Thread: Dealing with Santa

For those who have or had little ones and didn't "do" the traditional Santa Claus thing (i.e. telling the kids that Santa is real and all the rest), could you share how you explained this to your kids. Do you ban all things Santa, or do you talk about it as a game? How do you handle your kids interacting with kids who believe Santa is really real? Dh and I would appreciate any advice, thanks!

You could have them watch this video.



I found it cute.

Hold on just a second... Santa isn't real?

I've always told my daughter that I don't believe in Santa and don't think he exists. She didn't believe me on this point, but I wasn't going to be put in a position of lying to her.

I'm sure others here have been much more diligent in their teaching, and would certainly not advocate what I have done as being adequate.

It's actually easier for the kids to believe in Santa. Then, have a neighbor dress up as him and make a great commotion one early Christmas morning. Have dad holding a baseball bat over Santa as he lies motionless on the floor. Dad should stomp around and yell a few times, and then have mom call the kids to see what's going on since it must be something exciting like a new dog. Oh no! It wasn't a dog! DADDY KILLED SANTA! Then dad drags the limp body out of the house and the parents sit down with the children and explain that they must never, ever, EVER mention Santa again.

And they won't. Until they are 33 and seek counseling. Problem solved.

We told our kids the truth, plain and simple. They took it all in stride, but were always confused as to why some kid's parents would want to lie to them.

They did "spill the beans" to a few of their friends but we explained to the parents involved that we do not lie to our children and do not expect them to lie. We never had anyone get really upset -- but a couple did insist to their children that our kids were just "confused."

Originally Posted by AThornquist

It's actually easier for the kids to believe in Santa. Then, have a neighbor dress up as him and make a great commotion one early Christmas morning. Have dad holding a baseball bat over Santa as he lies motionless on the floor. Dad should stomp around and yell a few times, and then have mom call the kids to see what's going on since it must be something exciting like a new dog. Oh no! It wasn't a dog! DADDY KILLED SANTA! Then dad drags the limp body out of the house and the parents sit down with the children and explain that they must never, ever, EVER mention Santa again.

And they won't. Until they are 33 and seek counseling. Problem solved.

Explain that he is just like a cartoon, bugs bunny, it is fake and for some people it is fun, but it is a lie, hoax.

Be as honest as possible and don't lie to your child.

Well tell them about the REAL Santa

St. Nicholaus one of the bishops that participated in the niceancounsil and during that counsil knocked one of the other bishops out cold, during a debate because the other bishop said that Jesus was not fully God.
This made Santa so angry, because as he said, how can you say this and thus claim all our brothers have died in vain.
So he jumped from his seat, crossed the floor entered the other side and knocked the guy cold for saying Jesus was not fully God.

Later he became the patron saint for sailors and children, and that is how the myth of santa started, because he gave money and gifts to children in the town where he was a bishop.

The above is my favorite santa story, and not only that, this one is true!
So tell them that!
I bet they will like that santa better.

Originally Posted by PresbyDane

Well tell them about the REAL Santa

St. Nicholaus one of the bishops that participated in the niceancounsil and during that counsil knocked one of the other bishops out cold, during a debate because the other bishop said that Jesus was not fully God.
This made Santa so angry, because as he said, how can you say this and thus claim all our brothers have died in vain.
So he jumped from his seat, crossed the floor entered the other side and knocked the guy cold for saying Jesus was not fully God.

Wow, really?

When we adopted our boys, they were 5 1/2. When Christmas rolled around a few months later, we didn't bring up Santa until they asked. We told them Santa wasn't real and he was for people who didn't believe in Jesus. They shared that with several other kids along with the Gospel when the opportunities arose, but we never got any complaints. The sad part is that many Christians continue to do the "Santa thing". As the "Santa" kids grow up, might they think that Jesus is another fairy tale their parents told them about as Santa was?

Way I heard the story, St. Nick knocked out Arius himself.

Originally Posted by AThornquist

Originally Posted by PresbyDane

Well tell them about the REAL Santa

St. Nicholaus one of the bishops that participated in the niceancounsil and during that counsil knocked one of the other bishops out cold, during a debate because the other bishop said that Jesus was not fully God.
This made Santa so angry, because as he said, how can you say this and thus claim all our brothers have died in vain.
So he jumped from his seat, crossed the floor entered the other side and knocked the guy cold for saying Jesus was not fully God.

Wow, really?

Yes! Really.

Originally Posted by PresbyDane

Originally Posted by AThornquist

Originally Posted by PresbyDane

Well tell them about the REAL Santa

St. Nicholaus one of the bishops that participated in the niceancounsil and during that counsil knocked one of the other bishops out cold, during a debate because the other bishop said that Jesus was not fully God.
This made Santa so angry, because as he said, how can you say this and thus claim all our brothers have died in vain.
So he jumped from his seat, crossed the floor entered the other side and knocked the guy cold for saying Jesus was not fully God.

