Hey all,

I've been invited to a wedding but it is on the Lord's Day. What would you do in this situation?

__________________
DAVIDIVS DOCTVS VTRIVSQVE LINGVAE
Husband of Emilia
Member: First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham (RPCNA) - Durham, NC
Currently in the process of transferring membership to an as-yet-undecided church in Chapel Hill
Student: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, German Literature and Classics

Is it in a Church?

__________________
Kevin Rogers
Sovereign Community Church, PCA
Moncton NB

At the time, my best friend got married on that day and I did not attend.
Its the Lord's Day. After the fact, he knew it was a mistake.

__________________
C. Matthew McMahon, Ph.D.
John 5:39, "...search the Scriptures..."

Dr. C. Matthew McMahon.com, www.apuritansmind.com and www.puritanpublications.com
Member - Christ Presbyterian Church, Professor at WTS for Puritan History & Theology.

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In Reformed circles of Dutch heritage, it used to be common for weddings to take place in a church service on the Lord's Day.

VanDellen and Monsma in their Church Order Commentary write, "As to the day of the week for Church weddings, it is perfectly proper that marriages be solemnized in one of the regular Sunday services. This is to be preferred to week-day Church weddings."

FWIW.

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Wes Bredenhof
Co-pastor, Langley Canadian Reformed Church
Langley, British Columbia
www.bredenhof.ca

We were SBC at the time and were married after services. If we knew then what we know now, we wouldn't have done so...but then we also have eloped a year or two sooner and moved far, far away...

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JC
URCNA
PA, but homesick for SC

"Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact. There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home" Bon Jovi

The Westminster Assembly, while not condemning it as a sin, advised in its directory for public worship "that it be not on the Lord's day." In the Scottish church at the first reformation this was not the case. The first book of discipline says: "The Sunday before sermon we think most convenient for marriage, and it to be used no day else without the consent of the whole ministry." It may be [the change was due to] practical experience that the celebratory nature of the event simply was too difficult to restrain to anything appropriate for the Lord's day?

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Chris Coldwell, Lakewood Presbyterian Church (PCA), Member
• Naphtali Press: Presbyterian & Reformed Books
• The Confessional Presbyterian Journal
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The Regulative Principle: Samuel Miller gives a succinct statement of this principle when he writes that since the Scriptures are the “only infallible rule of faith and practice, no rite or ceremony ought to have a place in the public worship of God, which is not warranted in Scripture, either by direct precept or example, or by good and sufficient inference.”

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Who said getting married on the "Lord's Day" is a mistake???

I used to attend Tabernacle Church of Norfolk (one of the most conservative and missions minded churches in America) and my music minster got married on a Sunday DURING the service! It was AWESOME because visitors got to sit in on a wedding for FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I wish more Christians would get married on Sundays--during church!

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David Silvey
Bethany Church (Evangelical Free)
Pasadena, CA

Scripture and verse!?

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Independent Reformed Baptist Church (NE England, nr. Durham)

Dieter...

Do you mean where in the BIBLE does it say to get married on Sunday???

Well...I don't think our Sundays are the real Sabbath anyway, right? Second, EVERYONE knows the wedding at Cana--the first wedding Jesus attended (and drank GRAPE juice at ) was held on a Sunday.

Geesh! You don't know your Bible very well, do you???

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David Silvey
Bethany Church (Evangelical Free)
Pasadena, CA

Acknowledging what has been said about reformed history, my sneaking suspicion is that these are not the motivating reasons for holding this wedding on a Sabbath. Although I may be wrong, I would guess the case is the couple are not Sabbatarians. This being the case, you can be certain that you will be surrounded by people doing things inappropriate on the Sabbath (whatever we think of having the actual wedding itself on that day). The whole situation will not be conducted in a manner and with a mindset to sanctifying the day. If I am right in my guess (and I could be wrong) then I would personally opt not to attend. Not only would I want to use the Sabbath as appropriately as possible but I would not want to give the impression that I condoned what is wrong or that my convictions about the Sabbath could be set aside for more "important" things like weddings.

__________________
Rev. Adam King
Minister without a call (WPCUS)
Stated Supply: Reformed Presbyterian Church
Sterling, KS

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. There seems to be consensus (of those who have spoken up at least). I just wanted to add that the wedding is not going to be part of a church service. It won't be in a church, for that matter. It is being held at a place nearby called "Pine Lake Pavillion," which is, as you may have guessed, a lake with some pine trees and a pavillion.

__________________
DAVIDIVS DOCTVS VTRIVSQVE LINGVAE
Husband of Emilia
Member: First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham (RPCNA) - Durham, NC
Currently in the process of transferring membership to an as-yet-undecided church in Chapel Hill
Student: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, German Literature and Classics

Well then, I don't think you would regret not going; some of the consequences may make you sad, but I think you can be sure your conscience is clear. But handle the consequences "well". Often we try to do the right thing and then handle the fallout poorly. Look out for that fallout.

__________________
Chris Coldwell, Lakewood Presbyterian Church (PCA), Member
• Naphtali Press: Presbyterian & Reformed Books
• The Confessional Presbyterian Journal
• The Blue Banner Archive

The Regulative Principle: Samuel Miller gives a succinct statement of this principle when he writes that since the Scriptures are the “only infallible rule of faith and practice, no rite or ceremony ought to have a place in the public worship of God, which is not warranted in Scripture, either by direct precept or example, or by good and sufficient inference.”

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If you are not a Sabbatarian, there are bigger fish to fry on that.

For those who do hold that the Lord's Day and Sabbath are one in the same, I believe this takes care of anything that would be deemed "our pleasure", which IMHO includes "our" wedding.

