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10-31-2009, 09:46 PM
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| | | Irish declare war on the French
The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hal lo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command..'
'I see!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Lord preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Me goodness!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners!'
Last edited by py3ak; 10-31-2009 at 10:07 PM.
Reason: No reason to offend the British among us
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10-31-2009, 10:55 PM
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__________________ Traci
Lynnwood OPC "I have taken all my good deeds, and all my bad deeds, and cast them through each other in a heap before the Lord, and fled from both, and betaken myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, and in him I have sweet peace."--David Dickson | 
10-31-2009, 11:03 PM
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I'm not Irish, but still enjoy the drift....
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Rich Koster
1689'er
Browns Mills NJ USA Often Goofy Reformed Eccentric
Romans 7:14-25
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11-01-2009, 01:38 AM
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I'm part Irish and as I read the joke I was wondering what they were going to do with 200,000 French prisoners.
__________________ Ivan R. Schoen, B.A., M.A., M.L.I.S.
Pastor of Maranatha Baptist Church (SBC)
Poplar Grove, IL, USA http://maranatha-sbc.org | 
11-01-2009, 01:52 AM
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| |  Still laughing...
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Ian Adams
Pastor Grace Covenant Baptist Church
Riverside, CA "A man may be theologically knowing and spiritually ignorant." - Stephen Charnock "He who prays as he ought will endeavour to live as he prays." - John Owen
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11-02-2009, 02:54 PM
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11-02-2009, 05:12 PM
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Tell Paddy that I understand Gitmoe will soon be available!
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Gregg
East Texas
Member Heritage Baptist Church
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way
be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so
that now, as always, Christ will be exalted in my
life." Phil 1:20
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11-02-2009, 08:44 PM
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The Irish here are overlooking the easiest solution....feed them beer and alcoholic drink.
They quite obviously have enough to quench the thirst of at least a few dozen Irishmen, and by using a simple conversion factor, one would see this is more than enough to satisfy the needs of 200,000 Frenchmen.
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Jeremy Gage
First Baptist Church
Durham, NC
"No heart can conceive that treasury of mercies which lies in this one privilege, in having liberty and ability to approach unto God at all times, according to his mind and will." - John Owen
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11-02-2009, 09:30 PM
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__________________ soli Deo gloria!
~Nicholas~ Ordained Pastor
Member, Fulton PCA; GPTS Student
Christians are like snow covered dung; it is the purity of the covering which the Father sees. -Luther-
There is nothing more ugly than a Christian orthodoxy without understanding or without compassion.
-Francis Schaeffer-
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11-02-2009, 09:45 PM
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by smhbbag The Irish here are overlooking the easiest solution....feed them beer and alcoholic drink.
They quite obviously have enough to quench the thirst of at least a few dozen Irishmen, and by using a simple conversion factor, one would see this is more than enough to satisfy the needs of 200,000 Frenchmen. | The Irish will never give up their beer and whisky...NEVER!
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