AThornquist
Puritan Board Doctor
Hey all,
My sweetheart and I are scheduled to be wed on May 11, but I've become a little frustrated lately with the concept that the wedding is "all about the bride" and that my role is basically to facilitate what she wants, not to have much input myself. This isn't a complaint about Rebekah though, it is a complaint about some of the people counseling her regarding it. You see, my thoughts are marked by my upbringing which taught me that a wedding is a celebration wherein the Lord is the most honored and cherished treasure and we, the couple to be wed, make covenants of fidelity and love knowing that we are an image of the relationship of Christ and His bride, and we make these public vows in the presence of our family and friends so that we can share our blessed union with those dear to us. Thus, imprinted in my heart and mind is the thought, "THOSE things are most important, and decor and setting are secondary."
My frustration then is in the fact that several Christian people counseling Rebekah have told me and her that the wedding is about her and that my role is to meet her desires, rather than what I think is a more balanced approach of us working through details together and me trying to be as flexible as possible to suit her desires, though we have a small budget to work with and I can't guarantee that every jot and tittle can be conformed to. In response to me saying, "We have a small budget to work with but I'm trying to do my best to suit her desires," we were told that maybe we just need to put the wedding off for several months and save so that we have more money to get exactly what she wants. My response was basically this: .
Am I off base here? Obviously all of the details can't be explained on the inter-webs, but is the wedding really all about the bride? My best guess is that this is the result of wedding marketing over the decades, but I would really like to work through details together and plan our wedding as a team, knowing that even if all the small things aren't perfectly realized, our joy is in the big picture, the large details, of our Lord, our covenant, and our loved ones.
My sweetheart and I are scheduled to be wed on May 11, but I've become a little frustrated lately with the concept that the wedding is "all about the bride" and that my role is basically to facilitate what she wants, not to have much input myself. This isn't a complaint about Rebekah though, it is a complaint about some of the people counseling her regarding it. You see, my thoughts are marked by my upbringing which taught me that a wedding is a celebration wherein the Lord is the most honored and cherished treasure and we, the couple to be wed, make covenants of fidelity and love knowing that we are an image of the relationship of Christ and His bride, and we make these public vows in the presence of our family and friends so that we can share our blessed union with those dear to us. Thus, imprinted in my heart and mind is the thought, "THOSE things are most important, and decor and setting are secondary."
My frustration then is in the fact that several Christian people counseling Rebekah have told me and her that the wedding is about her and that my role is to meet her desires, rather than what I think is a more balanced approach of us working through details together and me trying to be as flexible as possible to suit her desires, though we have a small budget to work with and I can't guarantee that every jot and tittle can be conformed to. In response to me saying, "We have a small budget to work with but I'm trying to do my best to suit her desires," we were told that maybe we just need to put the wedding off for several months and save so that we have more money to get exactly what she wants. My response was basically this: .
Am I off base here? Obviously all of the details can't be explained on the inter-webs, but is the wedding really all about the bride? My best guess is that this is the result of wedding marketing over the decades, but I would really like to work through details together and plan our wedding as a team, knowing that even if all the small things aren't perfectly realized, our joy is in the big picture, the large details, of our Lord, our covenant, and our loved ones.