Isaiah 58:13-14 3 "If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the LORD honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; 14 then you shall take delight in the LORD, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

__________________
C. Matthew McMahon, Ph.D.
John 5:39, "...search the Scriptures..."

Dr. C. Matthew McMahon.com, www.apuritansmind.com and www.puritanpublications.com
Member - Christ Presbyterian Church, Professor at WTS for Puritan History & Theology.

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While I come from the 'Dutch Reformed' tradition I think this issue is quite simple.

1) A wedding does not fall under the element(s) of a worship service so it should not be conducted during the service.

2) If a wedding is conducted outside of a service how will it (does it) promote the sanctity of the Lord's Day? As others have mentioned, it will most likely detract from a holy observance.

In conclusion, I see no good reason why a wedding would take place on the Lord's Day where Christ's bride (not yours, mine or someone elses) meets to worship her bridegroom.

__________________
Rev. Daniel Kok
Pastor of Grace Reformed Church (URCNA)
Leduc, Alberta CANADA
Church Blog

"there is no creature, either in heaven or on earth, who loves us more than Jesus Christ"
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Not trying to be contrary, but I don't think that's right. I believe funerals are classified as family affairs, but the jury is still out on marriages -- also with the CanRC CO and the proposed Joint Church Order.

Article 48

Consistories shall instruct and admonish those under their spiritual care who
are considering marriage to marry in the Lord. Christian marriages should be
solemnized with appropriate admonitions, promises and prayers, under the
regulation of the Consistory, with the use of the appropriate liturgical form.
Ministers shall not solemnize marriages which would conflict with the Word of
God.

Article 49

A Christian funeral is neither a service of corporate worship nor subject to
ecclesiastical government, but is a family matter, and should be conducted
accordingly.

__________________
Wes Bredenhof
Co-pastor, Langley Canadian Reformed Church
Langley, British Columbia
www.bredenhof.ca

Wes:

Yes you are being contrary, and yes you are correct (embarassing for me!). I'll edit the post accordingly.

On another note, I will soon have to publically give account of my knowledge of the URCNA CO (among other subjects) in a month's time at my colloquium doctum

Strike one for me!

__________________
Rev. Daniel Kok
Pastor of Grace Reformed Church (URCNA)
Leduc, Alberta CANADA
Church Blog

"there is no creature, either in heaven or on earth, who loves us more than Jesus Christ"
Belgic Confession, Article 26

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Sterkte! (I trust you can understand that little snippet of Dutch)

__________________
Wes Bredenhof
Co-pastor, Langley Canadian Reformed Church
Langley, British Columbia
www.bredenhof.ca

Anyone who has ever been a member of an active member of a bridal party can testify that the day of a wedding is anything but restful. It's stressful!

to weddings on Sunday.

__________________
Kristine O.
Vancouver, WA
Hillcrest Chapel (non-denom.)
PCA-girl at heart
Daughter, Sister, Auntie, and Friend.

"Our great Teacher never loses patience with His dull scholars." (Alexander Maclaren)

The issue in the Directory for Public Worship is not firm and I would have no scruples against attending a wedding on Sunday in a Church. I don't consider attending the solemn union of a man and woman before God to be recreation or a frivolous thing.

Also, I don't know how a man and woman are supposed to get married, in a Church, without some sort of liturgy. It seems kind of ironic that the institution that is used as a picture of Christ and His Church is somehow given some sort of unholy connotation. Our eternal Sabbath is even pictured as a wedding feast. Marriage shares a distinction with the Sabbath as being a Creation ordinance. It certainly is not an extra-ecclesiastical event but ought to involve the entire Body as they celebrate the union of one of their own.

I believe it may be debatable whether one ought to attend a wedding outside of a Church on Sunday but I cannot go along with those who place this event as one of many other frivolous activities that, prima facia, ought to be avoided on the Lord's Day.

__________________
Rich
Northern VA
OPC

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Interestingtly....I'll be attending two weddings this spring which fall on Sundays.

One will be at my church directly following worship. I think Rich makes an excellent point. Being Sabbattarian, I think, especially in the case of a wedding being in a church (not during worship), it is a fine thing to be married...unless you follow it up with a meal served by a catering company with a DJ or Wedding Singer (violating the command to not work). This wedding will be followed up by a potluck.

__________________
Craig French
Married and father of a beautiful daughter.
Member of Christ The Word, PCA
Toledo, OH

MY BLOG

David S,

Re your post #9, I don't know that the wedding at Cana was on the 1st day (Sunday) -- would you please show me from Scripture how you arrive at that? Thanks,

Steve

__________________
Steve Rafalsky
Elder, International Evangelical Church (Reformed)
Limassol, Cyprus

"I am set for the defense of the gospel" (Philippians 1:17)

"Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious
power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness..." (Colossians 1:11)

I agree with Rich.

When my wife and I were married (in the Pres Church of Canada) the minister made a large point in the counseling session that a wedding was a public declaration of a vow before God, a time to hear Gods word read and preached, and to have the blessing of God pronounced.

It was not a time to have a "corus line" of bridal attendants in matching cocktail dresses parade through a chuch! His proposal was that it aught to be on a Sunday after services but before the benidiction.

I had never heard anything like this before. I had only known the "broadway production" style of wedding. I think the reason this is an issue for us is because of how we celebrate weddings. If we reduce it to the bare minimum as that pastor did in his talks to us I think few of the Sabbatarian concerns would still be objections.

__________________
Kevin Rogers
Sovereign Community Church, PCA
Moncton NB