Wants you to attempt to date/court a girl?


Theres just this one girl who keeps coming up in my conversations today and like it's been this entire day when I think about it. Just bombarded with her in conversations with other christians, my pastor when we were in the car, recommends I be with her without me mentioning it, when I came home tonight, a family member starts talking about her without me mentioning her...

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Lee Johnston
Church of Scotland (Presbyterian)
Paisley, Scotland
Ephesians 1:4-5
"In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will."

Hmmm.... could this be a case of "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you."

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Brian Withnell
Deacon, OPC
Leesburg, Virginia

You cannot train for war in the midst of a battle. Prepare before the battle starts; if the battle is long and hard, you will wish you had.

Don't worry about it. Just see what happens over the next few weeks.

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Ben Castaneda
member of Faith Presbyterian Church (PCA)
San Antonio, TX
MDiv student at WSC
Escondido, CA

"Not all prison bars are made from metal, And not all prisoners walk about in chains." -Lysander from Weatherby, Earl of Gloucester

...or maybe it's time to get out the marriage manual!...

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Timothy Johnson
First United Presbyterian of Moline
PCUSA (Yea, I know)
Theology/Philosophy Sunday School Teacher
Davenport, IA

With great difficulty, particularly if you strongly want to date/court the girl.

Provided the lady in question is biblically qualified to be a Christian wife, I think the decision is something for you and the lady to make as you get to know each other. One caveat: be particularly cautious in situations where one of the two of you does not want to pursue the relationship and the other has a "God told me that this is the one" attitude.

On the other hand, one strong indicator in my pre-marital situation was this: normally a quite selfish sort, I was surprised to find myself wanting to do things for the Orchid Lady - to a quite remarkable extent. If you find yourself enjoying serving the lady, that's a very good sign.

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In Christ's love and service

Mr. Tim Cunningham,
BMus. (Trombone Performance), University of Toronto
Dip. CS, Regent College, Vancouver
Member, First Baptist Church
Vancouver, BC
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"I once sat in darkness, and waited for the moon to rise.
I once sat in darkness, and waited for the sun to shine.
I once sat in darkness, when all the light I'd waited for was gone.
Then Jesus came, and now the only true light, ever, shines in me."
– John Deacon -

hmm thanks for the advice so far. I think the woman in question would qualify biblically(book of proverbs etc... ) having known her for 2 years. Shes in love with the Lord and is a youth leader in her church and her family whom i know well are all well saved and godly people to have fellowship with.

A very good question! Because I'm now also facing some dilemmas as well... now that I'm in college, I meet across many wonderful, attractive, unattached Christian girls. I'm not sure as to whom should I think of dating yet...

Any takers here?

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Tian Long (you can call me LTL)
Reformed Baptist
Singapore
"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble." - Psalm 46:1 (NKJV)

For His honor, glory and name!

[Off Topic Joke I heard in Church]

How many Church of Scotland men does it take to change a lightbulb?

They'll be no change in this church!

Well, just talk to her and see how it goes. If it is not God's will that anything happens, then of course nothing will happen.

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Steven Nemes
Phoenix, AZ

Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy must be answered - C.S. Lewis

Would it be wise to talk to her or her did first?

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Brian Vandenburg
Member of Westminster Presbyterian Church (PCA)
Vancouver, WA
"The authority of the Holy Scripture, for which it ought to be believed, and obeyed, depends not upon the testimony of any man, or Church; but wholly upon God (who is truth itself) the author thereof: and therefore it is to be received, because it is the Word of God."-Westminster Confession of Faith

Lee,

My simple answer: you don't. I'm sure you are seeking to be honorable in your actions, but it is unbiblical to try to find "God's blue print for your life". You don't try to find out God's "secret" (decretive, sovereign, etc.) will. God calls us to do what is moral, wise, and in accordance with our preferences. His moral will is laid out in his word, and guides our wisdom and preferences. There is no third "will" for my life I need to find out (like who I should marry).

I'd strongly encourage you to listen to Greg Koukl's "Decision Making and the Will of God" series (from the Stand to Reason website). It's relatively cheap ($10) and is downloadable. Here is the link: https://secure2.convio.net/str/site/...&store_id=1341

Hope this helps.

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Joshua F
Layman
Mountain View Community Church (Missionary Church Denomination)
Johnstown, CO

I would first determine if you are in fact interested in her and that she is somewhat interested in you.

After that you should really speak to her dad. Mention to her that you are thinking about talking to her dad about a potential courtship or wanting to get know her better. If she says no, then you you know not to proceed. But if she gives you the go a head get the long process started...

That's the way it is working out for me at least....

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Dewey D
Reformed Heritage Church (Independent at the moment)
San Fransicko, CA