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Author: Subject: How Many Forum Members Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
VirginiaHuguenot
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 10:34 AM
How Many Forum Members Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
Andrew Myers
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Husband to Jessica, Father of Jackson and Katie
Bealeton, VA, USA
crhoades
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 10:41 AM
Oh soooo true.
Chris Rhoades -30
Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church (PCA), Nashville, TN
http://www.gspcnashville.org
110. And, now, what resteth but that God be entreated with continual and ardent prayers, both that he would put into the hearts of all magistrates, zeal and care to cherish, defend, and guard the ecclesiastical discipline, together with the rest of Christ's ordinances, and to stop their ears against the importunate suits of whatsoever clawbacks who would stir them up against the church; and that, also, all governors and rulers of churches, being everywhere furnished and helped with the strength of the Holy Spirit, may diligently and faithfully execute this part also of their function, as it becometh the trusty servants of Christ, who study to please their own Lord and Master more than men.
George Gillespie- 111 Propositions concerning the Ministry and Government of the Church p.23, Works Vol. I
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Puritanhead
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 10:43 AM
How much predestination does it take to elect an Arminian?
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Formerly At Enmity
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 10:47 AM
Another 7 to write on the various greek terms for "light" that may be necessary for clarification
Jason B. Spires (Husband of Brownie)
Soon to be member of Independent Presbyterian Church (Taking elder led class on church doctrine and policy)
We adhere to the WCF and are in the PCA
"Mercy abused turns to fury"- Thomas Watson
BobVigneault
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 10:59 AM
Excellent Andrew! The only thing missing is the member who is going to block copy and paste from page 2, paragraph 9, line 4 to page 47, paragraph 6, line 17 of the Lamp Replacement and Reference Manual, 2004 edition, and expect eveyone to read it online.
Bob Vigneault
Husband to Teresa and father to five.
My blog:
http://theheartbeatofheaven.blogspot.com
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Janesville, WI
"We humans are a strange lot. We hear high moral injunctions and glimpse just a little of the genuine beauty of perfect holiness and then prostitute that vision by dreaming about the way others would hold us in high esteem if we were like that. The demand for genuine perfection loses itself in the external goal, the lesser goal, of external piety. The goal of pleasing the Father is traded for its pigmy cousin of pleasing men." D.A. Carson
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VirginiaHuguenot
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Location: Bealeton, VA, USA
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 11:00 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by BobVigneault
Excellent Andrew! The only thing missing is the member who is going to block copy and paste from page 2, paragraph 9, line 4 to page 47, paragraph 6, line 17 of the Lamp Replacement and Reference Manual, 2004 edition, and expect eveyone to read it online.
Don't worry, Bob, I'm working on that right now...
Andrew Myers
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Husband to Jessica, Father of Jackson and Katie
Bealeton, VA, USA
gwine
Puritanboard Sophmore
Posts: 733
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Mood: turn the lights up brighter, I can't hear you
posted on 6-12-2006 at 11:45 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot
Quote:
Originally posted by BobVigneault
Excellent Andrew! The only thing missing is the member who is going to block copy and paste from page 2, paragraph 9, line 4 to page 47, paragraph 6, line 17 of the Lamp Replacement and Reference Manual, 2004 edition, and expect eveyone to read it online.
Don't worry, Bob, I'm working on that right now...
I was afraid of that.
And remember, the light bulb has to want to be changed.
Gerry Winebrenner
member Christ Presbyterian Church (OPC)
Janesville WI
Psalm 95
6 Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
7 For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.
BobVigneault
Moderator
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Mood: Albino monk? Nah, just prematurely white.
posted on 6-12-2006 at 12:07 PM
Gerry, you must be thinking of an arminian light bulb.
Bob Vigneault
Husband to Teresa and father to five.
My blog:
http://theheartbeatofheaven.blogspot.com
Member of
Christ Presbyterian Church, OPC
http://www.ticon.net/~cpcopc/
Janesville, WI
"We humans are a strange lot. We hear high moral injunctions and glimpse just a little of the genuine beauty of perfect holiness and then prostitute that vision by dreaming about the way others would hold us in high esteem if we were like that. The demand for genuine perfection loses itself in the external goal, the lesser goal, of external piety. The goal of pleasing the Father is traded for its pigmy cousin of pleasing men." D.A. Carson
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gwine
Puritanboard Sophmore
Posts: 733
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Mood: turn the lights up brighter, I can't hear you
posted on 6-12-2006 at 01:23 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by BobVigneault
Gerry, you must be thinking of an arminian light bulb.
Well, duh.
Of course, if you put one of these babies in your lamp socket we would never have to worry about replacing the light, anyway.
But I'm wondering about baptizing the bulb before using it. Would it be safer to just sprinkle rather than immerse?
Gerry Winebrenner
member Christ Presbyterian Church (OPC)
Janesville WI
Psalm 95
6 Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!