Wow, really?

Yes! Really.

Whoa. That is too cool

Originally Posted by MMasztal

As the "Santa" kids grow up, might they think that Jesus is another fairy tale their parents told them about as Santa was?

This is exactly what happened with a friend of mine from High School. His testimony was that if Santa and the Easter Bunny are lies then so must be God. He would never listen to any attempts I ever made to share the Gospel with him. I made up my mind back then that I would never lie to my children about Santa or anything else.

Do you tell them not to tell other children? So far we've just told our almost 5 year old just not to bring it up, that some parents play the "Santa game" and some kids think that Santa is really real, but that we don't play that game because it distracts us from Jesus.

We've talked a little about the St. Nicholas legend (former RC here, we always put our shoes outside our classrooms around this time in Dec to get a candy cane stuck in them on St. Nick's feast day in Catholic school).

I guess I'm looking for specific practicalities - like what do you teach your child to say to the well meaning people at the store who say to your kids "are you excited about Santa?" That sort of thing. I don't want her to come off as some little holier-than-thou, especially to a non-believer.

We told them some families like to pretend Santa is real, and many kids even believe it, but he's actually make believe. Our first priority was not to lie to them. What would they think about the Bible stories we tell if they found we lied about Santa?

We also tried to avoid being disparaging of people who do pretend Santa is real. We told our kids it isn't nice to ruin those people's fun.

Finally, we told them the true story of St. Nicholas. But this led to my daughter, when she was about three, explaining to a friend that Santa was dead. Not a popular move.

I talk about the real story of St Nick & how the ledgends grew up around him. Stockings by the fire gold foil coins, Santa on the roof, the whole story.

I have found that kids love these stories, don't feel "lied to".

Santa is not a myth. He was a real historical figure that is the source of many legends. These stories are a valuable part of our history & culture. Properly told they connect us to our past & can be a teaching tool.

Originally Posted by Southern Presbyterian

Originally Posted by MMasztal

As the "Santa" kids grow up, might they think that Jesus is another fairy tale their parents told them about as Santa was?

This is exactly what happened with a friend of mine from High School. His testimony was that if Santa and the Easter Bunny are lies then so must be God. He would never listen to any attempts I ever made to share the Gospel with him. I made up my mind back then that I would never lie to my children about Santa or anything else.

obviously I do not know your friend or any of his background, but am I the only one who finds his argument ridiculous? No kids of my own yet, but I determined a loooong time ago that I would never feed them the lie of santa. I determined not to do the whole santa thing because I refuse to sin and lie to my kids, but I never really thought someone would come to the conclusion, "oh santa isn't real, so God must not be".

I agree, Andrew. It sounds like a lame excuse from a hardened heart.

My daughter asked me last year about Santa Claus. She was in kindergarten. I told her about the real Santa Claus, St. Nicholas. Our first public gathering was the following thanksgiving (last year). She told her cousins that Santa was "dead". I have told her not to tell other kids who "believe" in Santa Claus, but we are still working on that. She is a little confused why other kids believe. This is our second year with her understanding of "the truth": easter bunny, Santa, tooth fairy - not real; Jesus - real. I think things are setting in. I am just working it out as you are. I was in third grade when I found out there was no Easter bunny! Just be honest with your kids.

Name me any excuse that isn't lame.

You do know the definition of an excuse, don't you?

An excuse is the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie.

Still, I don't want to provide any "skins" for the excuse makers to "stuff". That's all I'm saying.

And, unfortunately back in High School I was not so mature and sophisticated in my thinking as to come to my decision to not lie to my future children based solely on Biblical principles. After all, I was a teenage independent fundy super broad evangelical back in those days.

Anyone have any links to how the legends grew around St. Nick?

Originally Posted by Reformed Thomist

Hold on just a second... Santa isn't real?

Of course he's real. Don't listen to them.

I actually don't really have a problem with the Santa myth - I view it the same way as I view the tooth fairy. It does seem to take on a life of its own though, so I rather doubt that I would do it with my children. I also think its almost more special for kids to receive gifts from parents and other family members than from this mythical man that they've never interacted with.

I like the way my parents handled it. They told us that Santa was a game that some parents played with their children for fun. They said that we didn't play the game, but that we shouldn't ruin other people's fun by spoiling the surprise of Santa - that it was the parents' job to tell their children, not ours. I would probably do the same with my children. I find it pretty irritating, actually, when self-righteous 5 year olds are marching up to their peers and disabusing them of their belief in Santa...

I have told this story a few times on the PB but will cut and paste it again. It still cracks me up.

