Babies a curse??

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I'm probably on the very early part of the parenting curve here--one 9-mo. old son. But that little guy has brought more joy into our home and hearts than we ever could have imagined. I used to panic if a dish made it overnight without being washed, and it took me a while to accept that I'd have to let that go :) He's our little bundle of entropy. But we definitely want more and cannot think of any reason why a child would be anything other than a blessing. It drives me nuts to hear people talk about how much they enjoy business trips because they get away from their spouses and kids. Get away to what, drinking after a conference and watching crummy TV in a hotel room?

To the people with 7+ kids...at what point do you start getting all their names confused?

Another interesting thing that's been observed before, is that the typical secularized lifestyles in western culture (even the "conservative" variety) goes hand-in-glove with small families, sometimes with no children at all. So if Reformed people keep cranking out the babies, we'll have the numbers in a few more generations :lol:
 
Your view is taken as criticism of theirs. Ignore them and go on.

I would have to agree - it seems as though your very existance as you are is often enough to raise the hackles of those around you who do not agree.

My husband and I have four children aged 5, 3, 2 and 9 months. I am having a very difficult time at the moment, because although I know that we cannot responsibly have anymore children, (we are 6 people in a rented 2.5 bedroom house!) now is the time that I am feeling keenly my lack of pregnancy.

We have received a great deal of criticism for the largeness of our family, and it is nice to hear the reassurance that even in our circumstances, to have four young children is alright!

We are 11 people in a rented 3 bedroom house. My wife and I sleep in the back porch and we turned part of the basement into a bedroom. It's cozy, but we don't feel like we're enduring any hardship (now that our container showed up from China and we aren't sleeping on the floor anymore!)

And our children keep lobbying for adopting more - we're not going there right now!

Something about the image that you project is just very beautiful, but unfortunately, it doesn't really relate to suburban Adelaide!

What kind of vehicle do you own? How do you give that many children enough attention? How do you get the homework done? Isn't there always an incredible amount of noise?

Our eldest, (the 5 -year-old,) is incredibly loud and boisterous. His poor younger brother is constantly harrassed, bossed, and ordered around. All day I am asking him to please do this, and please not do that- constantly-and usually being ignored! He comes home from school with new and unacceptable words, and brings with him all the "killing" games that they play all day, to inflict on his siblings.

A bit of peace would be nice! :)

You are amazing.
 
I just came across this thread. Children are never a curse. Never. Reading about your larger families makes me choke up. We have been blessed with a wonderful daughter, when the medical professionals said that it would be impossible for us to carry a child to term. She is now thirteen and becoming a splendidly wonderful young lady. My wife and I would love to have a house full of children. But, that has not been God's desire, so far. We have tried adoption, fostering, all sorts of avenues, but every time the door closes.

Those of you with a house full of children, enjoy it. Set an example for the world to see.
 
What if you were unemployed and looking for work when you found out? Does it change anything?

NO.

Nor if you find that the acquisition of children will exhaust your bank account. Nor if everyone and their dog tells you that you're crazy. Nor if it seems like the Lord has really bad timing because your wife fell pregnant in (insert horrible situation here). Never.

When we talk to people about having a large family and encouraging them to do so, even when Scripture is brought into play, there's usually a "yes, but..." coming from their side. We have 9. We're not wealthy, but we're all well fed and well clothed. We are blessed.

Ben, don't crack. You'll hear about 'dangers' of large families, children who will 'get a complex' because of XYZ, etc. etc. Large covenant families are wonderful. You know that and if that is the direction in which the Lord is leading you, then by all means, have a bunch. If the plumbing doesn't work but you still feel called to a large family, then adopt. It's great.

My husband and I have four children aged 5, 3, 2 and 9 months.
I am having a very difficult time at the moment, because although I know that we cannot responsibly have anymore children, (we are 6 people in a rented 2.5 bedroom house!) now is the time that I am feeling keenly my lack of pregnancy.

We have received a great deal of criticism for the largeness of our family, and it is nice to hear the reassurance that even in our circumstances, to have four young children is alright!

Hmmm... "Feeling keenly... lack of pregnancy." Never heard that more eloquently put. I'd hate to say for how long I felt that! :eek: You are so blessed with each one of your children!!!!

