If you're reading this, you've been LEFT BEHIND!
The RAPTURE has taken place!!! If you are reading this, the rapture has taken place and you've been LEFT BEHIND. Early this morning I placed a dead man's switch in my chair so that if my chair was suddenly EMPTY, it would trigger this message.
If you are still here then go buy the Left Behind series and start reading it so you will know what to do. I thought that guy was full of horse apples up to his ears but I guess I was wrong. If anyone wants my iPhone and my lunch, just take it cuz I'M GONE!!!!