Some thoughts:
Election and regeneration are not the same; the former decreed from eternity, the latter effected in time. I was elect before I was regenerated. If an elect infant dies before regeneration, he is no less elect.
Paedos baptize their infants only because of the command given that the seed of Abraham – which we are (Gal 3:29) – put “the token of the covenant” (Gen 17:11) on
their seed. We would be foolish to assume the election of our children in light of the status of Esau (and the mass of unbelieving covenant-breakers in the progeny of Jacob).
And yet, we have reason to hope they are indeed “children of promise”.
Did Esau’s unbelief / apostasy annul God’s promise? If a fruit tree bears some bad fruit is the whole tree bad? God says there are children of the mere flesh, and children of promise.
I have no hope for the dying infants of the wicked. I trust God to do what is good in His eyes. In this area I do not know what is good in His eyes.
The middle ground between doubt and expectation is hope. Not a “sure” hope, but a godly hope nonetheless. It is a hope built on trust in His goodness, and covenant faithfulness.
Were I to counsel believing parents grieving the loss of an infant, I would say, You are godly parents, and have reason to hope in the election of your child. Your trust in your Savior will uphold you.
Our children are not “made…token members of some visible fraternity”, as though circumcision was and baptism is something
we made up; they are brought into the organic life of God’s community at His command.
Peter says that the promise – not only of the Holy Spirit, but of the blessing of Abraham in its fullness – is to all who believe, “and to your children” (Acts 2:39). In what respect would it be to their children? Entrance into the covenant is the only answer. On the same basis as aforetime. And the same situation as of old would obtain: not all of the seed of the covenant believers would be elect, although they would have been under the gracious influences of God’s ministry and care:
For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God:
But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned. …(Heb 6:7, 8)
If we are indeed “the seed of Abraham” why would we not be subject to the command pertaining to his seed? Because we are in the days of the fulfillment of that covenant are we to reckon it rescinded? On what authority?
Infants of old took on circumcision
through the faith – and obedience – of their parents. This obedience seems to be something easily omitted today. As the seed of Abraham we have the
exact obligation to initiate our seed into the covenant. Why do some New Covenant believers divorce themselves from this obedience?