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Thread: If you're reading this, you've been LEFT BEHIND!

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  1. If you're reading this, you've been LEFT BEHIND!

    The RAPTURE has taken place!!! If you are reading this, the rapture has taken place and you've been LEFT BEHIND. Early this morning I placed a dead man's switch in my chair so that if my chair was suddenly EMPTY, it would trigger this message.

    If you are still here then go buy the Left Behind series and start reading it so you will know what to do. I thought that guy was full of horse apples up to his ears but I guess I was wrong. If anyone wants my iPhone and my lunch, just take it cuz I'M GONE!!!!
    When it comes to havoc, I WREAK!
    Bob Vigneault
    Seventy And Fourteen (blog)
    The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog)
    Spiritual Warfare (blog)
    Member, Grace Evangelical Free Church (Reforming!), Afton, WI
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    9 member(s) found this post helpful.

  2. Ooops. I had to run to the bathroom and I forgot to turn off my dead man's switch. Sorry for the false alarm. HEY! Who took my iPHONE? WHERE'S MY LUNCH???!!!
    When it comes to havoc, I WREAK!
    Bob Vigneault
    Seventy And Fourteen (blog)
    The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog)
    Spiritual Warfare (blog)
    Member, Grace Evangelical Free Church (Reforming!), Afton, WI
    Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?
    13 member(s) found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Thanks for the DVD's, too!
    Mark Edwards

    Ruling Elder
    First Presbyterian Church (EPC)
    Pascagoula, Mississippi

  4. MARK! BRING BACK MY JOYCE MEYER DVDs!!!!
    When it comes to havoc, I WREAK!
    Bob Vigneault
    Seventy And Fourteen (blog)
    The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog)
    Spiritual Warfare (blog)
    Member, Grace Evangelical Free Church (Reforming!), Afton, WI
    Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?
    4 member(s) found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    HEY! Who took my iPHONE? WHERE'S MY LUNCH???!!!
    I want your keyboard too, because I just spewed coffee all over mine!
    Kevin
    Independent Bible Church
    Uncasville, CT
    1689 LBCF
    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    There wasn't an adjustment to allow for the change from the Julian to the Papist Gregorian calendar. There is still time for everyone to mail me the contents of their bank accounts and deeds to their property (No Detroit real estate, please).
    Edward
    Deacon
    PCA
    Texas

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,496
    Blog Entries
    1
    Ahh, this made my day!
    Samuel
    Attending a small congregation belonging to the United Methodist Church
    Lahti, Finland

    "To doubt God's mercy because our faith is feeble, is rather to rely upon our faith than upon the Lord. It is not the excellency and great measure of faith that makes us righteous before God, but Christ whom faith does receive and apprehend: which a weak faith can do as well as the strongest." ~John Ball (Puritan)

  8. #8
    There's no such thing as a free lunch (unless you steal Bob's).
    Andrew Silva
    Ruling Elder, Dallas Reformed Presbyterian Church (RPCNA), Flower Mound,TX
    Dallas RPC Facebook page
    North DFW area

    My blog - Lose Your Life
    Follow me - Twitter

    He is your friend who pushes you nearer to God. - Abraham Kuyper
    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Kirk Cameron? Is that you?
    J. Dean, author
    EPC
    Flint, Michigan

    “If your preaching of the gospel of God's free grace in Jesus Christ does not provoke the charge from some of antinomianism, you're not preaching the gospel of the free grace of God in Jesus Christ.”
    ― D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
    2 member(s) found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by J. Dean View Post
    Kirk Cameron? Is that you?
    And the Oscar for Best Actor goes to.....Kirk Cameron for Left Behind! Just kidding Kirk, sit your silly butt down.
    Bill
    Pitching my tent and building my altar
    (SBC)

  11. #11
    I propose we rename the board now and require all users to subscribe to recommended reading:

    BOOKSALE.jpg
    Mark
    La$ Vega$, NV
    Candidate for Gospel Ministry
    Under care of Pacific Presbytery, PCA

  12. My eschatological position is post-Bawb.

    sent from my most excellent Motorola Atrix.
    Bill Brown
    Grace Baptist Church


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    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Herald View Post
    My eschatological position is post-Bawb.
    With all due respect dear brother, a pre-Bawb position clearly makes more sense.
    Andrew Silva
    Ruling Elder, Dallas Reformed Presbyterian Church (RPCNA), Flower Mound,TX
    Dallas RPC Facebook page
    North DFW area

    My blog - Lose Your Life
    Follow me - Twitter

    He is your friend who pushes you nearer to God. - Abraham Kuyper

  14. Quote Originally Posted by Andres View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Herald View Post
    My eschatological position is post-Bawb.
    With all due respect dear brother, a pre-Bawb position clearly makes more sense.
    I was thinking of going mid-Bawb but it would be too hard to explain.
    Bill Brown
    Grace Baptist Church


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    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Dibs on the cool shades!

