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Thread: Teaching your child how to be quiet

  1. #1

    Teaching your child how to be quiet

    How do you do it? My 2 year old doesn't understand being quiet. We've tried to teach him, but we haven't figured out how to do it. The closest we've come is teaching him to close his mouth--but then he just tries to talk through clinched teeth! It's actually pretty funny. Anyway, any suggestions?
    Joshua F
    Mountain View Community Church
    Fort Collins, CO

  2. #2
    Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, but I was the caretaker for my cousin's 2 young children for a period. And I've been a nanny.

    2 is pretty young for them to be quiet for long periods - especially if the child has a "loud" personality. The fact that he closes his mouth but still tries to talk probably means that he doesn't understand - as opposed to him being rebellious. I've always had more luck with just getting the child to play a quiet game or do something that is quiet rather than trying to get them to be still and be quiet. You might also try playing quiet games, like "Quiet mouse." One of the kids I took care of loved to imitate a mouse - and mice are quiet (at least that's what I told him!)
    Kathleen M
    nondenominational
    Montana

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Montanablue View Post
    Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, but I was the caretaker for my cousin's 2 young children for a period. And I've been a nanny.

    2 is pretty young for them to be quiet for long periods - especially if the child has a "loud" personality. The fact that he closes his mouth but still tries to talk probably means that he doesn't understand - as opposed to him being rebellious. I've always had more luck with just getting the child to play a quiet game or do something that is quiet rather than trying to get them to be still and be quiet. You might also try playing quiet games, like "Quiet mouse." One of the kids I took care of loved to imitate a mouse - and mice are quiet (at least that's what I told him!)
    Definately a challenge! But worth it nonetheless. I've found that the best training ground for corporate worship, is family worship. If my children are taught that talking during the Bible reading or prayer is a swift road to discipline, they will generally stop doing it. And this will pay dividends when my dear wife is home sick and I am sitting in the pew with just me and 3 or more of them.
    Riley

  4. #4
    I would just be careful to make sure that the child understands what you want before you discipline him. Otherwise he'll just be confused. It also may work to really praise him when he is being quiet - so he gets that that is the desirable behavior when you say, "okay, its time to be quiet."
    Kathleen M
    nondenominational
    Montana

  5. #5
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    I have a 5 year old daughter and a nearly 8 year old son... and they still won't be quiet!
    Eric Heistand
    Sylvan Way Baptist Church
    Baptist General Conference (Converge Worldwide)
    Bremerton, WA


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Montanablue View Post
    I would just be careful to make sure that the child understands what you want before you discipline him. Otherwise he'll just be confused. It also may work to really praise him when he is being quiet - so he gets that that is the desirable behavior when you say, "okay, its time to be quiet."
    Yes, I will always tell them once and give them opportunity to obey before it gets to that, unless is something that I already expect them to know better, like hurting a sibling.
    Riley

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Willem van Oranje View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Montanablue View Post
    Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, but I was the caretaker for my cousin's 2 young children for a period. And I've been a nanny.

    2 is pretty young for them to be quiet for long periods - especially if the child has a "loud" personality. The fact that he closes his mouth but still tries to talk probably means that he doesn't understand - as opposed to him being rebellious. I've always had more luck with just getting the child to play a quiet game or do something that is quiet rather than trying to get them to be still and be quiet. You might also try playing quiet games, like "Quiet mouse." One of the kids I took care of loved to imitate a mouse - and mice are quiet (at least that's what I told him!)
    Definately a challenge! But worth it nonetheless. I've found that the best training ground for corporate worship, is family worship. If my children are taught that talking during the Bible reading or prayer is a swift road to discipline, they will generally stop doing it. And this will pay dividends when my dear wife is home sick and I am sitting in the pew with just me and 3 or more of them.
    We too have found this to be the most effective way of teaching our youngest son to sit quietly for a semi-long period of time.
    Michael Cope
    Westminster Presbyterian Church - PCA (Covenanter by conviction)
    Fort Myers, FL

    "Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Very few have excellence thrust upon them...They achieve it. They do not achieve it unwittingly by 'doing what comes naturally' and they don't stumble into it in the course of amusing themselves. All excellence involves discipline and tenacity of purpose." John Gardner

  8. #8
    It is very much like teaching a dog to stay. You start in small doses. Begin in places where you have control, complete control. Reward good behaviour, discipline bad behaviour. At two most children definitely understand what 'quiet' is, they just don't want to do it. It is this little thing called rebellion They can learn to remain calm and quiet. It takes time and patience on the part of the parent.
    'There's nae jouking in the cause of Christ' - James Guthrie

    We shall not adjust our Bible to the age; but before we have done with it, by God's grace, we shall adjust the age to the Bible. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon

    Lawrence Underwood, Jr.
    Pastor - Providence Family Fellowship / Mobile, Alabama
    LBC
    My Blog - Imprimis

