Andrew Bain (internet hypercalvinist) answers: The Chicken was going to cross the road anyway. If the chicken doesn't believe in limited atonement, it's reprobate. and if it believes that those who believe that folks who don't believe in limited atonement can be saved, it's reprobate.

Greg Boyd answers: God didn't know the chicken was going to cross the road. He was just as surprised as you. While God knew that in his overall scheme, the road would be there, he left it as a free-will choice for the chicken to cross to road.

Kenneth Copeland answers: Well, God told that chicken to cross the road. And by doing so, God was exercising His faith and it manifesting in that little clucker struttin' across the road saying 'I AM a little god.'

Benny Hinn answers: I tell you the truth today, the Lord has sent a word... a chicken will cross the road... and speak in tongues. God is pouring out His Spirit on the chicken population and large groups of poultry are coming to Christ. A fresh annoin....er...basting! Send me money.

Max Lucado answers: What a most beautiful picture of the Christian life we have, as our little chicken friend slowly and gingerly crosses the road - being careful to avoid the pitfalls and potholes which so plague our existence. Oh, the love of God poured out on this bird!

Rick Warren answers: Well, this chicken found out his S.H.A.P.E. and realized that the farm life wasn't his purpose. He made a decision to leave his farm - just like the word of God says at Deut. 30 "I have set before you today, life" and the chicken took life and rolled with it. Now in the company of a new coop, he's free to exercise his gifts in the family of God and fulifill his purpose which drove him across the road in the first place.

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K. Joel Gilliard
Theologically Correct dot Com
http://www.theologicallycorrect.com
Sunday School Teacher (Elementary 2), Grace Communion Church (EFCA) http://www.gchurch.org
The Blog: THINK! - Wrestlin' With Wordz -N- Ideaz

The Uberbishop (NT Wright) answers: in order to break free of outmoded Lutheran and Baptist categories, the chicken broke through the boundaries markers of chickendom and so long as the chicken is faithful to stay on that side of the road, he can have table fellowship with all forms of animals.

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Fredrick T. Greco
Senior Pastor, Christ Church PCA (Katy, TX)
Christ Church Blog

"The heart is the main thing in true religion...It is the hinge and turning-point in the condition of man's soul. If the heart is alive to God and quickened by the Spirit, the man is a living Christian. If the heart is dead and has not the Spirit, the man is dead before God." (J.C. Ryle)

Brilliant!

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Rev. Daniel Kok
Pastor of Grace Reformed Church (URCNA)
Leduc, Alberta CANADA
Church Blog

"there is no creature, either in heaven or on earth, who loves us more than Jesus Christ"
Belgic Confession, Article 26

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Bill Bennet:Let`s say that what if more chickens were eaten?There would be less to cross the road.

ACLU:We should really consider taking the word "cross" out of this ,Why did the chicken "cross" the road joke.How about,"Why did the chicken progress to the other side of the road?"We don`t want any hidden Christian messages in this joke.

[Edited on 10-7-2005 by Average Joey]

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Joe Burgess
Grace Bible Church - http://www.gracemessenger.com/
Olive Branch,MS

"Eighty and six years have I served Him, and He never did me any injury: how then can I blaspheme my King and my Saviour?" - St. Polycarp

Charles Finney;
Actually, that chicken would never have crossed that road under the old measures, but with my new measures (such as the anxious coop) the chicken realized that it had to make a decision to cross that road, and now it can go on to perfection by making another decision...to be oven-baked and fried.

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The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg
Blog
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA, Portland, OR

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Martin Luther: The chicken crossed the road to get to the Pub on the other side.

John Calvin: I would tell you why the chicken crossed the road, but such foolishness is not worth my time or concern.

John Frame: You know, we don't really need to remember any of the classic answers to why the chicken crossed the road, so let's all try and be really creative in coming up with a new answer.

Cornelius Van Til: To truly understand *why* the chicken ultimately crossed the road, you must show that your worldview can intelligibly account for the concept of chickenness, the reliability of the chicken's senses (to know where the road was), the uniformity of nature (to allow the chicken to fully cross) and many other things. As we will see, only a Christian can consistently believe the chicken actually crossed the road, and furthermore, only a Christian can consistently ask that question in the first place.

Gordon Clark: Well, the chicken did not actually know the road was there, since it cannot understand Scripture - therefore, it must have crossed it for some other reason. In order for us to understand why, we must have an axiomatic beginning and show that the notion of the chicken crossing the road is coherent from those axioms. But since they can never be proven, we only know that the chicken crossed the road for sure in a fideistic way.