We only have one child. :( A year before I got pregnant with him, I was diagnosed with aplastic anemia and, well, there wasn't much hope. I was told, "You would have been better off with leukemia (a differential diagnosis for awhile) because at least we can treat that." I had a platelet count of 18K (nl = 140K-400K) when the pregnancy was discovered and was told I wouldn't carry it for more than a couple of weeks. Well, I carried for 41.6 weeks. :lol: My mom was furious at me and refused to buy any baby stuff before the birth because, she said, "You're probably both going to die." So also said the doctors, but we didn't. I had a platelet count of zero going into my C-section; all the platelets used for that were the result of "the generosity of strangers." :D

But the Lord is good and kind and merciful and LOVING. He delights in having the last word, and also in performing miracles. How did salvation come into this house? This "baby" of ours got saved at age 18 and slowly and lovingly witnessed Jesus Christ to both of us - and the Lord saved us a few years later. The pregnancy that was supposed to have killed me was a means by which the Lord let my husband and me hear the real Gospel. I praise Him every day for His mercy and love in choosing such a magnificent way in which to impart the Good News to such a wretched sinner as I.

Oh, how we would have liked to have had more children! But the doctors always said no; I had "one miracle; do you want two?" Uh, yes. :lol: And we couldn't adopt, either, because you can't have a "terminal" diagnosis hanging over your head and be approved to adopt.

We've looked into the "foster grandparent" program, but I don't meet the age minimum and we don't meet the, shall we say, income requirements. Also, we can't commit to 40 hours a week because I work about 10 at my "real job." We are sorely suffering from the lack of children in our lives.

I'm glad, though, to hear how the Lord has blessed so many of you! He is faithful to His people and provides them with children as a great blessing! It's so great to see these countless incidents of irrefutable evidence of His love and the fulfillment of His promises to His own!

May He bless all of you with grace in boundless measure, and daily, ever-increasing happiness in your families, however large they are!

:)

Margaret
 
Your view is taken as criticism of theirs. Ignore them and go on.

I would have to agree - it seems as though your very existance as you are is often enough to raise the hackles of those around you who do not agree.

My husband and I have four children aged 5, 3, 2 and 9 months. I am having a very difficult time at the moment, because although I know that we cannot responsibly have anymore children, (we are 6 people in a rented 2.5 bedroom house!) now is the time that I am feeling keenly my lack of pregnancy.

We have received a great deal of criticism for the largeness of our family, and it is nice to hear the reassurance that even in our circumstances, to have four young children is alright!

We are 11 people in a rented 3 bedroom house. My wife and I sleep in the back porch and we turned part of the basement into a bedroom. It's cozy, but we don't feel like we're enduring any hardship (now that our container showed up from China and we aren't sleeping on the floor anymore!)

And our children keep lobbying for adopting more - we're not going there right now!

Something about the image that you project is just very beautiful, but unfortunately, it doesn't really relate to suburban Adelaide!

What kind of vehicle do you own? How do you give that many children enough attention? How do you get the homework done? Isn't there always an incredible amount of noise?

Our eldest, (the 5 -year-old,) is incredibly loud and boisterous. His poor younger brother is constantly harrassed, bossed, and ordered around. All day I am asking him to please do this, and please not do that- constantly-and usually being ignored! He comes home from school with new and unacceptable words, and brings with him all the "killing" games that they play all day, to inflict on his siblings.

A bit of peace would be nice!

You are amazing.

HA HA! I would never venture to compare myself with an apostle, except to say that when Paul counted himself least among the Saints, I hadn't been born yet.

Remember, we all have our callings. Pergy goes striking off into the jungle and says that's everyday life - I would never have the stomach for it. Rich is a witness to the Marines (who live and breathe a religion all their own). Me? No way. There are numerous pastors here who gladly give of themselves 24/7 (while if I had a nickel for every time I was grudgingly obedient, I would be a wealthy man.)

Our children all get out of hand at times; spirited, surging horses require a tight rein, that's all - it makes them more productive and more effetively channels their energy. I think a lot of people do think we're too strict, but I expect my child to say "yes sir" or at least "yes dad" when I speak to him or her. It sets a standard and an expectation that helps keep the crowd in line.

One other thing we think helps is that we home school. There are no new words/habits/premarital practices that are brought home from school. We may send the children to highschool in some cases, but it's not in the cards right now.

Oh, and we drive a big Ford van that seats 12 - it's pretty much a necessity. One more child and we move into bus territory. :eek:

Life is louder, but it is more full too - in a good way. My wife, when confronted with the shock and disbelief of the general populace, usually launches into what a blessing the children are. Most unbelievers have never thought of them in that way, save for the few we meet who are unable to have them - they understand. But on the whole, it is believers who will tell us to please understand that we are blessed and to be sure to take things seriously.

For those who are interested in international adoption, please talk to me, I would be happy to direct you to those who can help get that going.
 
Also, Margaret, we are, according to Google, only 238 miles away from you. We've got lots of kids to lend, because grandparents are in short supply. We'll gladly adopt you!
 
Also, Margaret, we are, according to Google, only 238 miles away from you. We've got lots of kids to lend, because grandparents are in short supply. We'll gladly adopt you!

What? What? Are you in Chicago??? Or, what else is 238 miles from me? Erie, PA? Dayton, OH?

