Any thoughts on the question of whether Reformed paedobaptists should court or marry Reformed credobaptists? (I view this as more of a question regarding courtship or marriage, rather than concerning baptism; that's why I put it in this forum.)

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Sean P.M. McDonald
Communicant Member of Springs Reformed Church (RPCNA), Colorado Springs, CO
Infantryman, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, NY (Deployed to Iraq)
Engaged to Laura A. Doman of Grand Rapids, MI
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"Lex praescribit, evangelium inscribit." (The law prescribes, the gospel inscribes.)

Haha

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Michael Daniels
Reformed, RPCNA
Denton, Maryland

[i][b]As For Me And My House, We Will Serve The Lord[/i][/b]

[SIZE="1"][I][FONT="Century Gothic"]Unum Deum in Trinitate: Pater, Filius, et Spiritus Sanctus [RIGHT]Sola scriptura - Sola gratia - Sola fide - Solus Christus - Soli Deo gloria - Solum psalterium - Lex talionis[/RIGHT][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]

Just my :

Ultimately, the woman -whatever she may be- must submit to her husband's beliefs in such a matter, and follow him accordingly. If she cannot do that/work through that in educating and counsel, there should be no courtship.

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Josh Hicks, Chloë's Daddy
Member of TRBC, Attending CCRPC. My Blog
The Puritan Pub (Team Blog)
Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

I would not think this would fall under the heading of "unequally yolked". I certainly, when I get to the place where I can wed and give pre-marital counseling, would marry a couple with one credo and one paedo member as long as we talked through the issue and made sure that it was not a factor that would cause division later.

(I of course would try and counsel the credo member of the union as to his/her position)

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Benjamin P. Glaser
Pittsburgh, PA
Fairmount ARP Church, Sewickley, PA
Candidate Under Care Pittsburgh Theological Seminary & Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary

“If the Church could be aroused to a deeper sense of the glory that awaits her, she would enter with a warmer spirit into the struggles that are before her.”-- J.H. Thornwell

Well, you'll have to discuss with her whether whichever one of you is the pedobaptist wants to baptize your children after marriage or whichever one of you is the credobaptist views that as heresy. =p

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Will Shin
Rockville, MD

One thing I've definitely noticed over the years by interacting with Presbyterianish folk is that there are quite a few variations on a paedobaptist theme, so to speak.

If the paedobaptist in question is one of the "baptism does so save, it says so right there in 1 Peter 3:21", then trying to pair off with a credobaptist is a serious mistake.

If, however, the paedobaptist thinks of baptism more as placing someone within the parameters of the visible church, then there's more hope that the two can either peacefully coexist, or - playing the odds of the way this tends to go - the credobaptist will move over to the paedobaptist's POV.

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Anne Ivy
Christ Chapel Bible Church
Fort Worth, Texas

Married to Don, mother of six, grandmother to an ever-increasing brood.

The Ivy Vine (my blog)

I agree with Michael

Here's why: If God should bless a marriage with children, there has to be a "united front" when it comes to raising the children. The issue of paedo vs. credo is an argument waiting to happen, especially if one of the two is firmly planted in their beliefs. It's a possible source of division that can cause trouble down the road.

What I have found in marriage is that when it comes to differences in raising children, the most ridiculous things can become a source of irriation. If you start off with a division as big as paedo-credo, you're asking for trouble. My

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J Baldwin
Keowee Presbyterian Church, PCA
Pickens, SC
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27

Check Out My Blog: http://reflectjoy.blogspot.com/

Interesting. I agree with Backwoods Pres that it doesn't fall under unequally yoked, but I also agree with JBaldwin that it is a conflict waiting to happen, unless the wife understands the issue and agree beforehand that she will submit to her husband on the issue. I guess if it's something both are very passionate about and the the wife isn't willing to submit, then I don't see a reason to continue courtship, knowing that it will inevitably lead to major, potentially unresolvable contention.

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Mason
Member, Redeemer Presbyterian Church (PCA)
New York, NY

"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool." - Isaiah 1:18

As a credo, I have no problem courting or marrying a paedo....