    Deo Vindice

  9. #9
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    At that age, we made sure they understood by practicing "quiet time" first. I or my wife would declare "quiet time," say, around the table or in the car, and everyone (us included) would have to be quiet. Any talking was immediately corrected. They did quickly learn what it meant, which made us feel okay about disciplining them in other settings when they ignored quiet time.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Willem van Oranje View Post
    Definately a challenge! But worth it nonetheless. I've found that the best training ground for corporate worship, is family worship. If my children are taught that talking during the Bible reading or prayer is a swift road to discipline, they will generally stop doing it. And this will pay dividends when my dear wife is home sick and I am sitting in the pew with just me and 3 or more of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Montanablue View Post
    I would just be careful to make sure that the child understands what you want before you discipline him. Otherwise he'll just be confused. It also may work to really praise him when he is being quiet - so he gets that that is the desirable behavior when you say, "okay, its time to be quiet."
    I agree that we shouldn't yet discipline him for not being quiet. We only discipline him for rebelliousness. I really don't think he understands what it means to be quiet, so we have tried to be gracious in that regard.

    ---------- Post added at 06:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by LawrenceU View Post
    It is very much like teaching a dog to stay. You start in small doses. Begin in places where you have control, complete control. Reward good behaviour, discipline bad behaviour. At two most children definitely understand what 'quiet' is, they just don't want to do it. It is this little thing called rebellion They can learn to remain calm and quiet. It takes time and patience on the part of the parent.
    Our child is certainly a little rebel. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit, but at this point it isn't clear to us that he is being rebellious in this regard. He is very expressive, active, and social. As I said before, even when we tell him to close his mouth, he talks through clinched teeth. He understands that he's supposed to close his mouth but doesn't understand the point is to stop talking (I think)!

    ---------- Post added at 07:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:59 AM ----------

    Several of you have gone with the correction to training route for teaching your childthe meaning of quiet. What does your "discipline" look like in this circumstance? Is it different than how you discipline rebelliousness?
    Joshua F
    Mountain View Community Church
    Fort Collins, CO

  11. #11
    If you do it only for church, but you are strict, then that's all you generally need. If they can sit for 1.5 hours without talking once per week, then if for some reason you need to tell them to be quite during the week it's easy. Wooden spoons on the backside are nice.
    Tim Vaughan
    Member, Redeemer Presbyterian, OPC,
    Santa Maria
    California

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by jpfrench81 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Willem van Oranje View Post
    Definately a challenge! But worth it nonetheless. I've found that the best training ground for corporate worship, is family worship. If my children are taught that talking during the Bible reading or prayer is a swift road to discipline, they will generally stop doing it. And this will pay dividends when my dear wife is home sick and I am sitting in the pew with just me and 3 or more of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Montanablue View Post
    I would just be careful to make sure that the child understands what you want before you discipline him. Otherwise he'll just be confused. It also may work to really praise him when he is being quiet - so he gets that that is the desirable behavior when you say, "okay, its time to be quiet."
    I agree that we shouldn't yet discipline him for not being quiet. We only discipline him for rebelliousness. I really don't think he understands what it means to be quiet, so we have tried to be gracious in that regard.

    ---------- Post added at 06:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by LawrenceU View Post
    It is very much like teaching a dog to stay. You start in small doses. Begin in places where you have control, complete control. Reward good behaviour, discipline bad behaviour. At two most children definitely understand what 'quiet' is, they just don't want to do it. It is this little thing called rebellion They can learn to remain calm and quiet. It takes time and patience on the part of the parent.
    Our child is certainly a little rebel. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit, but at this point it isn't clear to us that he is being rebellious in this regard. He is very expressive, active, and social. As I said before, even when we tell him to close his mouth, he talks through clinched teeth. He understands that he's supposed to close his mouth but doesn't understand the point is to stop talking (I think)!

    ---------- Post added at 07:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:59 AM ----------

    Several of you have gone with the correction to training route for teaching your childthe meaning of quiet. What does your "discipline" look like in this circumstance? Is it different than how you discipline rebelliousness?
    If I tell them to stop talking, and they don't, then we have a "rebellion" issue. And that's where discipline comes in.
    Riley

  13. #13
    i have a 2 year old daughter, she's still has her moments, but she understands what it means to be quiet.... she even tells us to be quiet sometimes....

    having her in church has helped, when she would talk i would tell her "shhh" and if she got louder or continued i would take her out and spank her.... after the spanking i would have a talk with her and tell her she needs to be quiet...

    this could get very repetitive at some times because you may miss most of the sermon, but it teaches her when she can participate (corporate worship) and when to be silent and listen.
    "Bible knowledge without repentance, will be but a torch to light men to hell. -Thomas Watson
    United Through Christ
    Ricky Heeb

    Grace Reformed Church (RCUS) Lancaster, CA
    http://deliveredtothesaints.com

  14. #14
    I have 4 kids: age 6,5,2,1- and we are still asking this same question!

    One thing that is helpful is to have consistent DAILY family worship where the kids are required to sit like they are in church.

    That's all I got.
    Pastor Nathan Eshelman
    Los Angeles Reformed Presbyterian Church (RPCNA)
    Master of Divinity, Master of Theology (candidate) Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary
    Doctor of Ministry, Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary
    Gentle Reformation

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