I agree with Charles Spurgeon when he described what a good minister's wife is like:

It is a great assistance to the cause of God to keep the minister himself in good order for his work. It is his wife’s duty to see that he is not uncomfortable at home; for, if everything there is happy, and free from care, he can give all his thoughts to his preparation for the pulpit; and the godly woman, who thus helps her husband to preach better, is herself a preacher though she never speaks in public, and she becomes to the highest degree useful to that portion of the Church of Christ which is committed to her husband’s charge.

I also agree with Joshua's comment above about people's [mis]perceptions of what the pastor's wife ought to be doing. Growing up, I’ve always gathered that people have the notion a pastor’s wife is supposed to do certain things at church; they’re expected to teach Sunday school or lead the choir or be the church’s organist or pianist, etc. (even though these may not necessarily correspond to their gifts). I agree there shouldn't be this non-verbal expectation. I think that a pastor’s wife’s primary role, just like any other married Christian ladies' role, is to be a wife to her husband. I echo Charles Spurgeon's words when he wrote some of the challenges that may come along with being a pastor's wife:

Churches do not give a married minister two salaries, one for the husband and the other for the wife; but, in many cases, they look for the services of the wife, whether they pay for them or not. The Pastor’s wife is expected to know everything about the church, and in another sense she is to know nothing of it; and she is equally blamed by some people whether she knows everything or nothing. Her duties consist in being always at home to attend to her husband and her family, and being always out, visiting other people, and doing all sorts of things for the whole church! Well, of course, that is impossible; she cannot be at everybody’s beck and call, and she cannot expect to please everybody. Her husband cannot do that, and I think he is very foolish if he tries to do it; and I am certain that, as the husband cannot please everybody, neither can the wife. There will be sure to be somebody or other who will be displeased, especially if that somebody had herself half hoped to be the minister’s wife! Difficulties arise continually in the best-regulated churches; and the position of the minister’s wife is always a very trying one. Still, I think that: if I was a Christian young woman, I would marry a Christian minister if I could, because there is an opportunity of doing so much good in helping him in his service for Christ.

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Jessica S.
Covenant Presbyterian Church (OPC)
pilgrimsprogress.net - My blog


"All the dark, intricate, puzzling providences at which we were sometimes so offended...we shall [one day] see to be to us, as the difficult passage through the wilderness was to Israel, 'the right way to the city of habitation.'" (John Flavel)