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Family Forum discuss Ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated? in the The Christian Walk forums; I am looking for suggestions on special things I can do for my wife to make her feel appreciated and loved. When we first married ...

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    Brother John is offline. Puritanboard Sophomore
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    Ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated?

    I am looking for suggestions on special things I can do for my wife to make her feel appreciated and loved. When we first married I always went out of my way to do little things that my wife appreciated. I will admit that I have slipped in my duties. Six years, two boys, work, etc... Men please let me know what yall have done and ladies let me know what your husbands have done for you. I would really like to here from the ladies. What can we husbands do for our wives that will show our love and appreciation?
    John
    PCA
    Greenville, SC


    Semper Reformanda ~ “The church is reformed and always being reformed according to the Word of God.”


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    Marrow Man's Avatar
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    One I had to find out the hard way -- turn off the TV while she is talking to you! This is especially effective if sports are on!
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron Phillips
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    Brother John is offline. Puritanboard Sophomore
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
    One I had to find out the hard way -- turn off the TV while she is talking to you! This is especially effective if sports are on!
    That is true

    We don't have cable or satilite. But I have gotten some flack from reading and the PB.
    John
    PCA
    Greenville, SC


    Semper Reformanda ~ “The church is reformed and always being reformed according to the Word of God.”


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    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    Ruben is kind and patient every day.

    For instance one evening recently I didn't do a very good job making dinner (readjusting to an electric stove from a gas skillet) and asked him about his meal (I knew it was an abomination). He smiled happily and said, "Well the chicken is burned, the peas are crunchy, and the potatoes are smushy. But here I sit, eating it all, because I love you."

    Maybe you can't always say something so perfectly charming, but that sort of happy gentleness and patience daily mean more than any special occasion thing to me.
    Last edited by a mere housewife; 03-06-2009 at 11:38 AM.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

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    Marrow Man's Avatar
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    I was a bachelor for 33 years, so I learned to cook and clean and all that long before I met her. But have you tried cooking a meal for her sometime? Also, set the table and clean up afterward. That would let her know you think she is special.

    And here's a suggestion (not one that I've followed personally though!); perhaps taking the time to write her a long love letter (and I mean hand write, not type) would be good. Godly men of old did that to their loves.

    Back when I was wooing her, I memorized poems and recited those to her. In particular, I memorized Bobby Burns' "O My Love Is Like a Red, Red Rose" (she's Scottish, remember!). Perhaps you can do that!
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron Phillips
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    Knoxienne's Avatar
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    Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner if she's too tired or not feeling well.

    Fixing things(or arranging them to get fixed) around the house

    Dates - even going out to for a hamburger or ice cream for an hour or so is nice.

    Buying little items she likes at the store without her asking (favorite cocoas, coffee, coffee creamers, fruit, cheese, snacks, candy bars, a book or video she's been wanting, etc)

    When we have guests, Bill will often make the main dish so that all I have to do is pick up the house a bit and throw a quick dessert together.

    Sometimes I'll be emptying the dishwasher and Bill will help me while we have a little conversation about our day.

    If a child or other family member is calling, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM or whatever" and you're home and it's something you can take care of, tell them Mom is busy and take care of the problem.

    Tell your wife to invite some lady friends over for coffee and snacks and serve them the coffee and the snacks while they visit.

    Carry in the groceries or other storebought goods for her and help her put them away.

    Don't just tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only woman in the world.
    Toni Cunningham, Wife of Bill (Theognome)
    Parkwoods OPC, Overland Park KS


    "Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace." ~ Alexander Pope

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    I am worried that you have to ask...

    You know her better than we do. You said you "used to do little things". Do them again.

    All I can say after 43 years with my sweetheart, is it's not what you buy her that makes a difference.
    Jim
    1689 LBCF
    Independent Bible Church
    North Texas, USA

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    Quote Originally Posted by Knoxienne View Post
    Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner if she's too tired or not feeling well.
    My dear husband has been doing this all too often recently since I've been sick with our first pregnancy. He cooks dinner and cleans it up himself. It's such a blessing.

    Dates - even going out to for a hamburger or ice cream for an hour or so is nice.
    May I recommend McDonalds? Yes, I know. But I hadn't been to one in years, and the ones near us all look like a nice coffee house inside. We were the only ones in the restaurant and enjoyed dessert off the dollar menu.

