The PuritanBoard  

Go Back   The PuritanBoard > General Forums > Entertainment and Humor


Entertainment and Humor Discussions of entertainment, recreation and tasteful humor
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt (Col. 4:6)

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 07:59 PM
Marrow Man's Avatar
Drunk with Powder
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,100
Thanks: 2,777
Thanked 2,441 Times in 1,223 Posts
Bad Church Signs

I saw this one today here in Louisville, out in front of one of the many PC(USA) churches in our city. I was driving so I only caught the first two lines of the syllogism, so I'm guessing as to the third...

Quote:
God is love.
Love is here.
______________
__________________
Tim Phillips
Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
Louisville, KY
Husband of Scottish Lass
My Blog: Gairney Bridge
My Facebook/My Avatar

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

"Wherever the gospel is preached, it is as if God Himself came into the midst of us." ~ John Calvin
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Marrow Man For This Useful Post:
Josiah (08-09-2009)
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 08:19 PM
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 913
Thanks: 160
Thanked 169 Times in 117 Posts
You object to the doctrine of the omnipresence of God?
__________________
Steven Nemes
Phoenix, AZ

Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy must be answered - C.S. Lewis
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 08:30 PM
Confessor's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ada, OH
Posts: 1,991
Thanks: 488
Thanked 492 Times in 326 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by steven-nemes View Post
You object to the doctrine of the omnipresence of God?
God is not present in the same way in all places. Hell can sometimes be referred to as a place where God is "absent," because He is not there in the sense that He offers no blessings there, but only curses. Likewise, God could be at that church, but not in the sense that He is among His people, blessing them.

But never mind me, I have to go get some pizza now!

-----Added 8/8/2009 at 08:30:44 EST-----

As for bad signs that I've seen, I hate the ones that pretend to be a "letter" from God, unless they're direct Bible verses. For instance, I remember seeing one that said:

We need to talk. See you Sunday.
-God
__________________
Ben Maas. . . . .Facebook
In college, attending First Presbyterian Church (PCUSA), Ada, OH, and
Belle Center Reformed Presbyterian Church (RPCNA), Belle Center, OH

When at home, attending Covenant Presbyterian Church (OPC), Mansfield, OH


“Prayer is as natural an expression of faith as breathing is of life.”
-Jonathan Edwards-
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Confessor For This Useful Post:
Josiah (08-09-2009), Marrow Man (08-08-2009)
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 09:35 PM
Vonnie Dee's Avatar
Puritanboard Freshman
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Mascoutah, IL
Posts: 111
Thanks: 14
Thanked 77 Times in 35 Posts
I saw a funny one after Easter that said, "Still open between now and Christmas"
__________________
Evon Taylor
Community Bible Church
Swansea, Il
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Vonnie Dee For This Useful Post:
Augusta (08-13-2009), greenbaggins (08-10-2009), gritsrus (08-09-2009), Ivan (08-09-2009), Josiah (08-09-2009), KMK (08-10-2009), Marrow Man (08-08-2009), Quickened (08-09-2009), turmeric (08-08-2009)
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 09:35 PM
Marrow Man's Avatar
Drunk with Powder
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,100
Thanks: 2,777
Thanked 2,441 Times in 1,223 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonnie Dee View Post
I saw a funny one after Easter that said, "Still open between now and Christmas"
Now that's funny!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 10:17 PM
Curt's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Acton, Maine
Posts: 1,310
Thanks: 367
Thanked 381 Times in 243 Posts
I like the ones that say, "Revival here this week." How do those people get the Holy Spirit's 800 number? How do they get to schedule Him?
__________________
Curt Lovelace
Pastor, Covenant Baptist Church (CBA)
Acton, Maine
Director, Lifework Forum
Sermons at SermonAudio.com/CBCActon
Blogging at Coffee with Curt
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 10:19 PM
Marrow Man's Avatar
Drunk with Powder
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,100
Thanks: 2,777
Thanked 2,441 Times in 1,223 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curt View Post
I like the ones that say, "Revival here this week." How do those people get the Holy Spirit's 800 number? How do they get to schedule Him?
Dial 1-888-CFINNNEY
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Marrow Man For This Useful Post:
Augusta (08-13-2009), Berean (08-08-2009), greenbaggins (08-10-2009), gritsrus (08-09-2009), Quickened (08-09-2009), Theoretical (08-09-2009), turmeric (08-08-2009)
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 10:37 PM
Brian Withnell's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posts: 1,295
Thanks: 371
Thanked 701 Times in 342 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
Dial 1-888-CFINNNEY
Now that was good!
__________________
Brian Withnell
Deacon, OPC
Leesburg, Virginia

