The Pastor's family in general is going to suffer because the Pastor is the Pastor.

The wife, the kids, etc. are all going to be held to standards that the congregants themselves don't hold to. It's not something they're going to intentionally do, I don't think, but something they will subconsiciously do. I know of wives of pastors that are held to such a high standard, only to have those holding her to it turn around and get irrate with her because she's "making them look bad". It's as if she's supposed to be better than everyone else, but not so much as to make them look bad. Too much in either direction spells out trouble. If she's not good enough, then the pastor must be a bad leader and he needs to be fired. If she's too good, she's being pretentious. She is constantly under the microscope.

I've also noted another strange observance. Most people, especially in rural situations, expect the pastor and his family to be and live poor. I have also known a pastor's wife who was criticized because she drove a Volvo that her mother gave her. Some congregants felt that she souldn't be driving such a nice car, so she let another family member drive it.

My suggestions: be perfect, but not too perfect, and make sure to be poor.

*rolls eyes*

__________________
Andrew DeShazo, Deacon, Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, Memphis, TN
"All of us stumble in many ways, but if anyone is never at fault in what he says, then he is mature, able to control his whole body."(James 3:2)