Before I was married I purposed in my heart to never lie to kids about St. Nicholaus. My reasoning was if I told them a lie about Santa who is to say that I am not lying about Jesus. So when I started having children I told them the truth. St. Nick was dead but that he lived in heaven with Jesus. I told them about the fables and myths and said it was wrong to make Santa Claus have characteristics that only God has.

Well, one Christmas we were in a department store and the cashier asked my two boys (probably around 6years old) if they were good and if Santa was going to come to their house. To which my oldest looked at her and said, "No, Santa is dead." You should have seen the look of horror on that ladies face. It was great. I then explained to her that we believe that the real St. Nick is alive in heaven with Jesus because Jesus died for the Bishops' sin, and that we wanted our son's to know that their parents always told them the truth. They could trust us when we said Jesus was real.

It is a great witness.

Originally Posted by PuritanCovenanter

Before I was married I purposed in my heart to never lie to kids about St. Nicholaus. My reasoning was if I told them a lie about Santa who is to say that I am not lying about Jesus. So when I started having children I told them the truth. St. Nick was dead but that he lived in heaven with Jesus. I told them about the fables and myths and said it was wrong to make Santa Claus have characteristics that only God has.

Well, one Christmas we were in a department store and the cashier asked my two boys (probably around 6years old) if they were good and if Santa was going to come to their house. To which my oldest looked at her and said, "No, Santa is dead." You should have seen the look of horror on that ladies face. It was great. I then explained to her that we believe that the real St. Nick is alive in heaven with Jesus because Jesus died for the Bishops' sin, and that we wanted our son's to know that their parents always told them the truth. They could trust us when we said Jesus was real.

I LOVE it.

Originally Posted by Montanablue

I find it pretty irritating, actually, when self-righteous 5 year olds are marching up to their peers and disabusing them of their belief in Santa...

I'm perplexed by your attitude about this matter Montanablue.

I think its glorious when a child is taught well enough to share the truth with their friends; makes for good future habit. Should they do so snidely or without compassion? Of course not. But we dont tell our kids that other parents like to play the self-righteous game; where they tell their kids they are good little kids, and have no concern in the world besides worldly attainment; and that we shouldnt rain on their parade...do we? I respect those who just dont want their kids to expose the falsehood of santa clause; but to critisize kids who are enlightened enough to know the real significance of this time of year, because they maybe are not mature enough to express it as they should, seems harsh and unreasonable.

Telling kids the real story of St. Nicholas, and more importantly, that the substance of this festive time is the Gospel narrative, seems much more Christian than does the mythical, Christ-less approach so many "Christians" take today. And I wouldnt worry too much about the kids telling others of the truth either. Can it be embarassing? Sure it can. So is unveiling the deception of sin. I think its ok to ask your kids to politely avoid referencing the non-existence of today's "Santa"; but its also good to teach them how best to communicate reality, in a way that centers upon Jesus.

I lived in a apartment building growing up most of my life. Also, my parents put gifts under the tree before Christmas (they had too, no place to hide gifts, and hiding wrapped gifts is dumb). I figured things out pretty quickly. Actually, I can't ever remember a time where I thought Santa was real. I just thought he was a cool fictional character who had catchy music. My parents didn't ever really say Santa wasn't real (though I think they said it once or twice in passing) - they just set things up so it was obvious that he wasn't.

Santa's works-based righteousness is insidious. And I actually don't mean this sarcastically. If only good little boys and girls get presents from Santa and somehow every little boy and girl who has parents with at least a little money gets presents, that means we are teaching children that they are "good" even while they sin. How then can we be surprised when they grow up and as adults believe this exact same thing? "Well yeah I've made mistakes but that doesn't make me a bad person! God should still give me ___________ ."

Well-stated, Andrew. You stated some of my greatest concerns with teaching and encouraging children about Santa, given this works-righteousness issue.

Originally Posted by AThornquist

Santa's works-based righteousness is insidious. And I actually don't mean this sarcastically. If only good little boys and girls get presents from Santa and somehow every little boy and girl who has parents with at least a little money gets presents, that means we are teaching children that they are "good" even while they sin. How then can we be surprised when they grow up and as adults believe this exact same thing? "Well yeah I've made mistakes but that doesn't make me a bad person! God should still give me ___________ ."

Santa also promotes greed like you wouldn't believe, not only in the kids (I can ask for everything, after all, Santa just makes it) but also in the parents (i have to buy ___ for my kids or they will be disappointed in Santa).
There is a lady at my church who has been posting on FB how she has been going around to every store in town, waiting in lines, and running through aisles trying to find some ridiculous toy because "it will make her son soooo happy".