    Just a check, but are we amils the only ones left?
    JWithnell
    Member Bethel OPC
    Virginia
    http://learningyesican.blogspot.com/
    http://bethelpres.com/

  16. I'll try and get a head count. Could all you amils STOP MOVING, PLEASE?!
    When it comes to havoc, I WREAK!
    Bob Vigneault
    Seventy And Fourteen (blog)
    The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog)
    Spiritual Warfare (blog)
    Member, Grace Evangelical Free Church (Reforming!), Afton, WI
    Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

  17. #17
    Hey guys, they have the internet in heaven... have fun down there...
    Daniel
    Grace Presbyterian Church (PCA)
    Chesapeake, Virginia

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,739
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    Hey guys, they have the internet in heaven... have fun down there...
    No passwords, open servers, I suppose
    Rich Koster
    Browns Mills NJ USA
    Member of Covenant Baptist, Lumberton NJ (1689ers)
    http://cbclumberton.wordpress.com/

    Thankful that I'm not saved by merit badges
    Romans 7:14-25

  19. Leah
    Crown and Covenant Reformed Presbyterian Church
    Texas
    “To be Christians under the law of grace does not mean to wander unbridled outside the law, but to be engrafted in Christ, by whose grace we are free from the curse of the law, and by whose Spirit we have the law engraved upon our hearts.” John Calvin
    My Tumblr and My Blog

  20. #20
    I had to abandon the a-Bawb position because all of this talk about a dead man switch is just too pessimistic. A post-Bawb position clearly embraces the golden-age switch, which imho is the only truly biblical position.
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron, Elizabeth Faith, and Ruth Joy
    My Blog: Gairney Bridge
    My Facebook/My Avatar

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  21. #21
    LOL!
    Thankfully, Doc, if you missed the rapture, you can use your time machine and still make it. Back to the Past...or go Back to the Future and find out when it occurs and then set your watch alarm....
    Jim
    An Elder, Harvest Reformed Church (RCUS),Minot, ND
    http://www.harvestreformedchurch.org/
    http://tbftgoggi.wordpress.com/
    http://www.sermonaudio.com/source_de...urceid=hrcrcus
    Upon a life I did not live; upon a death I did not die, Another's death, Another's life, I'd rest my soul eternally
    Omnia dicta fortiora,si dicta Latina
    Si vis pacem, para bellum
    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  22. #22
    Bawb, does this mean that you want all of your Glenn Beck Goldline International gold coins back too? Because, since I lifted yours I feel as if I have experienced my own private rapture!
    Dennis E. McFadden, Ex Mainline Baptist (in Remission)
    Atherton Baptist Homes, Alhambra, CA, President/CEO, Retired
    Emmanuel Lutheran Church (LCMS), Fort Wayne, IN

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  23. #23
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    701
    Blog Entries
    10
    I was brought up in a penticostal church ie. Church of God denomination and they stressed that the Church will be raptured before the tribulation, but I feel that if there is a "rapture" it will be post-trib why? because it is a honor to suffer for the sake of Christ.

    Why does the charismatic church believe in a pre-trib rapture?
    Jason M. Griffin Sr
    Emmanuel Bible Fellowship Church
    Sunbury, Pa


    Repentance follows. In other words, people must condemn themselves and then renounce and despise themselves so they can beseech God to refashion them in His image, which they have erased. That is our starting point, if we wish to repent properly, not as the papists, who have abused true repentance by turning it into fasting on a Wednesday and muttering or performing some affectation or other. We must begin at a higher level by yielding ourselves to God, acknowledging our total spiritual poverty and grieving over our faults. Likewise, what belongs to our human nature must be put to death so God can reign in us. That is what repentance is. [Calvin, Serm, Acts pp.6-7]

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