John Robbins: It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road at this point, since that simple, isolated observation lets us know that it is a heretic anyway.

Tim LaHaye: The chicken crossed the road to serve as a sign to us that the Rapture is near.

Abraham Kuyper: The chicken crossed the road to demonstrate the wonder, sovereignty and glory of God in the many realms of life, such as natural creation (through the chicken's nature), man's constructions (through the road) and the realm of philosophy (through the concept of desire in the chicken).

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Chris


A passion to know and reflect Christ by living and demonstrating the truth and richness of the historic Reformed faith

Visit My Website Here

Christopher Blum
Member of Trinity Presbyterian Church of Northern Kentucky (PCA) in Burlington, KY

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Chicken: Bawk!

It`s funny that his name is Cornelius.A presuppositional chicken.

Forrest Gump:He just felt like crossING.

Mystic:

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Chris Rhoades -33
Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church (PCA) Nashville, TN-Under Care

Vera theologia non theoretica, sed practica est; Finis siquidem eius agere est hoc est vitam vivere deiformem. - Martin Bucer
""True theology is not theoretical, but practical. The end of it is living, that is to live a godly life."

PB/EPer: Chicken?!?! There's nothing in the Confessions about a chicken!

[Edited on 10-7-2005 by crhoades]

John Bunyan: The chicken was trying to escape a hungry Pilgrim that was on his way to the celestial city.

Baptist chicken - there was a lake on the other side

Presbyterian chicken (young one) - it was raining lightly on the other side

atheist chicken - there is no other side

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Gerry Winebrenner
member Christ Presbyterian Church (OPC)
Janesville WI

Psalm 95:6-7
Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.

Agnostic chicken - there may be another side

Jehovah`s witness chicken - to be one of the 144,000 chickens

Word of Faith chicken - if I donnot make it,I don`t have enough faith

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~Keon Garraway~ Brooklyn, NY Member of Franklin Square OPC

Love for God demonstrated by the love for our children in giving them a God centered education is the only hope for our country. by David Morrow
Pslam 71:20 [Thou], which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

This is great! LOL

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Beth Montgomery
Wife to Steve,mom of Benjamin and John, Graduate Whitefield Theological Seminary



Blog: Journeying for Him

Tolle Lege, Tolle Lege!

Was that a Pilgrim named Bo?



:bigsmile:


[Edited on 10-7-05 by pastorway]

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Pastor Phillip M. Way
[url=http://www.timeintheword.org][color=blue] Maranatha Community Church of Central Texas[/color][/url]
A Reformed Baptist Congregation and Member Church of the
Fellowship of Independent Reformed Evangelicals [url=http://www.firefellowship.org][color=red](FIRE)[/color][/url]

Blogging at: [url=http://pastorway.blogspot.com/][color=blue][i]pastorway[/i][/color][/url]
Sermons Online at: [url=http://www.sermonaudio.com/timeintheword][color=blue]TIME in the Word Ministries[/color][/url]

When all souls are saved and all mourners comforted we may venture to discuss recondite theories, but not while graveyards are filling with those who know not God. -- CH Spurgeon

[b]The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.
Luke 18:27[/b]

Gerstner interpreting a 40 page small print thesis by Edwards..... "Because he was inclined by nature to do it."

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(Norseman Moderator)

R. Martin Snyder
1689er
Harmony Baptist Church (Member)
PuritanCovenanter MSN Blog
PuritanCovenanter's MySpace Page

"Our object should not be to have scripture on our side but to be on the side of scripture; and however dear any sentiment may have become by being long entertained, so soon as it is seen to be contrary to the Bible, we must be prepared to abandon it without hesitation."
William Symington

Click to get:Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Well, there isn't -- I checked!

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Andrew Myers
Husband of Jessica, Father of Jackson, Katie and Samuel
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Warrenton, VA USA
Editor, The Matthew Poole Project

"Let your Morning Thoughts, and your last Evening Thoughts, be what shall become of you to all Eternity." -- Matthew Poole

It is and eschatalogical road and the chicken is in an intermediate state of *now/not yet* crossing of the road.

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Traci
Lynnwood OPC
Psalm 52:8-9
8 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God: I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever.
9 I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.

Baptist PB'er; There's nothing about a chicken in the LBCF either!

Arminian; Now that chicken will have to perservere or it may find itself on the original side of the road again!

Greg Bahnsen To destroy humanism and to route the atheistic chickens.

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J. B. Atken
John Knox PCA
Layman, M.A. student at Louisiana College