    Don't just tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only woman in the world.
    My husband always says I'm the most beautiful women in the universe, just in case there are any astronauts or aliens who aren't in the world at the moment.
    Kim G
    Mitchell Road Presbyterian Church
    Greenville, SC

    Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.
    Psalm 86:11

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    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm an alien! --if R told me I was the most beautiful woman on earth I would wonder what was wrong with his eyes :-). I know he prefers me, even way I look, to any woman on earth, and that matters far more to me. I think women probably do vary in this and other specifics: as Gomarus says, you know your own wife best.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

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    Any extra chore around the house is always appreciated. Tim brings me a treat if he's near a coffee house or sweet shop I like. Remind her how beautiful you think she is--actually tell her out loud (or on paper) that she's a good wife, mother, etc. This goes for both sides--often we think/assume the other person knows we feel that way, but we need to say it.
    Anna
    Wife of Tim/Marrow Man
    Mother of Grace Cameron
    Louisville, KY
    Member of Midlane Park Presbyterian (Associate Reformed Presbyterian)


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    lynnie is offline. Puritanboard Senior
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    Ask her what will bless her most. It will probably the the last thing in the world you want to do or initiate.

    Dan Allender has a funny story about this. He mustered up the grace to ask his wife what change she most wanted to see, and mentally prepared himself for a whole list of things he thought she might say, and was prepared to do them all. So she says that what bothers her the most and what she really wants to see changed is for him to witness to their (regular contact) neighbors. It was the absolute last thing in the world he wanted to do, and here she was with this heavy burden for them, all alone.

    We've had some big conflict over the years where hub looked at all he does (and it is a lot, and very sacrificial) and felt like I was ungrateful, but I felt like the one thing I wanted most was more praying together, and him taking the lead in it at home, especially prayer for the kids (at the time he was just great at church, but alone with me he'd slack off). Its almost 30 years now and I am happy with things now, but it wasn't always so.

    So ask your wife what matters the most. And do it!
    Lynnie

    Attending Maranatha Christian Fellowship

    Central NJ

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    Marrow Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Maybe I'm an alien! --if R told me I was the most beautiful woman on earth I would wonder what was wrong with his eyes :-). I know he prefers me, even way I look, to any woman on earth, and that matters far more to me. I think women probably do vary in this and other specifics: as Gomarus says, you know your own wife best.
    But Heidi, you get to be married to The Batman!
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron Phillips
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Maybe I'm an alien! --if R told me I was the most beautiful woman on earth I would wonder what was wrong with his eyes :-). I know he prefers me, even way I look, to any woman on earth, and that matters far more to me. I think women probably do vary in this and other specifics: as Gomarus says, you know your own wife best.
    But Heidi, you get to be married to The Batman!
    And I get to ride in the Batmobile. In case you were wondering, we've had it painted gold to blend with traffic and it has a sunroof and remote keyless entry.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

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    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    There is a little book that has pictures of a husband vacuuming the floor, doing dishes, buying flowers, cooking supper, changing the baby's diaper, etc....and this is so true. What chore is the one your wife feels the most buried under and that is where my husband would start for me.

    Bring her a treat. Something little, something she loves.

    And simply telling her regularly how much you both love and APPRECIATE her and everything she does. How you got the best when you got her
    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

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    Theognome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knoxienne View Post
    Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner if she's too tired or not feeling well.

    Fixing things(or arranging them to get fixed) around the house

    Dates - even going out to for a hamburger or ice cream for an hour or so is nice.

    Buying little items she likes at the store without her asking (favorite cocoas, coffee, coffee creamers, fruit, cheese, snacks, candy bars, a book or video she's been wanting, etc)

    When we have guests, Bill will often make the main dish so that all I have to do is pick up the house a bit and throw a quick dessert together.

    Sometimes I'll be emptying the dishwasher and Bill will help me while we have a little conversation about our day.

    If a child or other family member is calling, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM or whatever" and you're home and it's something you can take care of, tell them Mom is busy and take care of the problem.

    Tell your wife to invite some lady friends over for coffee and snacks and serve them the coffee and the snacks while they visit.

    Carry in the groceries or other storebought goods for her and help her put them away.

    Don't just tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only woman in the world.
    Good ideas. I should try them sometime...

    Yer the Purdiest of all the girls in the multiverse! (of course, there is only one girl, too.)

