Analytic Philosophy essay generator (humor)

That might be funnier than the chart. I'll give you Crisp and McCall, but who else writes with clarity of conception and expression?
I know. The danger is someone will read McCall and think all analytics are like this. The truth, though, is if analytics would explain at least some of their mathematical symbols, their essays wouldn't be that difficult. Of course, they never do.

That said, aside from advocating Marxism or something, I have no idea what Continentals are saying.
Even though I like analytic philosophy for its clarity, the following is probably accurate. Taken from Andrew Bailey's page.
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I knew it. Since the chart moves from upper left to lower right, it's clear to me now. Zombie arguments, it always ends in zombies. God bless the second amendment, a zombie's worst nightmare (assuming of course that they exhibit the minimum requirements for logical analysis and aren't just mimicking behavior but how would we know that? Perhaps they operate with a non-traditional logic of some kind or I'm sure there's some X's, y's, and z's in there somewhere with a bunch of funny symbols, has anyone even hypothesized about zombie logic? Is it comparable to fuzzy logic? We need to get on this now ladies and gentlemen, it's really very simple .) Sorry Jacob, cheap swipe at the low hanging fruit .