Just kidding, Ed!



We try not to engage in such national past-times around here.

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Wayne Sparkman, Th.M.
Director, PCA Historical Center, St. Louis, MO
Blogs: The Continuing Story and PCA History Blog

Aw, come on ... this thread could be a lot of fun if we renamed it 'Gunning for my FORMER pastor (Reasons I am now Reformed)' ...

Worst sermon quote I ever heard ... (and let me emphasize that this was my FORMER church and has NOTHING to do with my current pastor, except insofar as he has heard the story and thought it was hilarious)...

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30). You see, if an egg is rotten, it is hard to cook and eat it. Jesus is saying that God is like a good egg with a yolk [yoke?] that is easy to eat."

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Caroline
OPC
Schenectady, NY
Blog: The Unlikely Calvinist

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Frank
Under Care
P.C.A.
Maryland

Was he kidding?

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soli Deo gloria!
~Nicholas~ Ordained Pastor
Member, Fulton PCA; GPTS Student
Christians are like snow covered dung; it is the purity of the covering which the Father sees. -Luther-
There is nothing more ugly than a Christian orthodoxy without understanding or without compassion.
-Francis Schaeffer-

This cannot be real? Can it?

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Jonathan Hunt

Elder holding forth the word of life at:
Cheltenham Evangelical Free Church (Confessionally Based)
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
-- Thomas Elsworth

Yes, it is real. No, he was not kidding. It's the sort of mistake that you get when you combine pastors who have never graduated high school with a church that is KJV-only.

I've got more, but that was the worst one.

#2 on the list is the time a pastor spoke on Matthew 6:22-23: "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"

He said, "It means that if you really want something (like a new car), think about it and focus only on that every moment. Keep it in the 'eye' of your mind all day. Then your 'eye' will be good, and then you will receive what you want."

Amid all the 'Amens' around me, I looked down at verse 24 (the very next verse): "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."

Hmmmmm ... that doesn't seem to support his interpretation, now does it?

Now, if I ever hear a preacher start in on the 'I'm-just-a-humble-guy' routine ... "I've never been to college. Never been to seminary. I don't know any of that fancy Greek and Hebrew ..." I just get the overwhelming urge to shout, "Well, then, sit down and shut up!"

I just got sick to my stomach. I had no idea the famine of the Word had grown to such proportions. I guess I have my head in the sand.

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http://www.villagecommunitychurch.org/


"Preparing a sermon is like cooking a meal. You need pots and pans and utensils, but you don't bring them out to the table where people are eating." Derek Thomas


Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

Oh, for Pete's sake!!!

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Toni Cunningham, Wife of Bill (Theognome)
Parkwoods OPC, Overland Park KS

"Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace." ~ Alexander Pope

I'm not sure if this is what the thread was intended to be about, but as Caroline started, here are some quotes (as best as I remember them) on free will from an SBC church:

"God's foreknowledge of us is like me with my children. I know both of my children and give them all equal opportunity. I know them well enough to know what they're going to do. It's the same way with God. He knows us well enough to know what we're going to do and choose."

"The only way we can give God glory is if we choose Him. If we hadn't chose Him, we'd just be like robots doing whatever God asks and then we wouldn't be able to glorify Him."

"I'm not some Hyper-Calvinist who believes that only the people God has chosen are saved, like some frozen chosen. I don't take any of that hogwash. I believe in a whosoever Gospel! 'For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.' That means that anyone can be saved if they want to be."

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Jake; Hold to Original WCF, member of SBC; Greater Atlanta, Georgia Area

The cross does not give us a minor shift or two with regard to a few of our ethical and moral and religious values; the cross radically disrupts the very center and citadel of your life from self to Christ. —Albert N. Martin

I see from your signature that you are from the Greater Atlanta area. I'll bet you didn't have to "hunt" very far to find these quotes...

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Tim Phillips
Pastor, Midlane Park Presbyterian Church (ARP)
Louisville, KY
Husband of Scottish Lass
My Blog: Gairney Bridge
My Facebook/My Avatar

Click to get: Board Rules -- Signature Requirements -- Suggestions?

"Wherever the gospel is preached, it is as if God Himself came into the midst of us." ~ John Calvin

Hey, hey, don't take my name in vain...

I could share with you all the time that Jessie Jackson was guest preacher at the UPUSA church I attended while working on a degree. It was back when he was just starting to market Operation PUSH.

He taught me that "I AM somebody"

Putting aside the borderline blasphemy, we had to chant that phrases (changing the emphasized word on occasion) a number of times.

Of course, it was one of the better sermons there...

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Edward
Deacon
PCA
Texas

HAD to? I believe I'd of held my breath before bolting for the exit.

Was "The Reverend" Al Sharpton with him?

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Norm
IA PCA

In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will. Ephesians 1:4-5