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Hospitality is intensely theological, is it not?



Is Your Church a Friendly Church? « Reformed Baptist Fellowship

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Pergamum


"If a commission by an earthly king is considered a honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?"
-- David Livingstone

I hope ours is!

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The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg
Blog
Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA, Portland, OR

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Amen! We represent a risen king to all who enter the doors.

A few years ago, I was working on a wildfire in south Georgia. Years before, I remember being in that town with a friend and going to a (at least then) conservative Methodist church. With no reformed options, I decided to visit there on Sunday morning.

Well, I was wearing my required leather boots and nomex cargo-style fire pants. As I came in, I heard someone behind me say something to the effect that "she can't cause too much trouble, she's wearing a name tag." To my horror, I realized my entrance would be at the front of the sanctuary: conversations stopped, people turned around to stare. When the dance group came out, I gave up on the service and just sat there reading my Bible. I was so homesick for my church that morning!

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JWithnell
Member Bethel OPC
Virginia

Yes, we should strive to make people feel welcome in the House of the Lord!

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~James Helbert~, Wytheville, VA
Providence Reformed Presbyterian Church, RPCUS
TheBibleAlone.com / The Edinburgh Inn
"Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?” - Zechariah 3:2

My church doesn't speak to me, shake my hand, or even give me a nod. It's a very cold church, but that's most due to the fact that it's made out of brick.

However, the folks inside of it make up for the church's rudeness. They're great, friendly, giving, etc.

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Josh Hicks, Chloë's Dad
Attending CCRPC, Member of TRBC
Reformers & Puritans -lllll- Puritan Pub
Board Rules - Signature Rules - Suggestion Box

Mine is positively offensive, if you face it from the front and see the big Jimmy the Shepherd stained glass window. But the folks inside are pretty nice, too.

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Brad
PCA Member
Virginia

Pro 16:33 The lot is cast into the lap; but the whole disposing thereof is of the LORD.

Isa 8:20 To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.

ESV John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

I am happy to say, by God's grace, that my church is friendly and hospitable

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Flavio Deac
Reformed Baptist
Basswood Church
Bond servant of my Lord Jesus
Husband to Hanna, father to Nathan, Chloe, Caleb, & Lily
Currently reside in Knoxville TN
The Five Solas

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soli Deo gloria!
~N!cholasNap!er~ Ordained Pastor
Attending Fulton Presbyterian, PCA; GPTS Student
Christians are like snow covered dung; it is the purity of the covering which the Father sees. -Luther-
There is nothing more ugly than a Christian orthodoxy without understanding or without compassion.
-Francis Schaeffer-

Our congregation is also very warm and friendly, and it does have to do with loving one another.

It has been my observation with unfriendly congregations that they also tend to be very self-absorbed and clickish, not really wanting others to be a part of their "club" unless they want them there.

It can easily happen in churches when "we", the congregation, decide that we have a corner on the truth so we are slightly better than everyone else. The new person, then, becomes a threat to the status quo, and so people become unwelcoming and unfriendly.

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J Baldwin
Keowee Presbyterian Church, PCA
Pickens, SC
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27

Check Out My Blog: http://reflectjoy.blogspot.com/

The church of all others that I have most enjoyed visiting was Iglesia Presbiteriana Berith, where no one greeted me, shook my hand, or anything, until the pastor and an elder spoke with me as I was leaving; but I could have avoided them if I had wanted to.

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Ruben
Moderator
F.P.C.I.
Indiana

Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness. -George Orwell

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Calvinistas Conversando - Reformed Discussion Board in Spanish.

Spanish Blog -Teologia en Mexico
English Blog -The Howling Wilderness

I visited a church once that met me at the door and told us we couldn't have our kids in service because the pastor doesn't like to hear kids. I didn't like hearing him

I also went to a church that proceeded to question me in minute, minute areas of doctrine - almost like they were looking for a reason to disagree.



But I went to a church and broke down on the road before getting there, and one of the church members lent me a car to drive across 2 states back home until mine was fixed! When I passed through again two weeks later we swapped the car out. WOW!

My members are very friendly. However, a church can be very friendly and not be a biblical church. If I had the choose between a friendly church that was not biblical and a biblical church that was not friendly, I would choose the biblical church.

But than again I'm funny that way.

I will add that there is nothing wrong with being friendly. I think that being friendly can be considered part of being a biblical church. However, if a friendly church is teaching false doctrine I wouldn't consider them a friendly church. Not for a minute.

