our respective churches. Many of our friends, family, bridesmaids and groomsmen were unbelievers. I was also in my mid 30s and she in her late 20s separated by 900 miles. We moved my fiance to town and she lived with an elderly widow from my church until the wedding. It would have been utterly impossible to crow bar our situation into a courtship model.
Every situation is certainly different. I think that a believing couple with unbelieving parents should be calling upon the Elders to help guide them. Taylor is here in VA, and Austin lives in Texas. This has not been an easy courtship for them.
My heart and prayers go out to them. It is not easy.
 
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