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06-01-2008, 01:38 AM
|  | Puritanboard Junior | | Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Alabama
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| |  How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
Charismatics - only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals - Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians - None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholics - None. Candles only.
Episcopalians - Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they like the old one better.
Baptists - At least 15. One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Mormons - Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians - We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship
with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb service, in which we will explore the number of light bulb traditions,including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists - Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull , or completely out, you are loved - you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church lighting service is planned for Sunday, January 5th.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene - Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.
Lutherans - None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish - What's a light bulb?
 Found this on another website. |
06-01-2008, 02:31 AM
| | Puritanboard Freshman | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Ethiopia
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| | | Wonderful !!
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Mary Vanderkooi
Kale Heywott Church (KHC)
Soddo, Ethiopia
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06-01-2008, 03:37 AM
|  | Puritanboard Junior | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vacaville, CA
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Dan Pemberton
Vacaville, CA
Member, First Baptist Church San Luis Obispo
Formerly ABUSA (We left, so I guess that makes us American Baptists Unleashed!)
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06-01-2008, 09:31 AM
|  | Puritanboard Sophomore | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Bradenton, FL
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Thanked 162 Times in 98 Posts
| | Now THAT'S funny.
Thanks Tom, I needed a good laugh.
__________________
Steve Butts - Former SBC-er
Three Forms of Unity - Bradenton CRC - Bradenton, Florida
(A conservative member in a conservative congregation)
"Of two evils, choose neither." — C.H. Spurgeon |
06-01-2008, 09:41 AM
| | Puritanboard Junior | | Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,545
Thanks: 413
Thanked 131 Times in 104 Posts
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Seb  Now THAT'S funny.
Thanks Tom, I needed a good laugh. | Glad you liked it.  I wish I could take credit for it but I don't know who wrote it. It is very funny.
Have a blessed Lord's day. |
06-01-2008, 11:43 AM
|  | Puritanboard Librarian | | Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Warrenton, VA, USA
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Andrew Myers
Husband of Jessica, Father of Jackson, Katie and Samuel
Member, Presbyterian Reformed Church of Northern Virginia
Warrenton, VA USA
Editor, The Matthew Poole Project
"Let your Morning Thoughts, and your last Evening Thoughts, be what shall become of you to all Eternity." -- Matthew Poole
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06-01-2008, 03:02 PM
| | Puritanboard Junior | | Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,545
Thanks: 413
Thanked 131 Times in 104 Posts
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by VirginiaHuguenot |
Thanks Andrew
I think I just found the Author. BJ Mora.  |
06-01-2008, 04:24 PM
|  | Puritanboard Sophomore | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Winchester, VA
Posts: 927
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| | | I thought presbys would argue about whether to use "old light" (incandescent) or "new light" (flourescent) lightbulbs/light bulbs/lamps until the sun went down, and so would leave the controversy for next week.
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Brad
PCA Member
Virginia
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06-01-2008, 09:08 PM
|  | Puritanboard Senior | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Rockville, CT
Posts: 2,331
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Thanked 532 Times in 422 Posts
| | | How many Arminians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one but the light bulb has to really want to to change! 
__________________ Sterling Harmon
Coventry, CT
PCA
Deacon
________________
"Whatever is laudable in our works proceeds from the grace of God."
--  John Calvin, Institutes III:xv.3.
"Our Lord God must be a good man, to be fond of worthless fellows. I cannot like them, and yet I, myself, am one."
--  Martin Luther, Table Talk | |
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