A Puritan Board Dating

jd.morrison · #1 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 04:30 PM

- Puritan Board Dating...

Reformed Singles looking for Reformed Singles...

ENOUGH SAID...

Grace Alone · #2 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 04:36 PM

I have been married a long, long time, but I do recall there being a reformed internet dating site in the past. I just remember readign about a couple meeting there, and they eventually married. I never knew the name of it, but I think it is a terrific idea!

VirginiaHuguenot · #3 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:13 PM

There was a thread previously in this forum called "PB-Harmony" where, if I recall correctly (the thread is not accessible currently), the admins vetoed this proposal.

ChristianHedonist · #4 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:16 PM

Sovereign Grace Singles

jd.morrison · #5 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:16 PM

- that is all I have to say about that...

**DMcFadden** · #6 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:17 PM

J.D.,

Wow, you've been sampling that formerly forbidden brew again, haven't you? Just because you are no longer a fundamentalist and are enjoying being Reformed, don't expect that there is a PB analog for everything!!!

Now, if you excuse me, I must get off my PB computer, quit sipping diet coke out of my John Owen mug, take my book on EP, and make a trip to the John (Calvin) for a few minutes of respite.

jd.morrison · #7 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristianHedonist

Sovereign Grace Singles

- That is awesome! Thanks for the link... Ignore the mad "smiley" (such and oxymoron)

Grace Alone · #8 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:20 PM

Nevermind..I see you clarified! I think the site looks good!

jd.morrison · #9 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMcFadden

J.D.,

Wow, you've been sampling that formerly forbidden brew again, haven't you? Just because you are no longer a fundamentalist and are enjoying being Reformed, don't expect that there is a PB analog for everything!!!

Now, if you excuse me, I must get off my PB computer, quit sipping diet coke out of my John Owen mug, take my book on EP, and make a trip to the John (Calvin) for a few minutes of respite.

HAHAHA! Sorry to have monopolized your time

Have fun!

**DMcFadden** · #10 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:27 PM

J.D.,

Not to worry. It all worked out in the end.

Simply_Nikki · #11 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 05:37 PM

Though I do know one person personally who has met and married a man from Sovereign Grace Singles, I find the website is not really that active. There are only about a handful of men and women who actually check back with the site often, and then there are physical "preferences" that people list that you may not fit into which makes the selectively even more stringent.

God Speed to you if you decide to join. Perhaps it will bless you, perhaps it'll just add to more frustrations, nevertheless, blessed be the name of the Lord.

R Harris · #12 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 06:03 PM

Steve Schlissel used to have a service, but he turned it over to someone several years ago. I do not know who runs it now.

While some people may laugh about this, it is a serious problem for those men and women who live in an area where there are nothing but non-reformed people around. The theological differences do cause a lot of problems, I can testify first hand to this from "dating" in the past.

Jay Adams wrote a booklet about the necessity for reformed matchmaking about 20 years ago, but it is out of print now. It was excellent, but I do not have it anymore.

Pilgrim · #13 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 06:06 PM

I have known (in a virtual way) the owner of SGS, Dean Scott for several years. Prior to my engagement and marriage I used to be active on there from time to time. It always seemed to be as much about fellowship as about courtship, but probably a few dozen people have met and gotten married as a result of being on there. It is not a perfect site, but it is far and away the best site of its kind on the internet.

Tim · #14 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 06:40 AM

You know, I have to say that this is one of the worst things about being reformed. As said above, there are people that probably live hundreds of miles away from the next available reformed single person. It is a very real problem. I have often thought that the Puritan Board would be the ideal place to have some interaction of this sort.

I don't mean a "dating website" but rather look at it this way: How many pastors are on this website? How many of them have singles in their congregations that are at a loss of where to look? We are a community and an especially valuable community for those who find that there are not that many like-minded individuals around. I am wondering if sometime a particular PB member might notice that there is another PB member who is single and just might be a good match for that person he knows. How hard would it be for that person to contact the other and say, "from what I can tell from your posts on the PB, you might be a good match for so and so".

The Sovereign Grace Singles website is a good idea, but there are many people who would not put their profile on that website for various reasons. Thus, there are many singles who are simply hidden. But we at the PB have a huge network of people from all walks of life, cultures, geographical locations, elders, deacons, etc.

This network extends far and wide. Think of when people ask a seemingly obscure question only to find that within minutes two or three people have the exact information you are looking for. How many of us know godly single men and women? How easy would it be to find people who would at least be potential matches?