We did our Sinterklaas celebration yesterday. This year we did not read the story, but usually we do (leaving out the part about Swart Piet, a Moor who takes bad children off to Spain). As others have mentioned, the story is of the 'real' Saint Nick. Then we open presents, eat oliebollen (not this year - no time, and smell of cooking oil throughout the house would proabably have pregnant and smell-sensitive wifey running to the bathroom) and basically sit around the wood stove chatting. Very pleasant, and leaves the 25th as a purely religious holiday, no gifts, just church.

Thanks for the tips - Kevin, any links about Sinterklass? Also if anyone has found especially good St. Nicholas books I would appreciate a recommendation.

Just to clarify, I wasn't intending to start a debate on whether one should or not participate in the Santa thing. Its been decided for us, like some of you, long before we had kids. Now its just working it out in practice (always easier in theory than in practice!)

We have relatives who are very into Santa that are coming to celebrate Christmas. They know where we are, and they (being RC) are cool with it in theory, but still throw in a lot of Santa speak around my kids, so in a sense they know what they're missing. Its not like I can just pretend this aspect of the holiday doesn't exist. Dh and I are wondering whether to do "stockings" with little presents (just making clear that the presents are from mom and dad, just remembering what St. Nick did in his efforts to serve God) or just skip it altogether, even around others doing it.

I'd really appreciate insight from those who have found good solutions for situations like this. Thanks!

We have relatives who are very into Santa that are coming to celebrate Christmas. They know where we are, and they (being RC) are cool with it in theory, but still throw in a lot of Santa speak around my kids, so in a sense they know what they're missing. Its not like I can just pretend this aspect of the holiday doesn't exist. Dh and I are wondering whether to do "stockings" with little presents (just making clear that the presents are from mom and dad, just remembering what St. Nick did in his efforts to serve God) or just skip it altogether, even around others doing it.

We had stockings as children, and my parents did just that - they had little presents in them, but the gifts were from Mom and Dad. I still get a stocking and I'm 24!

Originally Posted by Jack K

We told them some families like to pretend Santa is real, and many kids even believe it, but he's actually make believe. Our first priority was not to lie to them. What would they think about the Bible stories we tell if they found we lied about Santa?

We also tried to avoid being disparaging of people who do pretend Santa is real. We told our kids it isn't nice to ruin those people's fun.

Finally, we told them the true story of St. Nicholas. But this led to my daughter, when she was about three, explaining to a friend that Santa was dead. Not a popular move.

That's pretty much how we handled it.

Of course, one time my son told a store cashier that the mythological version of Santa was "a lie from the pit of hell". He shares that bent for diplomacy with his Dad.

Originally Posted by CatherineL

Do you tell them not to tell other children? So far we've just told our almost 5 year old just not to bring it up, that some parents play the "Santa game" and some kids think that Santa is really real, but that we don't play that game because it distracts us from Jesus.

We've talked a little about the St. Nicholas legend (former RC here, we always put our shoes outside our classrooms around this time in Dec to get a candy cane stuck in them on St. Nick's feast day in Catholic school).

I guess I'm looking for specific practicalities - like what do you teach your child to say to the well meaning people at the store who say to your kids "are you excited about Santa?" That sort of thing. I don't want her to come off as some little holier-than-thou, especially to a non-believer.

No, I don't think you should encourage them to hold their beliefs secretly. This may be their first experience of "evangelism". Whatever we, as Christians, teach our children, we should teach them to share it boldly with their friends and anyone who asks.

My mom always told us when we were little that St. Nick was a real person who used to give money and toys to children, that he has been dead for a long time, and that now many people salute his legacy by dressing up or giving gifts at Christmas. She followed up by saying that we celebrate Christmas as observation of the birth of Jesus, and that we give gifts because we love each other and are financially able observe the tradition of doing so. We were told that the only Santa in our home was Mommy and Daddy, and that Jesus gave us the gift of life even though mom and dad gave toys.

I was never confused. I never believed in Santa. And to other children I shared my beliefs with, most of them didn't believe me anyway. With my children, it has been more of a challenge. They believe Santa is real no matter what I tell them. And yes, sometimes there are gifts under the tree from Santa. Maybe that's wrong?

Dealing with Santa is easy: cancel Christmas - in the church and in the home. At that point there will be no room for syncretism from this issue because Santa Claus will cease to exist.

We just told our children he wasn't real and never really had to explain past that.

Originally Posted by Poimen

Dealing with Santa is easy: cancel Christmas - in the church and in the home. At that point there will be no room for syncretism from this issue because Santa Claus will cease to exist.

I tend to agree. My previous OPC churches had no special service for Christmas or Easter. My current church goes the whole 9 yards. . I can go along with the tradition of celebrating the birth of our Savior, but not to the point of making it a religious holiday.