34 Years TODAY! "Secrets" of a Lasting Marriage?

[DMcFadden]

Today marks my 34th wedding anniversary.
* Jeanette and I had our first date on April 23, 1971 (after which we were high school sweethearts) and were married on May 25, 1974 (on a 105 degree scorcher in Southern California).
* Since then, we have lived in 7 cities;
* Been blessed with 5 children, 3 daughters-in-law, 1 son-in-law, and 4 grandsons; all of them are Christians (except the babies, we are credo afterall);
* Served in 5 churches (me as associate pastor of 1 and pastor in 2; she in Christian ed and children's ministry in 2); led a very busy Christian retirement home ministry for the past decade (me);
* Completed 10 degrees and certificate programs (between the two of us, with remaining debts to prove it);
* Grieved the loss of two fathers and one mother and have one mom (mine) still alive at 88.
* Officiated at three of my kids weddings (my eldest son did the fourth one);
* Were privileged to educate three of our kids through college, seminary, business school and law school; watched one serve as a pastor, one on the mission field and now teaching in a Christian high school, and one as an attorney -- all walking with the Lord;
* Had one become a prodigal during college and break his parents' hearts (and probably contributed in part to my having three "at fault" automobile accidents in the month he dropped out of college) before his getting married and becoming a more consistent disciple.
* Still have one high school junior at home as a reminder that the childbearing/childrearing years CAN actually stretch to 31.5 years and counting!
* This summer Jeanette turns 54 (still as beautiful as ever) and I will be 55 (no comment).

God has been so very gracious to both of us. Jeanette is the only woman I have ever kissed romantically and my only love. We were blessed to find each other (she transformed me into a human being) and praise the Lord for his incredible providence and kindnesses to us.

On this day of our anniversary, I wanted to proclaim to the world (or at leeast the PB section of it), the blessing of a long marriage to a good and Godly wife.

Our marriage has "worked" because of our belief that marriage is a calling and a covenant, that we must endeavor to cherish and nourish the relationship through all the phases of life, and that we see our commitment to Christ as prior to our covenant with each other.

For some of you who have been married a long time, what are your secrets for a good marriage? Looking back, what made for marital longevity? For the benefit of our younger brothers and sis PBers, what do you think were the keys?

 

[Backwoods Presbyterian]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Galatians220]

Dear Dennis and Jeanette,

Congratulations, "newlyweds!!!!" (Gotcha beat, but only by a whole 55 weeks...)

The Lord has certainly blessed you both!!!!! You were on the right path from the start. We weren't... But the Lord has blessed us as well, in His timing.

Secrets of a long marriage?

One vows to love and honor one's spouse. We have to keep those vows. Sometimes we feel anything BUT loving towards our spouse, but we must still act in a loving manner towards him or her. Never forget that and always act on it.

Never make divorce a reasonable option. We've had some terrible times, I admit it -- but at the end of the day, we are ONE. Thus it will be until one of us dies.

Husbands: make her feel loved.

Wives: make him feel admired.

Never forget that this is the one individual on earth that God gave you ultimately to worship Him through by giving selflessly to. This surpasses even your duties to your children. I fulfill my duty to our son by treating his father well... (Even when/if you feel sometimes as though the whole shebang wasn't made in heaven but sometimes smells curiously of sulfur... )

After we were married about 28 years, I finally figured out that my husband needs to be the head of the household and I wasn't meant to usurp that role. Things went a lot more smoothly after that. However, his head is Christ - and that's Who's really the head of our household. May that be the case in every Christian marriage: Christ FIRST, and husband and wife in their God-given roles, serving Him and serving each other.

On the practical side, I've always tried (unless I was in a life-threatening situation, which has happened) to put him first. If a potato drops on the floor while I'm cooking, it goes on my plate, not his! Little things matter... Little things done unkindly can add up, and add up fast.

Basically, remember that the best design for marriage is Christ and His church... "Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church... for no man ever hated his own flesh..." "Wives, reverence your husband..." Remember that Sarah called Abraham "lord." (That still kinda sticks in my throat, but that's the general idea... )

Gotta get going to our service - but once again, congratulations to both of you! May you have at least 30 more!!!

Margaret

 

[Mushroom]

Congradulations to you and your lovely bride, Dennis.

 

[staythecourse]

Glad for you both and your family. God is good to you!

 

[etexas]

Congrats Dennis! She is pretty, what gives? Just busting your chops Brother! I am happy for you I hope Megan and are blessed with 34 years (with me being older than my wife she is scared I am going to keel over!) What an unpleasant thought!

 

[Ivan]

Congrats, Dennis, to you and your wife.

On September 29th of this year it will be 35 years for my wife and I. The secret? There is no secret, simply cling to Christ. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit can a Christian marriage survive and thrive.

There are THREE partners in a marriage...husband, wife and Christ.

And who's the "boss" of the marriage? Christ alone.