I have been in and out of the charismatic scene. Speaking with them on their own charismatic terms, you might point out that not everyone who is prayed for gets healed. Jesus went to the pool of Bethesda where there were many sick, but only one man got healed; He didn't clear out the place. Stress the sovereignty and goodness of God--He knows what He's doing. There is method to what seems to us to be His madness. If He chooses to take the wife, then that is best, no matter how much it hurts.

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Mary Vanderkooi
Kale Heywott Church (KHC)
Soddo, Ethiopia