7 For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.
VirginiaHuguenot
Puritanboard Doctor
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Location: Bealeton, VA, USA
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 01:25 PM
Somehow I knew this thread would turn into a discussion about baptism or Watts!
[Edited on 6-12-2006 by VirginiaHuguenot]
Andrew Myers
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Husband to Jessica, Father of Jackson and Katie
Bealeton, VA, USA
fivepointcalvinist
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Mood: serving Hashem...
posted on 6-12-2006 at 02:44 PM
Matthew Cook
King's Chapel Reformed Baptist Church
Cincinnati, OH
"But a witless man can no more become wise than a wild donkey's colt can be born a man." - Job 11:12
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turmeric
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 02:44 PM
How many baptize brand-new lightbulbs and how many wait to see if they light up first?
And can it be that I should gain An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me who caused His pain For me who Him to death pursued?
The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg Thomas
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA
Portland, OR
Slippery
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
SCHWEEEEEEEEEET
Keon Garraway
Sunday School Teacher: Christian Covenant Ministries
Brooklyn, NY
Pslam 71:20
[Thou], which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
turmeric
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Posts: 2222
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 02:49 PM
oh, and 1 to start a poll about how many changed lightbulbs before they became Reformed.
And can it be that I should gain An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me who caused His pain For me who Him to death pursued?
The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg Thomas
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA
Portland, OR
Civbert
Puritanboard Sophmore
Posts: 612
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 02:56 PM
I think it's standard grammar to spell out the words for numbers when they begin a sentence - write: "Five dogs live under that there porch" rather than "5 dogs live under that there porch".
[Edited on 6-12-2006 by Civbert]
R. Anthony Coletti
Midway Presbyterian Church (PCA)
Jonesborough, TN
et venite et arguite me dicit Dominus
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crhoades
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Posts: 2058
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Location: Nashville, TN
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 03:08 PM
Lest we forget...
What about the Regulative Principle for changing lightbulbs?
Then there are the exclusive halogenists...
Chris Rhoades -30
Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church (PCA), Nashville, TN
http://www.gspcnashville.org
110. And, now, what resteth but that God be entreated with continual and ardent prayers, both that he would put into the hearts of all magistrates, zeal and care to cherish, defend, and guard the ecclesiastical discipline, together with the rest of Christ's ordinances, and to stop their ears against the importunate suits of whatsoever clawbacks who would stir them up against the church; and that, also, all governors and rulers of churches, being everywhere furnished and helped with the strength of the Holy Spirit, may diligently and faithfully execute this part also of their function, as it becometh the trusty servants of Christ, who study to please their own Lord and Master more than men.
George Gillespie- 111 Propositions concerning the Ministry and Government of the Church p.23, Works Vol. I
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turmeric
Puritanboard Senior
Posts: 2222
Registered: 1-11-2004
Member Is Offline
posted on 6-12-2006 at 06:01 PM
Then there's the debate between those who like to point out lightning to skeptics as evidence of the existence of electricity and those who say one must presuppose electricity in order to know anything about lightbulbs...
And can it be that I should gain An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me who caused His pain For me who Him to death pursued?
The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg Thomas
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA
Portland, OR
beej6
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Location: Northern California
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 06:46 PM
Pardon this post, but I couldn't resist it...
****
(source: Biblical Studies Bulletin, Grove Books UK)
1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one since his hands are in the air anyway.
2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on or off. Or...
Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will be moved to change itself.
3. How many Baptists or Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE???????
4. How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
5. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
6. How many televangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
7. How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one; any more would mean compromise & God's holy standards of light would slip.
8. How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
9. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
10. How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
11. How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
12. How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
13. How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
14. How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how.
***
(Part II
1. How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he has to write a prayer letter about it afterwards.
2. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What's a light bulb?
3. How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
4. How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?
We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, not by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, the room is still dark.
Paul Ganney, computer guru at Hull Royal Infirmary, fine bass player and husband of Ridley Hall's own Rachel Ganney, adds the following:
5. How many Spirit-filled evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pray, and two to catch it when it falls.
6. How many youth leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven. One to hide the ladder, and ten to form a human pyramid.
7. How many church administrators does it take to change a light bulb?
Let me get back to you on that one...
Finally, Maf Cavill writes:
8. How many free church elders does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Responsibility for fabric rests with the body of deacons.
BJ Mora
member to be, Grace OPC, Modesto, CA
inactive deacon
Reformed & Presbyterian Churches & Denominations in North America
SemperFideles
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Posts: 1561
Registered: 10-17-2005
Location: Okinawa, Japan
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posted on 6-12-2006 at 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by turmeric
Then there's the debate between those who like to point out lightning to skeptics as evidence of the existence of electricity and those who say one must presuppose electricity in order to know anything about lightbulbs...
Or Clarkians to criticize the presupposing of electricity as circular reasoning...
Rich Leino
LtCol, USMC
Okinawa, Japan
Presbyterian attending Central Baptist Church, Okinawa
But God.... Eph 2:4-8
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