TAKE A BITE OUT OF THINE!
Arlington, VA – Pastor MacGruph, President of the National KJV Annihilation Council (NKAC), wants to encourage parents and guardians in your church to “Pray it Safe”. “There are several easy ways you can pray for and participate in the complete annihilation of the outdated, obsolete, confusing KJV Bible,” said MacGruph. “Our goal may take more than a generation, so we must begin by protecting the children.” NKAC ideas include:
SIMPLE TO MEMORIZE, EFFECTIVE SLOGANS
· Just Say “NO” to KJV
· If You Find a KJV, Don’t Touch
· If a KJV Bully Picks on You, Stand up
· Always Memorize Verses From Your Own Bible
ORGANIZE A KJV TRADE-IN PROGRAM
· Organize a KJV trade-in program or KJV safety lock program (for encouraging proper storage of old family Bibles that are kept for “Births and Deaths” or the "Maps" sections.)
· Work with local pastors to collect used, new, or unwanted KJV Bibles or distribute lock boxes.
· To encourage the trade-in of KJV Bibles, offer enticing incentives such as canned baked hams, Hee-Haw VHS videos, Ryan’s Family Steakhouse coupons, or confederate flags.
· Guarantee anonymity for all owners of KJV Bible contributors. Have a “no questions asked” policy.
· Be sure to include an educational component that reinforces the possible negative impacts of KJV memorization and the importance of safely storing any KJV Bibles that remain in the home.
· Assure program participants that most KJV Bibles are made out of recyclable paper that will not be placed in landfills.
TIMBER ALERTS
Guardians cannot physically be present every second. Even if they were, it would not be proper for adults to openly confront a Sunday School teacher, a VBS leader, an AWANA Commander, a Pastor over for dinner, or even visiting relatives. We would never recommend that an adult attempt to forcibly remove a KJV Bible from anyone (especially a KJV-Only fundamentalist) . But with the proper encouragement, children as young as 3 or 4 can be trained to innocently and swiftly place KJV Bibles in a nearby trashcan or recycling bin. This training and alertness program (DVD only) is called TIMBER Alerts. TIMBER stands for: ‘Thy’ In My Bible Equals Removal.
3 FUN INEXPENSIVE ITEMS
Bracelets: Inscribed with 'Take a Bite Out of Thine'
Bookmarks: Pictorial lessons of how to 'Avoid KJV Bullies'
Coloring Book: Entitled 'Real Bibles' (Note: No KJV Bibles are pictured at all; not even with a Ghost-Buster's symbol. All Bibles pictured within the coloring book are clearly labeled as NIV, HCSB, ESV, or MacArthur)
VERY FUNNY!!
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