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LadyFlynt · #13 (**permalink**) 02-09-2005, 10:25 AM

I don't know, maybe I always was. I remember at about 4yrs old telling my armenianist s-dad that I was NOT to blame for something because God controls everything (you should have seen how red his face got as he stuttered around that one...yes, I was working my way out of trouble), I must have had Calvinistic foster parents!

I was raised by armenianists that believed you could lose and gain salvation, but was in a slightly calvinistic (4 point) once saved always saved church. So my thinking was a bit mixed. Later we while trying to grow as Christians and learn about living a holy life, we got frustrated with the liberalism within the mainstream churches (SBC and UMC and LMS).
So we went off the deep end...first into oneness pentacostalism (which we had asked specific questions before going and found we had been lied to) for about 9mos and then to the mennonites for a year and a half. There the Lord knocked us flat on our faces. Nothing we did was good enough. If we even tried harder than those within the community we were criticized as trying to be better than them (even though the suspenders were just for holding his britches up not for making a statement). If I didn't make dessert everyday, regardless of finances, I wasn't taking care of my family. If dh didn't buy me a Bernina sewing machine ($2000!) then he wasn't taking care of me. We were lonely. Women were not allowed to get together unless it was for shopping, canning, or sewing....no Bible studies allowed outside of the men's observance...the ladies were not allowed to ask questions during sunday school and half the time could not hear what was being said as the man stood on the men's side and only the men could respond...not allowed to have the in laws to come stay a weekend because they were D&R...got into trouble for going to a Sunday home meeting of others that were joining plain groups (this was a time of refreshment and support for most of us). I finally ended up reading all of Job for the first time. I called a friend in tears only to be screamed at that I got what I deserved (I had told her a year previously that I couldn't stand with her wedding party in her 2nd marriage). The final straw was the recommendation that I take Prozac to help me conform (I had started questioning the gossip, etc).
We had some friends (a neighboring holiness ministers son and a couple that had left the mennonite churches themselves-only they were raised mennonite) help us pack and move (literally sneaking out) and move us back to St L. Where we had some friends from a Bible Church take us in...they were hardcore calvinists. The two months with them helped us start recovering and helped us re-evaluate our doctrine and beliefs.

Bang, into calvinism....the next 5yrs helped us to finally agree to that fifth point (limited atonement).

[Edited on 9-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]

[Edited on 9-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]