    Theognome
    Bill Cunningham
    Covenant Reformed Church, URC
    Kansas City
    There are three kinds of people- those who can count, and those who can't.

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    Marrow Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
    But Heidi, you get to be married to The Batman!
    And I get to ride in the Batmobile. In case you were wondering, we've had it painted gold to blend with traffic and it has a sunroof and remote keyless entry.
    But the most important question of all Heidi, is this: "Does he have Bruce Wayne's money?"
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron Phillips
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    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    *waits around to see how long it takes Reuben to buy Heidi a chinchilla*

    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

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    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    hmmm . . . that is the corker.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  20. #20
    Knoxienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theognome View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Knoxienne View Post
    Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner if she's too tired or not feeling well.

    Fixing things(or arranging them to get fixed) around the house

    Dates - even going out to for a hamburger or ice cream for an hour or so is nice.

    Buying little items she likes at the store without her asking (favorite cocoas, coffee, coffee creamers, fruit, cheese, snacks, candy bars, a book or video she's been wanting, etc)

    When we have guests, Bill will often make the main dish so that all I have to do is pick up the house a bit and throw a quick dessert together.

    Sometimes I'll be emptying the dishwasher and Bill will help me while we have a little conversation about our day.

    If a child or other family member is calling, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM or whatever" and you're home and it's something you can take care of, tell them Mom is busy and take care of the problem.

    Tell your wife to invite some lady friends over for coffee and snacks and serve them the coffee and the snacks while they visit.

    Carry in the groceries or other storebought goods for her and help her put them away.

    Don't just tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only woman in the world.
    Good ideas. I should try them sometime...

    Yer the Purdiest of all the girls in the multiverse! (of course, there is only one girl, too.)

    Theognome


    Toni Cunningham, Wife of Bill (Theognome)
    Parkwoods OPC, Overland Park KS


    "Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace." ~ Alexander Pope

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    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Bring her a treat. Something little, something she loves.
    Just wanted to highlight this again. Something little. Something she loves.

    Chinchillas
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  22. #22
    Theognome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Bring her a treat. Something little, something she loves.
    Just wanted to highlight this again. Something little. Something she loves.

    Chinchillas
    Good highlight- ya gotta know what she loves, of course. Hmmm... where can I find a box set of some sappy '80's sitcom DVD real quick...

    Theognome
    Bill Cunningham
    Covenant Reformed Church, URC
    Kansas City
    There are three kinds of people- those who can count, and those who can't.

  23. #23
    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    Give her the gift of Hulu.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  24. #24
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    Squeeze play.

    I always recommend, "A squeeze play a day."

    With kids, and life, days can be crazy, so, I tell people and myself, to at least once a day, go in for the squeeze play; a long hug, with eye contact, an "I love you" and kiss.

    Seems simple, but, I think many miss it and days go by without it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdowns View Post
    I always recommend, "A squeeze play a day."

    With kids, and life, days can be crazy, so, I tell people and myself, to at least once a day, go in for the squeeze play; a long hug, with eye contact, an "I love you" and kiss.

    Seems simple, but, I think many miss it and days go by without it.
    Good call. Every day, when I get home from work, the first thing I do is give her a very long hug, which is finished when I sigh the word, 'HOME!'.

    Theognome
    Bill Cunningham
    Covenant Reformed Church, URC
    Kansas City
    There are three kinds of people- those who can count, and those who can't.

  26. #26
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    Nice....

    Quote Originally Posted by theognome View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tdowns View Post
    i always recommend, "a squeeze play a day."

    with kids, and life, days can be crazy, so, i tell people and myself, to at least once a day, go in for the squeeze play; a long hug, with eye contact, an "i love you" and kiss.

    Seems simple, but, i think many miss it and days go by without it.
    good call. Every day, when i get home from work, the first thing i do is give her a very long hug, which is finished when i sigh the word, 'home!'.

    Theognome
    nice!
    WWW.SURFWRITERS.BLOGSPOT.COM
    Trevor
    Christian/Husband/Father/Writer/Teacher--
    --In that order.
    Bethany Church
    CALIFORNIA
    God is my King
    Love God--Live Large

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    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theognome View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tdowns View Post
    I always recommend, "A squeeze play a day."

    With kids, and life, days can be crazy, so, I tell people and myself, to at least once a day, go in for the squeeze play; a long hug, with eye contact, an "I love you" and kiss.

