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Old 04-03-2008, 10:16 AM
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Define Calvinism using the word 'toys'

This list never fails to make me smile, but it's missing several terms like 'Confessionalism', 'Calvinism', etc. Anyone care to suggest definitions?
  • Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
  • Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys, wins.
  • Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
  • Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
  • Anglican: They were our toys first.
  • Greek Orthodox: No, they were ours first.
  • Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
  • Atheism: There is no toy maker.
  • Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
  • Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
  • Church of Christ, Scientist: We are the toys.
  • Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling ours.
  • B'Hai: All toys are just fine with us.
  • Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
  • Taoism: The doll is as important as the dump truck.
  • Mormonism: Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
  • Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second…
  • Hedonism: Hang the rule book! Let's play!
  • Seventh Day Adventist: He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
  • Church of Christ: He whose toys make music, loses.
  • Baptist: Once played always played.
  • Jehovah's Witnesses: He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
  • Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk, wins.
  • Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
  • Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
  • Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:18 AM
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Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid!
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:20 AM
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A man cannot serve both toys and God. Either he will love the one and hate the other.
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:21 AM
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Depends on who is defining, our opponents might say

1. toy robots programed to say I love you God

I have actually heard Hank Hennigrff do this by saying Calvinism can't be true because that would reduce Christians to Chatty Cathy dolls.
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by etexas View Post
Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid!
Yikes
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:22 AM
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Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.

Nuance:

Moderate Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys, but the non-elect receive temporal toys in this life.

High Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys and temporal toys, the non-elect get no toys in this life.

Moderate Calvinism: eternal toys are sincerely offered to the non-elect.

High Calvinism: there is no well-meant offer of toys to the non-elect.
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Old 04-03-2008, 10:23 AM
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Calvin: (After snapping the head off a doll) Stop sobbing! It was planned in eternity.
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:01 AM
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Patriarchy: Only Play with toys that are hand made out of wood.

Calvinism: Buzz Lightyear He hated, but Woody He loved.

Presbyterian:
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:20 AM
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5-Points of TOYLIP:

T: TOY-tal DepraviTOY
OY: OYconditional Election
L: Limited ATOYnement
I: IrresisTOYble Grace
P: Perseverence of the Saints
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:44 AM
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Health and wealth toys: Your best toys NOW!
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:46 AM
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Kenneth Copeland: You are not a little doll. You are a little god!
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Ritchie View Post
Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.

Nuance:

Moderate Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys, but the non-elect receive temporal toys in this life.

High Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys and temporal toys, the non-elect get no toys in this life.

Moderate Calvinism: eternal toys are sincerely offered to the non-elect.

High Calvinism: there is no well-meant offer of toys to the non-elect.

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Old 04-05-2008, 04:35 PM
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Calvinism: The toys you get freely are predetermined by God in eternity past.
Arminianism: We chose the toys first, so they then came to us.
Semi-Pelagianism: The toys have the ability to reject the person trying to take them.
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