Well, from a failure, I didn't bring my father into the decision and I ignored her father's ideas, and it came back to haunt me with 23 years of a bad marriage. Put the burden on him, and he'll come through. You shouldn't have to be making decisions. You aren't equipped, and neither is the young man.

Tell you dad that it's his responsibility to guide you through it. If he won't, tell the Elders of your church what the story is and let them do it. The idea of a father's blessing isn't just some OT deal that's not in place because of Christ's death and resurrection.

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Tim Vaughan, 48 years old, member Redeemer OPC, Santa Maria CA.