Ryan,
At first I took great comfort in the truth of Particular Redemption because it tied together much of the teaching of the grace and mercy of the cross.
I always liked John 10/Ezk.34 The good shepherd searching out His sheep. The certainty of it. The finality of it. Jesus set His face link a flint and he must accomplish the work of the cross,ie, the covenant of redemption.
As I came to understand Hebrews 2:9-16- He did not take on him the nature of angels, but the seed of Abraham, No matter who commented on it , Hugh Martin, John Owen, Arthur Pink, Matthew Henry, Charles Spurgeon,
they had a similar reaction to the so great a salvation which is graced to sinners such as myself, and you who believe.
The certainty of the finished work is exciting but it does not help anyone unless the Holy Spirit quickens them. Just as much as Jesus taking hold of Peter sinking in the water, He takes hold of all the seed of Abraham.
When I came to understand this is what had happened to me, who was very far from the kingdom of God,rebellious, profane,sinking in my sin and hopeless despair. I was and still am amazed that God did not cut me off in my sin justly. But God who is rich in mercy made himself known to me. He now ever lives as my Great High Priest, I expect that I will never fully grasp it this side of the Heavenly Jerusalem , but I continue to prayerfully and through faith lay hold of the promise that was extended to me by God, in union with Him.

__________________
Anthony D'Arienzo
Sunday School Teacher
Hope Reformed Baptist Church:
Medford, N.Y.