The children will probably just have to be baptized twice

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Nikki Edmond
Berean Christian Assembly (Reformed Baptist)
Tucson, AZ
HaveATulip Chat Room for Reformed Believers
Principle and Practice Blog
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

But to the paedo husband, and the Reformed Paedos everywhere, that would be considered as blasphemous and a denial of their children's baptism (i.e. the original).

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Josh Hicks, Chloë's Daddy
Member of TRBC, Attending CCRPC. My Blog
The Puritan Pub (Team Blog)
Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

I was kidding hence the smirk.

On a serious note, I'm not sure, though I think I could probably submit to a paedo husband's stance on that issue. However, what if the children once adults wanted to be baptized again because they did not come to accept the position of paedo baptism? I've seen many adults do this, especially those who left the church and came back. Oh and why would it be blasphemy?

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Nikki Edmond
Berean Christian Assembly (Reformed Baptist)
Tucson, AZ
HaveATulip Chat Room for Reformed Believers
Principle and Practice Blog
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Ahh...my bad.
As long as they are under the headship of their Father, and according to the Father's paedo position, and the family's Paedo Church membership, it ought not be allowed.
I'll let the seasoned Paedos chime in on this, but, basically it boils down to the denial of what the infant's baptism objectively symbolizes. However, I don't want to misrepresent what either side may respectively hold, so at this time I will defer to those much smarter and greater than myself.

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Josh Hicks, Chloë's Daddy
Member of TRBC, Attending CCRPC. My Blog
The Puritan Pub (Team Blog)
Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

The only absolute qualification in courtship and marriage is that the other person is a Christian. Other things are a matter of prudence. However, if a woman is strongly paedo-baptist, then it is unwise of her to marry a man who is definitely Baptist, as she will have to submit to her husband's decision as to whether or not the children are to be baptised. But even in this case, we cannot forbid her from marrying the man if her father permits her.

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Daniel Ritchie
Saintfield, Northern Ireland - Queen's University, Belfast:History/Politics
Member of Dromara Reformed Presbyterian Church of Ireland (Covenanter)

But if we can't biblically object to their marriage, how could her father? In other words, if we all know the facts, and there is nothing biblically prohibiting the two from marrying, neither we nor the father can ultimately (and legitimately) forbid the marriage, right? Sorry for this question.

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Josh Hicks, Chloë's Daddy
Member of TRBC, Attending CCRPC. My Blog
The Puritan Pub (Team Blog)
Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Just for the record, before I met my husband, I dated a wonderful Christian man, and we had such a disagreement. We met in a reformed Baptist church, but I was studying paedo baptism at the time. It wasn't too long before I made the switch, and he couldn't agree. I knew I wasn't going to change my mind, so we broke it off.

Though I highly respect the views of my credo baptist brothers and sisters, if I had married (and we were discussing it seroiusly) I would have always felt like I was denying my convictions, and I'm sure it would have caused trouble later on.

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J Baldwin
Keowee Presbyterian Church, PCA
Pickens, SC
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27

Check Out My Blog: http://reflectjoy.blogspot.com/

I suppose what I mean is that her church's elders could not discipline her for marrying a Baptist, as it is the father's responsibility to decide whether or not such an marriage is wise and prudent. IMHO, it is a sphere sovereignty issue, which the church has got no business to get involved in. Hope that helps.

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Daniel Ritchie
Saintfield, Northern Ireland - Queen's University, Belfast:History/Politics
Member of Dromara Reformed Presbyterian Church of Ireland (Covenanter)

Joshua, it may interest you to know that Mark Chanksi has a couple of good chapters on the father's role in courtship and giving in marriage in his book Manly Dominion. It wont be that long before boys are wanting to court your own daughter, so be prepared.

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Daniel Ritchie
Saintfield, Northern Ireland - Queen's University, Belfast:History/Politics
Member of Dromara Reformed Presbyterian Church of Ireland (Covenanter)

Biblically, the father is the head of the daughter until she is given in marriage, and if he sees this issue leading to future irreconcilable trouble in the marriage (after due consideration) I believe he can biblically deny his blessing.

This would be a tough issue to weigh, as would be many others, and wise would be the couple who didn't weighing issues just because they would not be "unequally yoked".

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~James Helbert~, Wytheville, VA
Providence Reformed Presbyterian Church, RPCUS
TheBibleAlone.com / The Edinburgh Inn
"Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?” - Zechariah 3:2