Closed Thread
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Is liking your neighbour necessary for loving your neighbour?

  1. #1
    Christoffer's Avatar
    Christoffer is offline. Puritanboard Sophomore
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Vaasa, Finland
    Posts
    507
    Thanks
    297
    Thanked 75 Times in 51 Posts

    Is liking your neighbour necessary for loving your neighbour?

    Rom13:8-10

    Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.


    From this I infer that loving your neighbour amounts to fulfilling the law towards them.

    But do I also have to like my neighbour in order to love him? For example, there will always be people who have irritate us in one way or another or who just are hard to like on a purely emotional plane. At least so for me.

    But assume that these feeling do not lead to anything that is forbidden in the law of God. Do these feelings still violate the command to love ones neighbour as oneself?
    Christoffer S.
    Layman
    Finnish Evangelical-Lutheran church
    Vaasa, Finland
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  2. #2
    chbrooking's Avatar
    chbrooking is offline. Puritanboard Sophomore
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Ellicott City, MD
    Posts
    778
    Thanks
    243
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts
    I don't think so. Love is a matter of covenantal commitment. Usually we do like those we love, but I don't think it's an essential component. Liking someone speaks more to commonality, shared interests, similar dispositions, emotions, etc. Loving someone is about raising their interests above your own. I think you will find that when you love people, you will generally grow to like them. This won't always be the case, but it will happen more often than not. Since liking someone is about conformity between their personality and your own, when you practice losing yourself in loving them, the significance of any deficiencies in that conformity diminishes.
    Clark Brooking
    Pastor
    Living Hope Presbyterian Church (OPC)
    Clarksville, MD
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to chbrooking For This Useful Post:

    Christoffer (06-06-2009)

  4. #3
    Montanablue's Avatar
    Montanablue is offline. Puritanboard Postgraduate
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    4,848
    Thanks
    3,391
    Thanked 1,271 Times in 673 Posts
    Short answer: No.

    I'm slowly arriving at the idea that Love is often more an action than a feeling. (Although it can be a feeling too)
    Kathleen M
    nondenominational
    Montana
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Montanablue For This Useful Post:

    Christoffer (06-06-2009), Scott1 (06-06-2009)

  6. #4
    toddpedlar's Avatar
    toddpedlar is offline. Iron Dramatist
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Decorah, IA
    Posts
    6,690
    Thanks
    263
    Thanked 2,653 Times in 1,362 Posts
    I just came across the book "unChristian" at a friend's house, and it seems that that book would argue that indeed, we DO need to befriend people in our acts of love toward them, or it's not "love".

    I think it's hogwash and completely unjustifiable to argue that we have to "like" before we can "love" - but this is what the emergent crowd and others allied with them are telling us.
    Todd K. Pedlar
    member, First Congregational Church, (CCCC) Cresco, IA
    My Blog: In Principio Deus
    Podcast I co-host: Covenant Radio

    "As God did not at first choose you because you were high, He will not now forsake you because you are low."
    John Flavel in Keeping the Heart

    Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Joining PB's Politics & Government Forum
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to toddpedlar For This Useful Post:

    Christoffer (06-06-2009)

  8. #5
    Scott1's Avatar
    Scott1 is offline. Puritanboard Doctor
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Cary, NC
    Posts
    6,001
    Thanks
    2,375
    Thanked 2,290 Times in 1,369 Posts
    The original language of the New Testament used different words with different aspects to translate to our word, "love."

    1. Eros, a sexual or romantic love.
    2. Phileo, a brotherly love toward someone we really like.
    3. Agape, which is the deepest love, which is based on doing good things for another person.


    Mark 12:31

    31And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
    Interestingly, Scripture use agape as the word for loving our neighbor in this passage.

    I take that to mean we "love" them not in the physical, emotional sense, or the sense of those of the household of faith, but in the sense that God loved us enough to die for our sins, a love that overcomes our rejection and contempt of Him, that He would even suffer for that... even die for it.

    Many implications here, but hope that helps as you study Scripture, asking for illumination by the Holy Spirit, about this important part of the Christian life.
    Scott
    PCA
    North Carolina



    "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised)"
    Hebrews 10:23
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Scott1 For This Useful Post:

    Augusta (06-06-2009), Beth Ellen Nagle (06-06-2009), Christoffer (06-06-2009), Idelette (06-06-2009)

  10. #6
    Edward's Avatar
    Edward is offline. Puritanboard Senior
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Plano TX
    Posts
    2,649
    Thanks
    828
    Thanked 889 Times in 594 Posts
    I'd answer 'no'.

    You can pray for your neighbor without liking (or in modern suburbia, even knowing) him. You can perform services, even unknown services, for him. You can show tolerance, even when it isn't warranted.

