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04-03-2008, 10:16 AM
|  | Puritanboard Freshman | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Lubbock, Texas
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| | | Define Calvinism using the word 'toys'
This list never fails to make me smile, but it's missing several terms like 'Confessionalism', 'Calvinism', etc. Anyone care to suggest definitions? - Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
- Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys, wins.
- Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
- Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
- Anglican: They were our toys first.
- Greek Orthodox: No, they were ours first.
- Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
- Atheism: There is no toy maker.
- Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
- Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
- Church of Christ, Scientist: We are the toys.
- Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling ours.
- B'Hai: All toys are just fine with us.
- Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
- Taoism: The doll is as important as the dump truck.
- Mormonism: Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
- Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second…
- Hedonism: Hang the rule book! Let's play!
- Seventh Day Adventist: He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
- Church of Christ: He whose toys make music, loses.
- Baptist: Once played always played.
- Jehovah's Witnesses: He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
- Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk, wins.
- Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
- Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
- Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
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04-03-2008, 10:18 AM
|  | Bzzzzzz | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: United States
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| | | Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid!
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~etexas~
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04-03-2008, 10:20 AM
|  | Administrator | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Okinawa, Japan
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| | | A man cannot serve both toys and God. Either he will love the one and hate the other. |
04-03-2008, 10:21 AM
|  | Puritanboard Freshman | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Marmora NJ
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| | | Depends on who is defining, our opponents might say
1. toy robots programed to say I love you God
I have actually heard Hank Hennigrff do this by saying Calvinism can't be true because that would reduce Christians to Chatty Cathy dolls.
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Bruce
PCUSA
Ocean City NJ
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04-03-2008, 10:22 AM
| | Puritanboard Freshman | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Marmora NJ
Posts: 499
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by etexas  Calvin:That toy is not in accord with RPG, you can only play with it outside the church building kid! | Yikes   |
04-03-2008, 10:22 AM
| | Puritanboard Doctor | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Saintfield, Co. Down, Northern Ireland
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| | | Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.
Nuance:
Moderate Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys, but the non-elect receive temporal toys in this life.
High Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys and temporal toys, the non-elect get no toys in this life.
Moderate Calvinism: eternal toys are sincerely offered to the non-elect.
High Calvinism: there is no well-meant offer of toys to the non-elect.
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Daniel Ritchie
Saintfield, Northern Ireland - Queen's University, Belfast:History/Politics
Member of Dromara Reformed Presbyterian Church of Ireland (Covenanter)
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04-03-2008, 10:23 AM
| | Bzzzzzz | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: United States
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| | | Calvin: (After snapping the head off a doll) Stop sobbing! It was planned in eternity. |
04-03-2008, 11:01 AM
|  | Puritanboard Senior | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Cary, NC
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Patriarchy: Only Play with toys that are hand made out of wood.
Calvinism: Buzz Lightyear He hated, but Woody He loved.
Presbyterian: 
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--chRis
Psalm 115:1
Christopher Reeder
Husband to Kara, Father to Abigail (7), Caleb (6), Grace (4 1/2), Zoë (2 1/2), Elijah (1) and Baby Girl due 8/6/08
Member: Pilgrim Presbyterian Church (OPC), Raleigh, NC
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04-03-2008, 11:20 AM
|  | Puritanboard Freshman | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rockville, MD
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| | | 5-Points of TOYLIP:
T: TOY-tal DepraviTOY
OY: OYconditional Election
L: Limited ATOYnement
I: IrresisTOYble Grace
P: Perseverence of the Saints
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Will Shin
Rockville, MD
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04-03-2008, 11:44 AM
|  | Puritanboard Graduate | | Join Date: Nov 2005
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| | | Health and wealth toys: Your best toys NOW!
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Pergamum
"If a commission by an earthly king is considered a honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?"
-- David Livingstone
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04-03-2008, 11:46 AM
| | Bzzzzzz | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: United States
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Thanks: 790
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| | | Kenneth Copeland: You are not a little doll. You are a little god! |
04-03-2008, 11:53 AM
|  | McFadderator Minimizing | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: San Gabriel, CA
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| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Ritchie Calvinism: some have been predestined to receive eternal toys, others have not.
Nuance:
Moderate Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys, but the non-elect receive temporal toys in this life.
High Calvinism: only the elect receive eternal toys and temporal toys, the non-elect get no toys in this life.
Moderate Calvinism: eternal toys are sincerely offered to the non-elect.
High Calvinism: there is no well-meant offer of toys to the non-elect. |
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Dennis E. McFadden, Ex Mainline Baptist (in Remission)
Atherton Baptist Homes, CEO
First Baptist Church of Alhambra, Member, Transformation Ministries (CA)
Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions? |
04-05-2008, 04:35 PM
|  | Puritanboard Junior | | Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ellicott City, MD
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| | | Calvinism: The toys you get freely are predetermined by God in eternity past.
Arminianism: We chose the toys first, so they then came to us.
Semi-Pelagianism: The toys have the ability to reject the person trying to take them. | |
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