Thread: Teaching about the 7th commandment to Children

Moderators, please move to the appropriate forum if this is not the appropriate forum.

Currently I am subbing (along with another person in my Church) for the 1st - 3rd grade Sunday School class. Tomorrows lesson covers the 7th commandment and the story in the Sunday School literature is Joseph and Mrs. Potiphar. The teachers guide is mindful of the audience in laying out the lesson but still I feel uncomfortable talking about (especially since I do not have children of my own) adultry to other peoples children. Should I feel this way? Is there any advice anyone can give on how to approach this or maybe an alternative to Genesis 39 that can illustrate the same thing?

thanks in advance

Ok, I'll shoot.

A lot of people are reticent because they know what NEEDS to be said, but they're squeamish about saying it in that venue and to that audience. All that talk about it being the parents' job and all that jazz. Unfortunately, having been a youth pastor, I can't tell you how often - almost a cliche really - the parents would totally pass the buck to the church. I remember wanting to shake some of these parents because they flatly refused to talk about these things with their kids saying that "this is why we pay you." (!) It is almost axiomatic that in American evangelical churches parents treat the church like daycare or public school: we drop them off and you keep them safe for us and perhaps teach them something while you have them. Of course, I'm "sure" that Reformed churches are entirely different.

But the truth is, you'd be mortified if you learned what kids of even that tender age are being exposed to via their peers.

I do not think it prudent or proper to go into all the "gory details," but I do think it is important to stress the bottom line that adultery is doing something that should only be done with your spouse with someone who is not your spouse. I'd perhaps use some mild examples of stuff they might be seeing in their schools: perhaps hand-holding, hugging, kissing, etc.

You can discuss integrity. Joseph did what was right regardless of who was watching, or the consequences.

I have taught it to 5-7 year old boys several times. I placed the emphasis on faithfulness, one man, one woman, the positive of faithful marriage.

To church children it can be fairly easy - but in an evangelistic outreach sunday school, (my setting) it can be very hard indeed - because I suppose out of 20 boys in front of me on any given Sunday, at least half didn't have dads, and of the half that did, half again didn't live with their 'real' Dad. And so on.

I am more concerned not with the 'oooh, we can't talk about carnal relations' side (because I think that is a given, totally unneccessary) but with the crushing of children whose families are not ordered by God's standards.

My method of dealing with it was to challenge my boys to want to grow up to be godly men, so applying God's Word to THEM and not to their family circumstances.

Just a few thoughts. Would have more but its late here and just got back from holiday!

Pretty much echoing what has been said here. My wife and I were in a similar situation Chris. We also do not have any children. Our 3rd graders were going through the Ten Commandments and naturally the 7th one was a delicate topic. We found that stressing the importance of marriage (especially when the media today can quickly expose divorces), ended up being a better lesson.

Praying God will richly bless you and your class and give way to some good discussion/questions.

We had a situation where this came up once years ago. We were going through G.I. Williamson's book on the WC. I talked to the girls about modesty in dress and in behavior, and Bill talked to the boys about the fruit of the spirit of self-control in a very general way:

Children need to be admonished that the earlier they learn to resist temptation in any of their appetites, the easier it will be to do so as adults. Bill told the boys that right now, just as they see things they want and can't have, there will be other things that one day they will see and can't have. Learn contentment now.

What helped me was to flesh out the commandment in not just its negative sanctions - thou shalt not... etc, but its positive flipside - to be modest, to honor marriage. Sexuality doesn't need to come up at all, since the commandment is so broad - they all hinge on the first, after all! Children can be taught to do or make simple, nice things for mom and dad's anniversary, to remember other adult friends' anniversaries as well with a homemade card, crafts, projects, etc., to pay attention to the preachers' words at weddings, to tell a man they are speaking to, "Mr. 'Jones', you have a lovely wife", etc. They can be reminded that the adults they live with aren't just "mom and dad" but a family which God has put together to show the relationship of Christ to His Church, instituted in the garden at creation.

I hope this helps.