    Seems simple, but, I think many miss it and days go by without it.
    Good call. Every day, when I get home from work, the first thing I do is give her a very long hug, which is finished when I sigh the word, 'HOME!'.

    Theognome
    And my husband doesn't leave the house, ever, without kissing me goodbye. Little routines like that are very important. It's like a special language just for you two.
    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

  28. #28
    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marrow Man View Post
    But Heidi, you get to be married to The Batman!
    And I get to ride in the Batmobile. In case you were wondering, we've had it painted gold to blend with traffic and it has a sunroof and remote keyless entry.
    But the most important question of all Heidi, is this: "Does he have Bruce Wayne's money?"
    Dear Marrow Man,

    I have gone through the lining of all the coat pockets and can't find Bruce Wayne's money. I did discover about seven dollars in quarters in a milk glass bowl. I think he left it for the laundry . . .
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Dear Marrow Man,

    I have gone through the lining of all the coat pockets and can't find Bruce Wayne's money. I did discover about seven dollars in quarters in a milk glass bowl. I think he left it for the laundry . . .
    I'm guessing someone's been robin you.
    Tim Phillips
    Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
    Louisville, KY
    Husband of Scottish Lass
    Father of Grace Cameron Phillips
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    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    You're such a joker.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  31. #31
    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    Maybe he'll buy you a penguin instead
    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    You're such a joker.
    Good one!

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    Colleen, we actually did used to have a giant penguin he got me on one of our anniversaries (name of Sanballat) but we gave it to a little girl when we went to Mexico :-)
    Heidi
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    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
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  34. #34
    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Colleen, we actually did used to have a giant penguin he got me on one of our anniversaries (name of Sanballat) but we gave it to a little girl when we went to Mexico :-)
    Oh that is so cool! Have pictures to post in God's Creation forum?
    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

  35. #35
    a mere housewife's Avatar
    a mere housewife is offline. Not your cup of tea
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Colleen, we actually did used to have a giant penguin he got me on one of our anniversaries (name of Sanballat) but we gave it to a little girl when we went to Mexico :-)
    Oh that is so cool! Have pictures to post in God's Creation forum?
    I ought to have clarified that it was a giant stuffed penguin. But if you think that it would be appreciated I can post a picture of it in the God's Creation forum?
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

  36. #36
    tdowns's Avatar
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    I'll add...

    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Colleen, we actually did used to have a giant penguin he got me on one of our anniversaries (name of Sanballat) but we gave it to a little girl when we went to Mexico :-)
    Oh that is so cool! Have pictures to post in God's Creation forum?
    I ought to have clarified that it was a giant stuffed penguin. But if you think that it would be appreciated I can post a picture of it in the God's Creation forum?
    This exchange reminded me of one related to the OPC...

    Laugh together!...I'm laughing right now...lol Not at, but with you, for a second I had the same image in my mind.
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  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Maybe he'll buy you a penguin instead
    And now Lady F jumps on the batmobile bandwagon. Way to be two-faced!

    I could say that allusion is just riddled with errors, but I shall refrain.

    I'd better shut and stop hijacking this thread or I could be eating (scare)crow.
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  38. #38
    LadyFlynt is offline. Inactive User
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    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyFlynt View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by a mere housewife View Post
    Colleen, we actually did used to have a giant penguin he got me on one of our anniversaries (name of Sanballat) but we gave it to a little girl when we went to Mexico :-)
    Oh that is so cool! Have pictures to post in God's Creation forum?
    I ought to have clarified that it was a giant stuffed penguin. But if you think that it would be appreciated I can post a picture of it in the God's Creation forum?
    Sure
    JC - PCA - PA...homesick for SC
    A we n' de Ya, ho; I mak sikker; Deus juvat

    Indicabo tibi o homo quid sit bonum, et quid Dominus requirat a te: Utique facere iudicium, et diligere, misericordiam, et sollicitum ambulare cum Deo tuo. Michaeas 6:8

    "Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

  39. #39
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    http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...ct_id=10153819
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  40. #40
    a mere housewife's Avatar
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    (a rare use for me of the laughing smiley)

    My thanks are still not reloaded but all those posts were very useful; thank you.
    Heidi
    Steger, IL

    'I cannot live like Jesus, example though he be
    For he was strong and selfless, and I am tied to me.
    But I have asked my Jesus to live his life in me . . .
    Behold his warm, his tangible, his dear humanity.'
    -Betty Stam

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