You cannot train for war in the midst of a battle. Prepare before the battle starts; if the battle is long and hard, you will wish you had.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following User Says Thank You to Brian Withnell For This Useful Post:
Marrow Man (08-08-2009)
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2009, 11:40 PM
Webservant's Avatar
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Parkville, MD
Posts: 627
Thanks: 167
Thanked 274 Times in 143 Posts
My old church in Highlandtown had one that said, "Hypocrites? In the church? Join us! What's one more?"
__________________
Rich Brown
Deacon/Webmaster
Aisquith PCA
Parkville, MD
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Webservant For This Useful Post:
AThornquist (08-10-2009), Curt (08-10-2009), greenbaggins (08-10-2009), Honor (08-10-2009), KMK (08-10-2009), Wannabee (08-09-2009)
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2009, 02:26 AM
Ask Mr. Religion's Avatar
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 619
Thanks: 142
Thanked 260 Times in 151 Posts
The winner from a Presbyterian church:



But not what I would call a "bad" church sign.

AMR
__________________
Patrick
Member, PCA
Chandler, AZ
ReformedTheologyInstitute.com


I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ask Mr. Religion For This Useful Post:
Berean (08-09-2009), Quickened (08-09-2009)
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2009, 02:36 AM
Christian Soldier's Avatar
Puritanboard Freshman
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
Posts: 61
Thanks: 19
Thanked 22 Times in 12 Posts
I seen one at a Lutheran church just this past week and I was wanting to rant about it and here's my opportunity! It read: "Good News! God believes in you!" Seemed to me they were making God out to be just some cosmic cheerleader. Made me very nauseous.
__________________
Shane
1689 LBCF
Rosemont Baptist Church
Winston-Salem, NC
www.rosemontbaptist.com

"Tis not that I did choose thee, for Lord that could not be. This heart would still refuse thee, hadst thou not chosen me."
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following User Says Thank You to Christian Soldier For This Useful Post:
VilnaGaon (08-10-2009)
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2009, 09:26 AM
BlackCalvinist's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Ellicott City, MD
Posts: 1,979
Thanks: 546
Thanked 248 Times in 98 Posts
Church signs:

http://purgatorio1.com/?cat=38
__________________
K. Joel Gilliard, Husband of Danielle since 7/11/09 (I married up!)
Theologically Correct dot Com
http://www.theologicallycorrect.com
MEMBER: Wallace PCA in College Park, MD as of 10/18/09
The Blog: THINK! - Wrestlin' With Wordz -N- Ideaz
Now announcing: Life | Doctrine | Music - join the message board now! Site launch with streaming radio coming in 11/09!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following User Says Thank You to BlackCalvinist For This Useful Post:
Berean (08-09-2009)
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2009, 09:39 AM
Reformed Thomist's Avatar
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 574
Thanks: 223
Thanked 209 Times in 118 Posts
__________________
Nathan Tyler
Reformed Baptist
University of Toronto (Student: Hons. B.A. in Philosophy)
Ontario, Canada

1689'er

http://nathantyler.wordpress.com
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Reformed Thomist For This Useful Post:
Confessor (08-10-2009), Josiah (08-10-2009)
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 05:14 PM
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 913
Thanks: 160
Thanked 169 Times in 117 Posts
You can make your own here: Church Sign Generator

-----Added 8/10/2009 at 05:14:32 EST-----

but not now, cause the website is down
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 05:39 PM
ericfromcowtown's Avatar
Puritanboard Freshman
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 492
Thanks: 201
Thanked 139 Times in 84 Posts
My wife saw a truly sad one outside of a Unitarian Church the other day:

"We don't do guilt"

__________________
Eric
Woodgreen Presbyterian (PCA)
Calgary, Alberta CANADA
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 06:27 PM
Berean's Avatar
Puritanboard Doctor
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Monticello, IA
Posts: 6,136
Thanks: 3,621
Thanked 829 Times in 697 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericfromcowtown View Post
My wife saw a truly sad one outside of a Unitarian Church the other day:

"We don't do guilt"

I'm sure they don't do sin either.
__________________
Norm
IA PCA

In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will. Ephesians 1:4-5
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 06:52 PM
Scynne's Avatar
Puritanboard Freshman
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Abbotsford, B.C., Canadia
Posts: 106
Thanks: 15
Thanked 28 Times in 16 Posts
"Staying in bed and shouting "Oh God!" does not constitute going to church."
__________________
Dave
Attendee Chilliwack Heritage Reformed
Abbotsford, Canadia

"God does not love us the way we are! God loves us so that we can become what He wants us to be." - George Grant
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 07:13 PM
nleshelman's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,356
Thanks: 262
Thanked 602 Times in 318 Posts


This sign was at OxyPres down the street from the LA RP. I still have NO IDEA what it means! Notice that this one is real... not from church sign generator! You cannot fake stuff this bad!

