I used to have them with severe pain -- the pain itself is so severe that I can't move --not even my fingers, to hold a bucket to throw up in etc (and I inevitably throw up with weakness and pain). I now know the pain is endo; but the first few times it happened I had no idea what was going on and stopped breathing in the panic, thought I was dying as I lost all control of limbs etc. The pain was undiagnosed for years and part of the scariness was simply not knowing what it was that was happening to me. I honestly can't tell how I have learned not to be afraid of the pain and not to have the panic attacks with it except that God taught me to have a new attitude towards pain, where I don't live in fear of it anymore. I do remember training myself to breathe through it, focusing on a calm, repetitive phrase (often a Scripture verse) and trying to force my mind onto that etc. I think I might still panic if I were left alone through when the pain hits as I am utterly incapable of caring for myself; but by God's grace that has never happened and it is one of the things that keeps me calm: I know Ruben will come home if I call, etc. I suppose I will have to work through this on another level if it comes to a point where that is no longer an option. I also take herbs to keep me calm: liquid valerian is the best help for that physical aspect that I've found (I have to have it liquid, or I don't absorb it quickly enough). I can't imagine having something like that hit out of the blue, and being even more at a loss as to how to explain or handle it.

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Heidi
Indianapolis, Indiana

After two days, he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him.
Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.