    Isn't there a parable dealing with this?
    Edward
    Deacon
    PCA
    Texas
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  11. #7
    Brian Withnell's Avatar
    Brian Withnell is offline. Puritanboard Junior
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Leesburg, VA
    Posts
    1,415
    Thanks
    415
    Thanked 778 Times in 384 Posts
    The parable of the good Samaritan was in response to "love your neighbor as yourself" and the question "who is my neighbor".

    The Samaritan did not know the individual, but was a neighbor to him (and showed love).
    Brian Withnell
    Deacon, OPC
    Leesburg, Virginia

    You cannot train for war in the midst of a battle. Prepare before the battle starts; if the battle is long and hard, you will wish you had.
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Brian Withnell For This Useful Post:

    jaybird0827 (06-06-2009)

  13. #8
    Galatians220's Avatar
    Galatians220 is offline. Puritanboard Graduate
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,705
    Thanks
    2,120
    Thanked 1,193 Times in 653 Posts
    No, just as liking your spouse isn't always possible or necessary. But loving him/her is.

    Margaret
    Margaret
    Attending the Southfield RPCNA
    Michigan

    "The righteous also shall hold on his way,
    and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger." Job 17:9

    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Galatians220 For This Useful Post:

    Berean (06-06-2009), Christoffer (06-06-2009), Edward (06-06-2009), Montanablue (06-08-2009)

  15. #9
    CharlieJ's Avatar
    CharlieJ is offline. Puritanboard Sophomore
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    946
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 579 Times in 307 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott1 View Post
    The original language of the New Testament used different words with different aspects to translate to our word, "love."

    1. Eros, a sexual or romantic love.
    2. Phileo, a brotherly love toward someone we really like.
    3. Agape, which is the deepest love, which is based on doing good things for another person.
    Just to clear up, linguistic analysis has disproved any essential differences between phileo and agape. A lot of the problem has been noting clear semantic domains in Classical Greek and not realizing that by the Koine period the meanings of words had shifted. (Charlie shakes his head at C.S. Lewis)

    For example, in the Septuagint rendering of 1 Sam. 13:1&15, Amnon's incestual raping "love" for Tamar is expressed in terms of agape. It is especially interesting that v. 15 says that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the agape with which he agape-d her.

    In Luke 11:43, the Pharisees agape the best seats in the synagogue, whereas in Matt 23:6, they phileo them.

    In John 5:20, the Father phileo-s the Son, whereas in John 3:35, He agape-s Him.

    Then in the famous John 21 "Peter do you love me" passage, Jesus uses agape the first two times. Then the text says, "[Jesus] said to him for a third time" and goes on to use phileo. The point being, if there were a fundamental difference in the meaning of the words, John wouldn't have said "for a third time."

    All that to say, our theology of love is going to have to dig deeper than a Greek word study.
    Last edited by CharlieJ; 06-06-2009 at 01:51 PM. Reason: grammar
    Charlie Johnson
    Downtown Presbyterian Church (PCA)
    M.A. Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary
    My Blog: Sacra Pagina
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CharlieJ For This Useful Post:

    Edward (06-06-2009), smhbbag (06-06-2009)

  17. #10
    Turtle is offline. Puritanboard Freshman
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Brandon, FL
    Posts
    242
    Thanks
    95
    Thanked 48 Times in 39 Posts
    I would guess the things done by our neighbor (or our enemy, or our spouse to include those on both extremes).. I would guess the things they do to cause us to like them or dislike them are not included in the motivation or command to love them.

    It seems the adequate motivation to joy in running the impossible race is looking to the author and finisher of our faith who endured the cross with hope. We are asked to "consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest we be wearied and faint" (Heb 12:3). If we have this perception, can we consider it all joy, a refining of our faith?

    bryan
    tampa, fl
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Bryan
    Deacon, PCA
    Tampa, FL
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  18. #11
    Augusta's Avatar
    Augusta is offline. Puritanboard Doctor
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    7,397
    Thanks
    2,889
    Thanked 1,160 Times in 721 Posts
    The scriptures in several places, 1 Peter comes to mind, says that we are to love when it's hard to love, or do good when it's hard to do good. Otherwise, we are no better than the heathen who love lovable people, and do good to good people. We are to love our enemies. We are to go over and above what they would do.

    I like Scotts agape distinction. Love is an action. I do wonder about this though. It seems we are to at least look with compassion on them in our hearts though as Jesus did on the crowds.
    Traci
    Lynnwood OPC

    "I have taken all my good deeds, and all my bad deeds, and cast them through each other in a heap before the Lord, and fled from both, and betaken myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, and in him I have sweet peace."--David Dickson
    Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!

  19. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Augusta For This Useful Post:

    Idelette (06-06-2009), Montanablue (06-08-2009)

Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69