It seems a shame not to use it for this aspect of the Christian life as well.

jonmo · #15 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 07:14 AM

My wife and I met on a Christian singles site over ten years ago and got married shortly afterwards (I guess we were "early adapters"). At the time, it was one of a handful of broad, generic, non-denominational Christian web sites out there (there are dozens more of such models these days, I believe) but it was just nice to "meet" other Christians online. I think my wife and I clicked because we were about the only two people on the entire site who had selected "Presbyterian" as our denomination. From memory, the web site had hundreds (actually thousands) of Baptists, non-denominationals and pentecostals/charismatics (I always excluded the latter from my searches) but it was hard work finding someone of a similar theological background.

My wife is definitely at the "softer" end of the Calvinist scale (Driscoll/Keller influences, as opposed to spending her life immersed in Puritan writings) and even has voted Democrat on occasions (is that enough to get me kicked off PB?!) but I am eternally grateful for finding her (or being led to her). I've never been on the web site but I wonder if you had a PB-type dating site if it would be over-whelmingly male?

Tim · #16 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jonmo

I've never been on the web site but I wonder if you had a PB-type dating site if it would be over-whelmingly male?

What is the gender distribution of the Puritan Board? I know that Sovereign Grace Singles is quite evenly split. But there is the general observation that men are the ones that get into the most heated theological debates...

jd.morrison · #17 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim

You know, I have to say that this is one of the worst things about being reformed. As said above, there are people that probably live hundreds of miles away from the next available reformed single person. It is a very real problem. I have often thought that the Puritan Board would be the ideal place to have some interaction of this sort.

I don't mean a "dating website" but rather look at it this way: How many pastors are on this website? How many of them have singles in their congregations that are at a loss of where to look? We are a community and an especially valuable community for those who find that there are not that many like-minded individuals around. I am wondering if sometime a particular PB member might notice that there is another PB member who is single and just might be a good match for that person he knows. How hard would it be for that person to contact the other and say, "from what I can tell from your posts on the PB, you might be a good match for so and so".

The Sovereign Grace Singles website is a good idea, but there are many people who would not put their profile on that website for various reasons. Thus, there are many singles who are simply hidden. But we at the PB have a huge network of people from all walks of life, cultures, geographical locations, elders, deacons, etc.

This network extends far and wide. Think of when people ask a seemingly obscure question only to find that within minutes two or three people have the exact information you are looking for. How many of us know godly single men and women? How easy would it be to find people who would at least be potential matches?

It seems a shame not to use it for this aspect of the Christian life as well.

This sounds like an amazing IDEA!

LadyCalvinist · #18 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 09:26 AM

Personally, I love the idea of a Puritan Board singles forum.

Simply_Nikki · #19 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 10:43 AM

I guess I can think of one downside (and probably one of the reasons why the administrators voted against this idea). A puritan board dating forum could cause a lot of awkwardness perhaps even temporary hostilities between people who decide they'd like to date/court and then it doesn't work out (for whatever reason), thereby moving on to another PB single guy or gal. While the potential and opportunity of the idea seems great, there are indeed risks for officially allowing that environment to flourish on the PB. I suppose there is nothing wrong (nor against the rules) with having one single PB member asking another single PB member privately about dating/courting, but all manner of discreteness and wisdom should ensue to protect the privacy of both individuals, yet at the same time hold both individuals accountable.

jd.morrison · #20 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 10:54 AM

yeah, I agree Nikki. After some reflection I see the wisdom in the decision to axe the idea. But I also see the wisdom in pastors/elders/deacons wisely doing match making by talking to other people on this site. Because as Tim points out, dating or marrying a person who is theologically of a different camp can put stress on a relationship, just like have conservative or liberal political philosophies can hinder and stress any relationship of that type...

Neogillist · #21 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristianHedonist

Sovereign Grace Singles

I checked it out and I just think it is too expansive. They should try something out on facebook or something free.

Quickened · #22 (**permalink**) 09-02-2008, 08:39 PM

The only problem I can foresee is that things of this nature have a tendency to take the focus off of Christ. I have seen Christian singles frequent message boards with that being their sole goal when in fact (imo) the purpose of these boards would be to focus on Christ first and foremost, further the knowledge of a believer and to engage in discussion of scripture, reformed history/beliefs etc.

I guess i feel its all to easy for singles seeking a mate to be side tracked with that goal.