Wretched Man
Puritan Board Freshman
Is there a difference between reconciliation and forgiveness? Can you forgive someone without reconciling with them? Are we called to forgive someone even if they don’t apologize or ask for forgiveness?
I recently heard a teaching in which the speaker stated there was a difference between the two - the context being that of marriage in which a spouse demonstrates unrepentant destructive behavior. And I began to wonder if this is Biblically correct. [For the record, I think a wife would be within her rights to separate from her husband in the event of physical abuse or infidelity. But I wonder if she can really forgive her husband while doing so.]
In particular, I am currently recovering from destructive behavior brought on by a family member of mine (not my wife) who has finally, after months of refusing to admit any fault, offered a weak apology with hardly any acceptance of blame. I responded by telling her I forgive her, but need some time before I am willing to be around her again. Without going into specifics, I laid out various things I expected her to do (none of which I felt were overly excessive) in order to alleviate the concern I have with her inflicting more damage to me or my family; she has not acknowledged any of them and expects things to return to normal. I have subsequently received pressure by others to attend family get-togethers with her - however I don't feel comfortable doing so.
Am I improperly addressing this situation? Is it possible for me to have truly forgiven her while refusing to reconcile with her? I have gravitated to Titus 3:10, but worry I am taking that out of context, since it seems to deal specifically with those who cause division in the church. Can this be applied to general family relationships?
I also recall R.C. Sproul once stated (I think I recall him saying this - someone please correct me if I am misrepresenting him) we aren't required to forgive someone if they don't ask for forgiveness. I believe he was preaching on Matthew 18:21-22.
I recently heard a teaching in which the speaker stated there was a difference between the two - the context being that of marriage in which a spouse demonstrates unrepentant destructive behavior. And I began to wonder if this is Biblically correct. [For the record, I think a wife would be within her rights to separate from her husband in the event of physical abuse or infidelity. But I wonder if she can really forgive her husband while doing so.]
In particular, I am currently recovering from destructive behavior brought on by a family member of mine (not my wife) who has finally, after months of refusing to admit any fault, offered a weak apology with hardly any acceptance of blame. I responded by telling her I forgive her, but need some time before I am willing to be around her again. Without going into specifics, I laid out various things I expected her to do (none of which I felt were overly excessive) in order to alleviate the concern I have with her inflicting more damage to me or my family; she has not acknowledged any of them and expects things to return to normal. I have subsequently received pressure by others to attend family get-togethers with her - however I don't feel comfortable doing so.
Am I improperly addressing this situation? Is it possible for me to have truly forgiven her while refusing to reconcile with her? I have gravitated to Titus 3:10, but worry I am taking that out of context, since it seems to deal specifically with those who cause division in the church. Can this be applied to general family relationships?
I also recall R.C. Sproul once stated (I think I recall him saying this - someone please correct me if I am misrepresenting him) we aren't required to forgive someone if they don't ask for forgiveness. I believe he was preaching on Matthew 18:21-22.
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