I am hoping that I can get some Godly advice concerning an issue with my family.

My wife and son formerly were active members in an Independent Christian Church (strongly Arminian / legalistic / emergent)... a church that requires baptism by immersion to be saved. The missiology and soteriology are strongly Arminian and emergent in nature. Obviously, we disagree with just about everything they say and teach.

The problem is that both of my sisters and my brother (all of whom I was very close with and still see on a regular basis) are members there - they and their family. We have parted ways doctrinaly, and we have split our family apart. Even the unbelievers in our family know about it, and do not understand. We have to be able to get along because we all work together in a family-owned business. My questions is this... "How can we live together (in harmony) as Christian brothers and sisters when there is such dramatic differences between everything we believe???"

Thanks for any help you can offer,

__________________
Matt Johnson
member, [URL="http://www.fepcb.org/"]FAITH Evangelical Presbyterian Church[/URL] Brooksville, FL
[URL="http://www.sixdayz.com/"]SIXDAYZ.com[/URL]

"Best-of-all-possible-worlds"
God governs the course of history so that, in the long run, His glory will be more fully displayed and His people more fully satisfied than would have been the case in any other world. - John Piper

There are a bunch of us on the board who can relate to what you're going through and for similar reasons.

First you need to become on expert in the rules of engagement as far as you are concerned. Here they are from Romans 12:

Then, in an ever so winsome manner, ask those who you have 'troubled' just why they are troubled. If they don't agree with your doctrine or convictions, then gently ask them to show you from the Bible that you are wrong. Let them know that your understanding of scripture is not controlled by your doctrinal slant but that it's scripture that has lead to the confessional summary that you have subscribed to. Show them the confession and ask, where would you disagree.

You need to avoid the appearance of personality conflict and clashing opinions and make it a mutual seeking for Biblical truth.

That's a start anyway.

Welcome to the PB brother Matt.

__________________
Bob Vigneault (Bawb Vēēn-yo)
I just know there's got to be a pony in here somewhere!

The Heartbeat of Heaven (blog) MySpace (Music), MySpace (Personal)
Member of Christ Presbyterian Church, Janesville, WI OPC www.christ-opc.org

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Thanks. There's no doubt that I need to be more humble... and learning how to sincerely bless those who persecute seems like an impossibility this side of perfection.

Looking at the Bible is really not an option... we've done that before, and all it does is start quarrels.

I do have a lot of work... It's hard because even though they're so far from the truth, Jesus remains a focal point in their lives. Likewise, the Lord is the center of my life too... so, should we just not talk about God, church, etc... should we simply limit ourselves to small talk? That would make me feel unauthentic, I think... ???

__________________
Matt Johnson
member, [URL="http://www.fepcb.org/"]FAITH Evangelical Presbyterian Church[/URL] Brooksville, FL
[URL="http://www.sixdayz.com/"]SIXDAYZ.com[/URL]

"Best-of-all-possible-worlds"
God governs the course of history so that, in the long run, His glory will be more fully displayed and His people more fully satisfied than would have been the case in any other world. - John Piper

Matt, you may have to come up with the literal definition of the "working relationship." Certainly if your kin begin to bring up church issues, you should reply but you will probably need to be the one to stop said discussions before they degenerate.

Rather than argue/debate the doctrinal differences, one tack may be to challenge their catholicity (little c)... and live out yours. Treat them as Christian brethen, even if (when?) they do not reciprocate. When the occasion occurs, ask point blank (if you haven't already) whether they consider you still a Christian brother. If so, let the debates end. If not, point out their sectarianism.

__________________
BJ Mora
Grace OPC, Modesto, CA
Reformed & Presbyterian Churches & Denominations in North America

I can relate somewhat to you dear brother. All you can do is show kindness to them and pray for them. Remember, our Lord warned of this very thing:

Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household.
Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me

__________________
1689 Baptist Confession

Psa 55:16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.
Psa 55:17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.
James Farley, Wilderness Road Baptist Assembly.
Husband of Melissa and father of Ann.
www.wildernessroadbaptist.org

Sorry, but that's ultimately all you have. I know the battle well. It becomes the battle of the dreaded "interpretation"

The use of the reason of the Scriptures is effective on both parties IITim 3:16,17.

Bless you in your efforts, brother...and WELCOME!

__________________
Donald P. Grubb
theol46@embarqmail.com

Berean Baptist Church, Mansfield, OH
Mansfield, OH

John 6:63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing.
The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

I know how you feel. My wife's first cousin is a Campbellite pastor and, though we get along ok, we lock horns alot re/ interpretation of Scripture.

__________________
Donald Jacobs
Marysville. WA
Cascade Church (CRCNA)

Cum vero infirmor tunc potens sum.

SIXDAYZ;


You live together in harmony with your love for Christ..and remember that you are always a witness to those in your household who are not believers..

Pray before you go to these family gatherings, and if they desire to talk doctrine, then ask that before you do so that you pray together, asking God to open your hearts to hear HIS TRUTH, then open HIS WORD and share what HE says..

If you notice yourself getting aggitated with them because they are not hearing YOU, remind yourself it is the Holy Spirit that does the teaching and all you are doing is watering the lawn...the rest is up to Him to work and bring to understanding or not..

And it's not just about the believers in your family hearing the truth, it is also about the Non-Believers in your family being presented the truth..and it may not be those who are already in the faith who need to be brought to a deeper understanding right now...it could be God working in the hearts of those who have not yet believed, using these disagreements to bring them to Himself..

Remember you said they are hearing and don't understand, how does God clear confusion? By shining the light in on it..and plowing the field of their hearts..so if you get aggitated, will they want to come to you and ask you questions about why you believe what you do?? Or will they be hesitant to do so, believing you will also get aggitated with them for asking?

__________________
Bobbi Clark
Covenant Member
Pinewood Pres. (PCA) Middleburg

When I kept Silent, My bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. Psalm 32:3