:D

Hey, I'd be happy to be adopted as a grandparent from 10,000 miles away! :) :) :) Adopt me away! How about as a "prayer grandparent?" We can do that from anywhere!!!! Thanks!!!

Love in Christ, to you and all,

Margaret
 
What? What? Are you in Chicago??? Or, what else is 238 miles from me? Erie, PA? Dayton, OH?

We're now in Hamilton, Ontario; across the border (I must update my signature, I know.) Thing is, we can't cross the border until we get my wife and the boys applications registered for Canadian Permanent Residency. So prayer will have to do for now!
 
Whats with all the criticism and whom are we seeking most to please in having our families?
We had what we called the 'big three' and the 'little three' because there was five years between. When my first one was 11 months old I brought home twins and five years later I had three more that were two years apart. It was a blessing and I felt no need to answer to the criticism of others, only to God and my husband! We were thrilled and though we went through some really challenging times and events I still would do the same!
 
Whats with all the criticism and whom are we seeking most to please in having our families?

I agree with you, that we do indeed need to live our lives to please and honor the Lord. But, in all honesty, those of us who don't have thick skin get hurt by these comments. I for one heard all about each pregnancy that I had, it was hard. My mom, my sisters, my in-laws all had something to say. My last two aren't quite 13 months apart, and I never thought I would hear the end of it from my mom. These family members are not Christian and they just didn't get it. I finally had to tell my mom that if she wanted to be a part of my life and her grandchildren's lives she needed to keep her opinion to herself. With my mother-in-law I took a different approach, they were overseas so I didn't bother to tell her until she was heading back to the US. I was seven months pregnant. I think she got the hint, that I just didn't care anymore what she thought about it. I never had a brother or sister in the Lord say anything. We were a small family in our church, most had between 5-9 kids. I was thankful for that support, but everywhere we went, the grocery store, book stores, you name it, people I had never met before would ask, " Do you know what causes that?". I even had two little old ladies speaking very loudly about me one day. I look very young. I still get carded for buying wine, so I understand on some level. I was struggling with two babies, and two young children, it was hard enough. I wouldn't trade any of my babies for anything, but negative comments wear you down emotionally.
 
To the people with 7+ kids...at what point do you start getting all their names confused?

As of now we only have 5 children, but, honestly, I began to confuse their names once we had our second. Early onset Alzheimer's I guess. :lol:
 
Is one of you a qualified teacher?
With the quality of public school teachers we have in this country, I'm thinking my dachsund may be as 'qualified'.


:rofl:

My mom homsechooled all four of us kids. The way she did it was through Accelerated Christian Education. It is designed to be self taught with a parent or teacher only there for help when one does not understand.
 
My mother and stepfather only had three children, the first two of us were spread out by 5.5yrs and my youngest half brother is 14.5yrs younger. I was the only girl. They STILL mixed up our names. My dad had 4 of us. My twin sisters, well, he just took to calling them "Fred". Didn't matter which one he was calling, they were both "Fred".

HSing: You are not required to be a certified teacher to home educate your children. Many without ANY degree do better than many "teachers" within the government schools. And we learn to manage with babies and toddlers.
 
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Those of you with a house full of children, enjoy it. Set an example for the world to see.
What is a house full?

I think a 12-bedroom mansion with a single child might still count as a house full. Kids are kind of like gasses, in that they seem to expand to fill whatever volume is available. You never know where the Cheerios will turn up!

I've heard people debate what constitutes a "full quiver." Personally, I think we should modernize the term and start referring to them as our "ammo clips."

Lock 'n load!

:p
 
For those who are interested in international adoption, please talk to me, I would be happy to direct you to those who can help get that going.

Is there any truly affordable (aka free or close to it) adoption of infants program that you know of? I'm married to one of those Dachshund-like public school teachers;)
 
For those who are interested in international adoption, please talk to me, I would be happy to direct you to those who can help get that going.

Is there any truly affordable (aka free or close to it) adoption of infants program that you know of? I'm married to one of those Dachshund-like public school teachers;)

When you adopt an infant from the state, there is no fee. And, on top of that, they give you a monthly stipend to raise the child. Special needs children receive a larger stipend.

Look into the "Right Relinquish" program in your state. That is where the mom and dad sign off their parental rights at the time of birth.
 
God says "All things work together for the good of those who him (God)"

Even if at the time a person doesn't rejoice, or circumstances overcome them, it the absolute right thing. It may be teaching patience and hurt a lot on the way- but God knows best.

I wouldn't be rebuking the unrejoicing mother and kicking her out the church for lack of joy though. Sometimes we need to ride the storms with people and invest in them. It is a lot easier to judge from the outside. Yes sometimes we are wrong, yet often don't see it ourselves!

Oh how wretched we are! That shows Grace for what it is right?
 
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