I had the distinct privilege to have had lunch with a well known pastor in the RPCUS awhile back and here is one of the stories he told in his deep bellowing voice:

"Had the family on vacation a while back and we happened to be in an area where there weren't any reformed churches, so we decided to head on over to the mainline Presbyterian church to see if things were as bad as everyone reports. We walked in, sat down, and within 5 minutes I started getting angry. Up and down the aisles you had these ushers handing out little bags of toys. I couldn't believe it. Well time went on and we got to the sermon and the more the pastor spoke, the angrier I got. You think I could find one of those ushers with the little bags of toys?"

__________________
Bob Lynam
Deacon,
Pilgrim Presbyterian Church (OPC)
Raleigh, NC

Maybe the parents in that congregation refused to control their children. And the church took it upon themselves to provide a bad solution to the problem. But if the parents aren't going to correct their children something needs to be done. But when you are trying so hard to please your "seekers" there is little you can do. Suggesting that parents control their children could be insulting to people in the church. Again I don't agree with the practice, I just see why they might have thought it necessary.

By the way, I see this as more of a problem outside reformed churches. Children are in the services at my church and it is quiet except for babies crying.

__________________
"I was found by those who did not seek me; I was made manifest to those who did not ask for me." Romans 10:20b

Angela Asano
Edwardsville, IL
Member, Center Grove Presbyterian Church - PCA

"History never repeats itself, but it rhymes." - Mark Twain

Is there a support forum for victims of joke assassination here at PB?

I appreciated the joke Bob. It was subtle. Humor is not pretty and it can be difficult in these parts. It's all in the timing and on where your boogaloo is at. Press on.

__________________
Bob Vigneault C.O.L, L.E., G.E, Dr.O.P., O.U.T.
The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog)
Deacon/Christ Presbyterian Church, Janesville, WI OPC www.christ-opc.org

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT! SUBTLE !

Thanks for the critique, I'll keep that in mind next time.

I'll try to send you some guidelines on the subtleties of subtle and some of my own tips on the newly nuanced nuances if I can find the time. I have suffered many years for my humor and I would love to share some of it with others.

I too have heard this story.

As to the "Joke Assassination" the only advice I can offer is "Never give up. Never surrender!"

__________________
James Helbert, Wytheville, VA
Providence Reformed Presbyterian Church, RPCUS
TheBibleAlone.com / The Edinburgh Inn
"Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?” - Zechariah 3:2

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

That's what I use the dancing banana for - to let people know it's a joke. Kinda necessary around here!

__________________
The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg
Blog
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA, Portland, OR

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Okay, let me try your advice, Meg.


I had the distinct privilege to have had lunch with a well known pastor in the RPCUS awhile back and here is one of the stories he told in his deep bellowing voice:

"Had the family on vacation a while back and we happened to be in an area where there weren't any reformed churches, so we decided to head on over to the mainline Presbyterian church to see if things were as bad as everyone reports. We walked in, sat down, and within 5 minutes I started getting angry. Up and down the aisles you had these ushers handing out little bags of toys. I couldn't believe it. Well time went on and we got to the sermon and the more the pastor spoke, the angrier I got. You think I could find one of those ushers with the little bags of toys?"

Three times through and I still don't get it. I must not be subtle.

__________________
Fred Greco
Senior Pastor, Christ Church PCA (Katy, TX)
Christ Church Blog

"The heart is the main thing in true religion...It is the hinge and turning-point in the condition of man's soul. If the heart is alive to God and quickened by the Spirit, the man is a living Christian. If the heart is dead and has not the Spirit, the man is dead before God." (J.C. Ryle)

Must be a Bob joke .

The pastor listening to the sermon was getting restless and needed one of the bag of toys.

__________________
Ivan R. Schoen, B.A., M.A., M.L.I.S.
Pastor of Maranatha Baptist Church (SBC)
Poplar Grove, IL, USA
http://maranatha-sbc.org

The bananas didn't work.

Okay. How's this? The pastor listening to the sermon is a disobedient child.

....Or he wants to throw toys at the preacher....