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Thread: Funny Joke about Christian Unity

  1. #1

    Funny Joke about Christian Unity

    Here is a funny bit that was originally done by Emo Phillips.

    Two men are standing on a bridge, one is about to jump off and the other is trying to talk him out of it.

    The man asks the jumper, "So are you a Christian or a Hindu or a Jew or what?"

    The jumper replies, "A Christian."

    The man says, "Small world, me too! Protestant, or Catholic, or Orthodox?"

    The jumper answers, "Protestant."

    The man replies, "Me too! What denomination?"

    The jumper says, "Baptist"

    The man replies, "Me too! Southern Baptist or Northern Baptist?"

    The jumper answers, "Northern Baptist."

    The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

    The jumper answers, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

    The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern region?"

    The jumper answers," Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

    The man replies, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1912?"

    The jumper answers, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region council of 1912."

    The man then pushes the jumper off the bridge and screams, "Die Heretic!"
    Bill
    Pitching my tent and building my altar
    (SBC)
    6 member(s) found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Heard it - loved it then too. A sadly accurate portrayal of many denominations in the church today.
    Kevin, husband of a truly angelic woman, and father to twelve.
    Zion United Reformed Church of Sheffield
    Ontario, Canada
    2 member(s) found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,060
    I've heard it too, though most of the detailed distinctives given were different!
    And I also still think it's funny (even though it's sad...)
    JennyG
    Member, Free Church of Scotland
    Scotland
    1 member(s) found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    ... I was actually hoping/wondering you were posting this, given the title
    Jonathan
    Reformed Baptist
    Deacon-in-training
    Philadelphia, PA
    LBC 1689, basically.

    "For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea." - Habakkuk 2:14

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    B

  6. #6
    Michael Cope
    Westminster Presbyterian Church - PCA (Covenanter by conviction)
    Fort Myers, FL

    "Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Very few have excellence thrust upon them...They achieve it. They do not achieve it unwittingly by 'doing what comes naturally' and they don't stumble into it in the course of amusing themselves. All excellence involves discipline and tenacity of purpose." John Gardner

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3,786
    Them Baptists are crazy. I tell you what.
    Jonathan
    Reformed Baptist
    Ohio

    My blog: Middle of the Narrow Way

  8. #8
    The Presbyterian equivalent is as follows:

    Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: One to screw it in. Another to challenge the action of the first based on the doctrine of predestination. A third to hear both sides and advise them to take it to the session. The session splits over it and brings it up at Presbytery. The Presbytery splits over it and decides to take it to GA. GA appoints a committee and two subcommittees to do a study. Over the course of the next two years, they come up with several position papers (with minority reports) and finally draft a resolution. The resolution is brought before GA and it passes. And then the disgruntled minority breaks off and forms the "Old Light" Presbyterian Church.
    Philip
    Graduate Student, Boston College
    MA, Theology
    Member, Christ the Redeemer Church (Anglican) Danvers, MA
    5 member(s) found this post helpful.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    This could be an episode of Baptisms Gone Wild. Full immersion with a twist.

  11. #11
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    That was hilarious Philip...thanks for the laugh!

  12. #12

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    3,060
    Quote Originally Posted by P. F. Pugh View Post
    Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: One to screw it in. Another to challenge the action of the first based on the doctrine of predestination. A third to hear both sides and advise them to take it to the session. The session splits over it and brings it up at Presbytery. The Presbytery splits over it and decides to take it to GA. GA appoints a committee and two subcommittees to do a study. Over the course of the next two years, they come up with several position papers (with minority reports) and finally draft a resolution. The resolution is brought before GA and it passes. And then the disgruntled minority breaks off and forms the "Old Light" Presbyterian Church.
    nice! but don't you mean the "Old Light-Bulb" Presbyterian church??
    JennyG
    Member, Free Church of Scotland
    Scotland

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