Equipping Others to Help You

FenderPriest · #1 (**permalink**) 06-04-2008, 10:04 PM

In a discussion I had with my wife tonight, and an ongoing investigation of my own, I'm curious to know how you guys equip others to help you in your times of spiritual depression, or struggles with sin? You know (or should know) your own sinfulness best. So it seems only wise to equip those nearest you with the tools they might need to serve you when you are bleeding (if I can use the image). Do you let them know what ways of addressing your sin work best? Do you tell them what promises have met you most in the past? I'm not really sure were to go with this, so I'm interested in any input you have here. Let us be doctors to each others soul's!

Joshua · #2 (**permalink**) 06-04-2008, 10:08 PM

Ask them to pray for you, and don't circumvent the counsel of your Church elders.

VirginiaHuguenot · #3 (**permalink**) 06-04-2008, 10:45 PM

One of the means of grace that is so neglected today, from my own experience, it seems, is that of "godly conferences," per the Scottish Directory of Family Worship ("holy conferences," per the Westminster Directory of Public Worship). As iron sharpens iron, so believers ought to interact and encourage one another and, as James says, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed" James 5.16). Richard Greenham has this to say about it (A Profitable Treatise, Containing A Direction for the for the Reading and Understanding of the Holy Scriptures):

Quote:

Conference.

The next thing is conference. In natural things man standeth in need of help, the much more in spiritual things he standeth in need of others. And as iron sharpeneth iron: so one friend another, Prov 27:17. And as two eyes see more, two ears hear more and two hands can do more then one: so this is a special communion of saints, and God hath promised, that when two or three are gathered together in his name, that he will be present with them by his spirit, as he was corporally with his disciples going to Emmaus

Conference is either with

A. Ministers of God

B. Our equals

C. Or others

This rule must be kept, that conference with our equals must be of those things which we heard of our ministers, as it must be kept also in meditation, which is a conference with ourselves. We must for a time like babes hang at the mouths of the ministers, because we cannot run before we go: nay we cannot go without a leader. No man may presume to understand above that which is meet to understand, but to labor to understand according to the measure of sobriety, as God hath dealt to every one the measure of faith: and when they have laid the foundations, then build the walls and pillars. The Eunuch would not interpret the world without a guide, but he laid it up in his heart, as the virgin Mary did. For want of the true humility conference is slandered, because it is used after an evil manner, as before they be surely grounded in principal points of religion, to talk of other matters. Secondly, we must come in love without anger, envy, or desire of victory: therefore in conference we must use the preparation spoken of before: the want of which maketh much janglings and wranglings in company.

Many Puritans also thought it was good to encourage others by writing about their own experiences.

Peter Lewis (The Genius of Puritanism, pp. 85-86) says that Nathaniel Whiting, in Old Jacob's Altar Newly Repaired, argues that "it is the duty of God's people to record and relate their experiences of 'dangers, deliverances and duties' to each other's comfort and edification". Whiting says:

Quote:

I am much persuaded that if an experienced Christian would make a humble and faithful narrative of his own condition to a deserted saint, and tell him, 'Such has been my case: time was when the Lord hid his face from me, when the loving kindnesses of God were shut up in displeasure against me, when I had lost all communion with God, all sense of pardoning and accepting grace with God, when I could not pour forth my soul in prayer unto God, and when I had no incomes by way of comfort of God...but by the goodness of the Lord, the mist is broke up, the clouds are scattered, the face of God appears again, and I find joy and peace and comfort in my soul; yea, the beams of God's favour shine brighter, and the streams of consolation run on more fresh and freely than ever they did...' Is. 54:7-9. Oh sure these experiments as to desertion and as to consolation...would marvellously revive a drooping saint, and make his stooping heart glad. My reasons are these:

1. Because the methods of God in correcting and comforting his people are the same, their trials and their triumphs are alike; as 'face answers face in a glass', so the condition of one saint answers another...

2. Because these experiments gain much authority with us...1 John 1:3.

3. Because God will hereby set a greater mark of honour upon the saints, and make them with more affectionateness love one another when they find that eye hath need of hand, and the head of the foot, 1 Cor. 12:21, that they are mutually dependent upon and mutually serviceable one to another.

Fred Van Lieburg notes in Living for God: Eighteenth-Century Dutch Pietist Autobiography that Puritans were known for writing spiritual biographies to the edification of others. He gives as examples the biographies of Jacobus Koelman, Henry Walker's Spiritual Experience of Sundry Believers, Samuel Clarke's The Lives of Ten Eminent Divines, James Janeway's A Token for Children, Thomas White's A Little Book for Little Children, William Turner's A Compleat History of the most Remarkable Providences. Matthew Poole and Increase Mather had the same idea. Van Lieburg also quotes extensively from Wilhelmus a'Brakel's The Christian's Reasonable Service, Vol. 4, Chap. 81, "Concerning Experiences," in which a'Brakel commends the exercise of writing about one's experiences for the spiritual edification of others. A'Brakel says: "Experience is a godly exercise, consisting in a gathering of numerous noteworthy incidents for the purpose of using them to our benefit and that of others" (p. 45).

Pergamum · #4 (**permalink**) 06-05-2008, 04:01 AM

We say, " When the fever hits, lock up all the chocolate and throw away the key so I will not be tempted to be a glutton!"

Or the equivalent I guess for other sins.

We encourage each other. Some groups have "accountability groups" and weekly meetings with "Accountability Buddies" but I'm still not keen on these yet, but not yet opposed to them.

For internet stuff, AFO has a filter or a buddy check system so that your wife or friend can check your web browsing history to keep you honest.

FECA or other groups also provide Christian accountability in finances.

These all seem to be means to implement in order to encourage others to bless and watch out for us.

a mere housewife · #5 (**permalink**) 06-05-2008, 10:39 AM

I think some of this happens naturally in relationships, and with other Christians; Ruben and I talk (well, in this area I talk more than Ruben -

) about struggles; and it's natural also to tell him if I don't think a particular approach to a problem I have is working or if it seems something else might help more. It's natural with Christian friends to speak about various ways in which God has helped us, and to not keep silent about His deliverances any more than about various problems when we need prayer. All of this helps us to help each other, though I don't think there is a conscious aim to train each other in that. I think more often the conscious aim is to help one another, and it becomes natural in that environment to ask for prayer, etc., and to speak more freely about our own problems.

JBaldwin · #6 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008, 08:57 AM

Quote:

We encourage each other. Some groups have "accountability groups" and weekly meetings with "Accountability Buddies" but I'm still not keen on these yet, but not yet opposed to them.

I think the reason "accountability groups" sometimes turn into traps is that they too often become more like a gossip session or a time to focus on personal problems under the guise of Christian accountability.

What seems to have work best is small group prayer and Bible study under good leadership. When the focus is on prayer (with a short time to share needs and lots of time to pray) and Bible study, accountability tends to happen naturally, especially after a group has been together for awhile.