You Might Be a Dispensationalist If . . .
1. you named your first child “Cyrus Ingersoll,” even though it was a girl.
2. when you pray, you turn and face towards Dallas.
3. you’re surprised and embarrassed by Jack Deere.
4. you need charts to teach the Book of Psalms.
5. you think Jesus used PowerPoint for the Sermon on the Mount.
6. you’re familiar with Chafer, but not Schaeffer.
7. when you’re driving home at night and see a bright light in the sky, you unfasten your seat belt and “get ready.”
8. you find prophetic significance in Eliot Spitzer's arrest.
9. you know who John Nelson Darby is and have his synopsis of the Bible.
10. your favorite definition of “economy” comes from Charles Ryrie.
11. when asked for a commentary on the Revelation, you turn to your complete collection of Left Behind books.
12. your prayer group is concerned that Dallas has "gone liberal."
13. when asked a question about Pentecost, your first impulse is to answer Dwight.

__________________
Dennis E. McFadden, Ex Mainline Baptist (in Remission)
Atherton Baptist Homes, CEO
First Baptist Church of Alhambra, Member, Transformation Ministries (CA)

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

I especially like # 7!

__________________
Rev. Todd Ruddell
Pastor, Christ Covenant Reformed Presbyterian Church (RPCGA)
Wylie, TX
www.christcovenantreformedpc.org

Our best marks can contribute nothing to our justification, ...that is proper to faith. Faith cannot lodge in the soul alone, and without other graces; yet faith alone justifies before God.--G. Gillespie

That's good stuff. I liked #8. My best friend from high school's mom saw prophetic fulfillment in every news event. Everything that happened was either "a communist plot" or "a fulfillment of prophecy"!

__________________
John
Member
Christ Presbyterian Church (OPC)
Salt Lake City, Utah
www.christpres.net

11. You've decided on your own study that Tim LaHaye and Hal Lindsey are the two witnessess in Revelation 11.

12. You have memorized "I wish we all been ready"

13. You've decided to write a commentary on the Left Behind series, only it will be in Greek and Hebrew.

14. You and your friends are going to create Left Behind action figures and sell them on eBay.

15. You've never met a Post-Tribber

16. Each year the Lord lays it on your heart to visit Israel

17. You like reformed churches, but wish they had an altar call

John,

You've got to come up with some new ones. Those were priceless.

I didn't understand them.

__________________
Andrew DeShazo, Deacon, Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, Memphis, TN
"All of us stumble in many ways, but if anyone is never at fault in what he says, then he is mature, able to control his whole body."(James 3:2)

18. You think when the Jews left Egypt and entered the Promised Land they found literal streams of milk and rivers of honey there.

(For those unfamiliar with it, Joel 3:18 is fulfilled in volume 13 of the Left Behind series by literal streams of milk and streams of wine that the characters drink from. And Tim LaHaye explains in a note at the end of that volume that "we believe what we have portrayed here will happen someday.")

19. You keep a tennis racket on hand to swat the locusts of Rev. 9:1-9.

(One of the characters does that in volume 5 of the series.)

__________________
David A. Reed
NACCC, Massachusetts
http://www.LeftBehindAnswered.com
author of
LEFT BEHIND Answered Verse by Verse
Mormons Answered Verse by Verse
Jehovah's Witnesses Answered Verse by Verse

20. You think Joel Olsteen is apostate not because he doesn't preach Jesus and Him crucified, but because he never mentions the rapture!

__________________
Timothy Johnson
First United Presbyterian of Moline
PCUSA (Yea, I know)
Theology/Philosophy Sunday School Teacher
Davenport, IA

[quote]20. You think Joel Olsteen is apostate not because he doesn't preach Jesus and Him crucified, but because he never mentions the rapture![/QUOTE

Good one!

Raises hand

__________________
J. B. Atken
John Knox PCA
Layman, M.A. student at Louisiana College

21. you have Dallas Theological Seminary as your internet "home page."

Or took it off from having it your home page for years, because some are going progressive dispy (aka liberal).

__________________
Rev. Lane Keister
Teaching Elder, PCA, North Dakota (working out of bounds in a CRC and an RCA church)
http://greenbaggins.wordpress.com
http://brahmsgreenglove.blogspot.com
http://accenttranslation.blogspot.com
Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

19. You keep a tennis racket on hand to swat the locusts of Rev. 9:1-9.

(One of the characters does that in volume 5 of the series.)[/quote]

__________________
Josiah Lovett
Member of
Trinity OPC Bothell Wa.
Orthodox Presbyterian Church
Westminster Standards

Progressive? I never thought I would here about dispensationalists going liberal. As a former dispy, that was the worst thing a person could become (other than a Calvinist ).

Who is behind this leftward move in the dispensational camp? This leads me to ask just how many dispensationalists are fundamentalists (as I was)?

Progressive dispensationalists are NOT liberal. Some traditional dispis may consider them so because, rather than embracing the church age as a parenthesis, they perceive that this present dispensation is a key link between past dispensations and the future dispensations.

Progressives, instead of approaching all Old Testament quotations in the New Testament as application, attempt to take into account the context and grammatical-historical features of both Old Testament and New Testament texts. Also, you will find that progressive dispensationalism uses much more of the "already but not yet" thinking popular in NT scholarship generally. Some traditional dispensationalists complain that progressive dispensationalism is just covenant theology in sheep's clothing.

Right. In answer to Josiah, I was not claiming that progressive dispies were liberal. Rather, I was trying to spoof what some traditional dispies would say about progressives. Apparently, no one saw the humor in it. It was an unsuccessful attempt at humor.

I saw the humor in it and I think it hits close to home as well. I indeed heard a man say a few years ago that his son was attending Tyndale Seminary in Ft. Worth because "Dallas is going liberal". This probably had reference mostly to the school becoming more progressive and less classicaly dispensationalist (IIRC Tyndale was founded in response to that trend). But by other standards one could argue they are becoming more liberal. Some examples would be having the RC William Bennett speak, the NET Bible adopting the RSV's rendering of Isa. 7:14, and egalitarian and evangelical feminist influence. For the latter, see here and here. Of course much the same could be said of several Reformed seminaries and feminism.

__________________
Chris
Member at Grace Community Baptist Church, Mandeville, LA

Beware of a religion without holdfasts. But if I get a grip upon a doctrine they call me a bigot. Let them do so. Bigotry is a hateful thing, and yet that which is now abused as bigotry is a great virtue, and greatly needed in these frivolous times. I have been inclined lately to start a new denomination, and call it "the Church of the Bigoted." Spurgeon

22. You see the return of Absinthe liqueor (made from Wormword) as a sign of the immanent rapture. (see this thread)

__________________
Thomas Weddle
Member, Covenant Reformed Presbyterian Church
Evansville, Indiana

Your gonna be in trouble fro breaking the quarantine of the Pub.

__________________
Bruce
PCUSA
Ocean City NJ

LOL

__________________
Adam Brink, Livermore, California
Grace Church of Pleasanton, PCA

He who was punishable by death under the judicial law, is punishable by death still; and he who was not punished by death then, is not to be punished by death now.

Progressive dispensationalists are very respectable theologians who can easily give amils a run for their money. They are continually throwing out challenges that are going unanswered. It was partly PD that moved me towards historic premil.