-----Added 8/10/2009 at 07:13:11 EST-----

Login | Facebookhttp://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...5&id=697640472

__________________
Pastor Nathan Eshelman, Los Angeles, CA
Reformed Presbyterian Church

PRESBYTERIAN THOUGHTS
Los Angeles Reformed Presbyterian Church
RPCLA Sermons Online
Puritan Reformed Seminary
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 07:15 PM
Rich Koster's Avatar
Puritanboard Senior
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Browns Mills NJ
Posts: 2,320
Blog Entries: 3
Thanks: 619
Thanked 703 Times in 405 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericfromcowtown View Post
My wife saw a truly sad one outside of a Unitarian Church the other day:

"We don't do guilt"

That's Osteenian
__________________
Rich Koster
1689'er
Browns Mills NJ USA
Often Goofy Reformed Eccentric
Romans 7:14-25
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 07:15 PM
nleshelman's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,356
Thanks: 262
Thanked 602 Times in 318 Posts
How long have I been posting here, and I still have no clue how to make a picture show up... even after it has been explained a number of times.... uhhh!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 07:34 PM
Backwoods Presbyterian's Avatar
Puritanboard Doctor
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Clarksburg, WV
Posts: 11,973
Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 5,103
Thanked 2,644 Times in 1,604 Posts
Here ya go Rev. Eshelman...

__________________
Benjamin P. Glaser, M. Div, Licentiate, Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church
Member Fairmount ARP Church
Pittsburgh, PA


Deo Vindice
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following User Says Thank You to Backwoods Presbyterian For This Useful Post:
nleshelman (08-10-2009)
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 08:23 PM
Bald_Brother's Avatar
Puritanboard Freshman
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Conyers, GA
Posts: 88
Thanks: 16
Thanked 19 Times in 14 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Backwoods Presbyterian View Post
Here ya go Rev. Eshelman...

Wha....? That doesn't even make sense.

-----Added 8/10/2009 at 08:23:47 EST-----

My least favorite from my old church's sign about ten years ago:

"This Week: How body piercing saved my life."

ungh.
__________________
Ray Nearhood
Layman
Rockdale Community Church (a Reformed Baptist Fellowship)
Conyers, GA
LBC 1689
Husband of Evelyn , Father of Oren and Elijah
"To suppose that whatever God requireth of us that we have power of ourselves to do, is to make the cross and grace of Jesus Christ of none effect." -
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-10-2009, 08:34 PM
Honor's Avatar
de-cool
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Garden City Ga
Posts: 1,530
Thanks: 779
Thanked 475 Times in 205 Posts
yall ever been here? Crummy Church Signs [***Moderator Warning*** Second Commandment Violation on one sign at link]
I always go there and the icanhascheeseburger wesites whenever I'm feeling sad... it always makes me laugh
__________________
Jessica Auner
Wife, Mother,
Garden City, Ga
Ephesus Church
(a Reformed Baptist church)

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Last edited by Marrow Man; 08-13-2009 at 04:46 PM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following User Says Thank You to Honor For This Useful Post:
Berean (08-10-2009)
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2009, 04:33 AM
Brian Withnell's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posts: 1,295
Thanks: 371
Thanked 701 Times in 342 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honor View Post
yall ever been here? Crummy Church Signs
I always go there and the icanhascheeseburger wesites whenever I'm feeling sad... it always makes me laugh
There needs to be a 2nd violation warning on this.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Brian Withnell For This Useful Post:
ewenlin (08-13-2009), Marrow Man (08-13-2009)
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2009, 04:48 PM
Marrow Man's Avatar
Drunk with Powder
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,100
Thanks: 2,777
Thanked 2,441 Times in 1,223 Posts
I need to make a correction to the OP. As I stated there, I could not read the entire sign while passing by (always a good indicator of a bad sign -- too wordy!). I passed by the church again today and this is what it said:

Quote:
God is love.
Love is here. Come and see.
While that's cheesy and all, it's not nearly as bad as I had assumed. My apologies for suggesting otherwise.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2009, 05:01 PM
Confessor's Avatar
Puritanboard Junior
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ada, OH
Posts: 1,991
Thanks: 488
Thanked 492 Times in 326 Posts
Quote:
God is love.
Love is here. Come and see.
Unfortunately for them, now it's invalid!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-13-2009, 05:29 PM
Puritanboard Sophomore
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Vallejo, CA
Posts: 891
Thanks: 60
Thanked 120 Times in 90 Posts
One time I saw a church sign that said, "Superbowl Party."
__________________
Curt Hayashida
member, Community Bible Church (Non-denominational)
Vallejo, CA
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.0

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2 ©2009, Crawlability, Inc.
Copyright © 2002-2008 PuritanBoard.com
Hosted by WebsiteMaven - helping ministries with web hosting advice, reviews, and design.
67 Westminster Abbey © Confessional Presbyterian Presses - used with permission.
Add Our Custom Button to your Google Toolbar

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69