I'm sitting here chuckling to myself.

I sincerely do not believe that the question "is your church a friendly church" should be asked of committed members of that church. Instead, that question should be asked of the visitors who attend.

I virtually never hear a person say, "My church is unfriendly... but I attend there anyway." Yet I wonder what outsiders think.

An example:

In the past we attended a very confessional church. Before or after each service I'd be greeted by the elders... but no one else. I'd stand smiling waiting for someone to talk to me... but to no avail. From time to time I'd try to start up a conversation, all of which involved me trying to "insert myself" into openings in existing conversations. These too failed. My wife's success with the ladies was only slightly better. After a while we asked ourselves, "Why are we bothering? It isn't like this is the only church in town." So we left.

A few months ago my wife happened into one of the ladies who, upon seeing her, asked my wife, "Did you go to our church in the past?" My wife said yes, and the lady asked why we didn't go, and my wife told her, and the lady said, "Oh! But we really are friendly!"

I had to shake my head when I heard that.

Anyway, before you pat yourselves on the back for having a friendly church I'd ask you to do an objective test: How many visitors do you get? and How often do they return for a second visit?

Very rarely will the theology of a church drive away a guest after a first visit... but the "climate" will.

Also, it matters how friendly the elders are... but face it folks, most people think the pastor is doing his job to be friendly to guests. The real test is: how warm and outgoing are the congregants? That is how you gain a quick pulse check of the warmth and friendliness of a congregation.

__________________
Ben
Sanford, NC
TE Ohio Valley Presbytery, PCA