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Ivan Schoen, Pastor * Maranatha Baptist Church, Poplar Grove, IL * http://maranatha-sbc.org/

"I want to assist churches and to assist pastors in training pastors. But, after fourteen years of service in this capacity, I am absolutely certain that the finest theological seminary on earth is absolutely incompetent at replicating the actual life of a Gospel congregation. I want to train a generation of pastors who will train pastors, and I want to help them in that task." --- Dr. R. Albert Mohler, President of THE Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY

I believe a church can be friendly and not be biblical but i also believe that it is an oxymoron to say that a church can be biblical and unfriendly.

I would agree with that. If a congregation (as a whole) is living as Christ would live, they have love for one another, and that love naturally spills over into love for others.

I would add here that the false friendliness that I've experienced in a few churches I've visited over the years is almost worse than being ignored. I would also add that I don't think I've ever encountered sicky friendliness in a reformed church. The reformed tend to be either genuinely friendly or to use a worn out phrase, "the frozen chosen".

When someone walks in late, I don't watch as the entire congregation in front of me cranes their heads round to stare, honest...

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Jonathan Hunt

Preaching Elder
Cheltenham Evangelical Free Church (Confessionally Based)
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
-- Thomas Elsworth

[quote=JBaldwin;467962]Amen to that, dear sister! And you can spot it a mile away.

Leave it you.

The church I go to is very inviting, very. Did I say very? It is their work to make all welcome to get people to open up.

[quote=JBaldwin;467962] Unfortunately, that is true.

Too many people are to find other thawed "chosens." Too bad that all of (us) "warm-fuzzies" can't be gathered in one friendly Reformed congregation. That would make life a lot simpler for the true "frozen chosens!"





Margaret

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Margaret
Free Church of Scotland [Continuing]
Michigan

"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" - Isaiah 5:20-21

Margaret has some mad smiley skills!

Yes, my church is friendly - as much as New Yorkers can be friendly...

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Mason
Member, Redeemer Presbyterian Church (PCA)
New York, NY

"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool." - Isaiah 1:18

To my mind there is something really horrible about visiting a church and no one speaks to you. It feels even worse if you are on your own. I have been to services where people will speak during the passing of the peace and then ignore you after the benediction. What's that all about?
Where, oh where did we get this idea that visitors to a church don't want to be spoken to? As a post modern generation are we not supposed to be about relationships, story and authenticity?
This is really a pet peeve of mine, I could say (rant) so much more, but I will spare ya'll my traumas.
Thankfully, my own church is welcoming and friendly.

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Donnie MacLeod
Crossroads Presbyterian Fellowship (PCA), Maplewood, MO
MDiv Student Covenant Theological Seminary

You filled my heart with greater joy
than others may have found
As they rejoiced at harvest time,
when grain and wine abound.Ps 4:7, Sing Psalms 2003

I'm sitting here chuckling to myself.

I sincerely do not believe that the question "is your church a friendly church" should be asked of committed members of that church. Instead, that question should be asked of the visitors who attend.

I virtually never hear a person say, "My church is unfriendly... but I attend there anyway." Yet I wonder what outsiders think.

An example:

In the past we attended a very confessional church. Before or after each service I'd be greeted by the elders... but no one else. I'd stand smiling waiting for someone to talk to me... but to no avail. From time to time I'd try to start up a conversation, all of which involved me trying to "insert myself" into openings in existing conversations. These too failed. My wife's success with the ladies was only slightly better. After a while we asked ourselves, "Why are we bothering? It isn't like this is the only church in town." So we left.

A few months ago my wife happened into one of the ladies who, upon seeing her, asked my wife, "Did you go to our church in the past?" My wife said yes, and the lady asked why we didn't go, and my wife told her, and the lady said, "Oh! But we really are friendly!"

I had to shake my head when I heard that.

Anyway, before you pat yourselves on the back for having a friendly church I'd ask you to do an objective test: How many visitors do you get? and How often do they return for a second visit?

Very rarely will the theology of a church drive away a guest after a first visit... but the "climate" will.

Also, it matters how friendly the elders are... but face it folks, most people think the pastor is doing his job to be friendly to guests. The real test is: how warm and outgoing are the congregants? That is how you gain a quick pulse check of the warmth and friendliness of a congregation.

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Ben
Sanford, NC
TE Ohio Valley Presbytery, PCA