Funny Joke about Christian Unity
Here is a funny bit that was originally done by Emo Phillips.
Two men are standing on a bridge, one is about to jump off and the other is trying to talk him out of it.
The man asks the jumper, "So are you a Christian or a Hindu or a Jew or what?"
The jumper replies, "A Christian."
The man says, "Small world, me too! Protestant, or Catholic, or Orthodox?"
The jumper answers, "Protestant."
The man replies, "Me too! What denomination?"
The jumper says, "Baptist"
The man replies, "Me too! Southern Baptist or Northern Baptist?"
The jumper answers, "Northern Baptist."
The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
The jumper answers, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern region?"
The jumper answers," Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1912?"
The jumper answers, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1912."
The man then pushes the jumper off the bridge and screams, "Die Heretic!"
Pitching my tent and building my altar
"But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel."- Hebrews 12:22-24
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Heard it - loved it then too. A sadly accurate portrayal of many denominations in the church today.
Kevin, husband of a truly angelic woman, and father to twelve.
Zion United Reformed Church of Sheffield
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I've heard it too, though most of the detailed distinctives given were different!
And I also still think it's funny (even though it's sad...)
Member, Free Church of Scotland
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The Presbyterian equivalent is as follows:
Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in. Another to challenge the action of the first based on the doctrine of predestination. A third to hear both sides and advise them to take it to the session. The session splits over it and brings it up at Presbytery. The Presbytery splits over it and decides to take it to GA. GA appoints a committee and two subcommittees to do a study. Over the course of the next two years, they come up with several position papers (with minority reports) and finally draft a resolution. The resolution is brought before GA and it passes. And then the disgruntled minority breaks off and forms the "Old Light" Presbyterian Church.
Graduate Student, Boston College
Member, Christ the Redeemer Church (Anglican) Danvers, MA
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