FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI has spent the past twenty years living and working in the United States as gossip columnist and rock critic for the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano. Recently, he was also appointed Assistant Managing Editor for the Vatican Inquirer.
American audiences first became familiar with Father Sarducci during the "golden years" of "Saturday Night Live," when he appeared regularly as a commentator (and occasionally as a correspondent) on "Weekend Update." He's also been a frequent and welcome guest on "The Tonight Show" (with Johnny Carson and Jay Leno) and on "Late Night with David Letterman." People on both sides of the camera know that they can always count on the kindly Father Sarducci for some solid laughs and some valuable insights.

For example:

On The Last Supper: It was actually a brunch. The check (discovered by Sarducci himself!) reveals that one guy only had a soft-boiled egg and tea, while everyone else stuffed themselves. But when the bill was paid, it was divided equally. The moral: "In groups, always order the most expensive thing."

On The "Missing" Commandments: There were actually more than ten, but Moses was old and grumpy, and after he broke the tablets he could only remember the negative ones. "Don't do this. Don't do that." The truth is, most of them were more like advice. The Twelfth Commandment, for example, was "Whistle while you work." (People think its from Disney, but Disney stole it from God.)

On Former Vice President Dan Quayle: Dan Quayle was going around the country giving C students a bad name.

On [EDITED by Moderator for CONTENT]: Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn't seem like much, but it adds up). If there's money left when you subtract what you owe from what you've earned, you can go to heaven. If not, you have to go back to work. (Sort of like reincarnation -- many nuns are Mafia guys working it off.)

[Edited on 4-13-2005 by joshua]

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Tom Mitchell
Opp, AL
Member of First Presbyterian Church PCA Florala, AL

Open profaneness is the broad dirty way which leads to hell
--but trusting in religious duties is a sure way, though a cleaner way to hell. ~ Thomas Brooks
www.myspace.com/tom_mitchell1960
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607055102

Oh, how I've missed Father Sarducci!

I'd vote for him!

Robin

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Robin
URCNA
Heidelberg, Ursinus, Belgic Confessions; Canons of Dordt
Revelation 14:2

Now you're talking.

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For the sake of the Name,

John Hill
Faith Community - Woodstock, Ga
Adopted. Husband for 13 years. Father of 5 children.
http://faithcommunitychurch.org- My home church
Rocky Top, you'll always be, home sweet home to me.

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Andrew Myers
Husband of Jessica, Father of Jackson, Katie and Samuel
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Warrenton, VA USA
Editor, The Matthew Poole Project

"Let your Morning Thoughts, and your last Evening Thoughts, be what shall become of you to all Eternity." -- Matthew Poole

Don Novello's sister-in-law is former Surgeon General Dr. Antonia Novello from the Bush the First administration.

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Tom Albrecht
Member, Covenant URCNA, New Holland, PA.

"I'm not a famous man. I'm just a simple country doctor with horse sense."

How about a real reformation?

put R C Sproul in as POPE!!!

just imagine how we could really reform the church
or maybe worse put in matthew mcmahon

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Jonathan Qualls
member
christ community PCA
Clearwater, FL

My vote is for Father Dowling (of "Father Dowling Mysteries")---and for "first lady" to be Sister Stephanie (who I used to think was a babe). Anyone remember this show?

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Andrew R. Stager
Associate Minister
First Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church
Rock Hill, SC
http://firstarp.org

Guys guys... none of these are any match against my choice.... IAN PAISLEY!!!!

[Edited on 4-18-2005 by Jonathan]

[Edited on 4-18-2005 by Jonathan]

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Jonathan Brown
Bedford, New Hampshire
Grace Free Presbyterian Church
Highschool Graduate

The main man of the D.U.P. ?

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*Peter Gray* Elkins Park RPCNA

"Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. " Mk 9:24
"The greatest thing we can desire, next to the glory of God, is our own salvation; and the sweetest thing we can desire is the assurance of our salvation. In this life we cannot get higher than to be assured of that which in the next life is to be enjoyed. All saints shall enjoy a heaven when they leave this earth; some saints enjoy a heaven while they are here on earth." Joseph Caryl

Is this the Protestant Conclave to select the next pontiff? How many Cardinals do we have? How many are disqualified by being more than 80 years of age? Who's going to burn the ballots?

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How often have you wondered why Christ should set His heart upon such a one as you! --Octavius Winslow

Lon Wadkins (Jesup, Iowa)
New Covenant Fellowship, OPC
Independence, Iowa

Tom "Mr. C." Bosley as the Pope...I love it

Also I'll throw my vote in for Ian Paisley as well. Gotta love a man that was physically removed from Parliament for shouting "Antichrist" when the Pope was addressing the crowd.

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Tony Felice
Elder/Acting Pastor
Londonderry Church
Campbelltown, PA

Can I be a cardinal if I vote for Paisley? Or can I be a bluejay?

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The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg
Blog
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA, Portland, OR

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