I've been a Christian for over eight years and very early on in my Christian walk I wanted to go to seminary; not necessarily to become a pastor (though I'm open to it), but because I've always had a desire to teach at the university level (in my 'pagan' days, I wanted to be a philosophy prof at a university before life got in the way).
Two years ago I started seminary at Moody Bible Institute (this was before my 'Reformed' conversion), but life got in the way again, so I had to suspend my studies.
Even now, I still have the desire to get a formal education, and it appears that maybe a door of opportunity might be opening within the next year or two. I know I can handle a seminary calibre workload. I even had various people (even profs at Moody) tell me that I should be a pastor. I honestly don't think it's a question of either: 1) Internal desire; 2) external validation; or 3) native 'talent' or 'ability'.
My questions are:
- At 44, (probably 45-46 before beginning seminary) is it even too late to consider taking this burden on?
- Given the previous aborted attempt, I'm just wondering if my desire doesn't really equate to a true calling
Regarding that last question, there is a part of me that really doesn't want to take on the hassle; but like a splinter in my mind's eye, the desire to pursue this remains. I'm struggling as to whether or not my previous aborted attempt is God telling me "this is not for me," or "this is not for me...yet."
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