Quote:
Originally Posted by BobVigneault  I get this question a lot from the inmates through Crossroads Bible Institute. We have to be very careful about how the questions get phrased. One fellow asked, "Why and when do church people encourage divorce?”
A variation is, 'when is divorced allowed?'
We may be answering questions that scripture does not explicitly answer but we can help someone to arrive at an answer. Here's my take:
God hates divorce, the church should hate divorce. The church should never encourage divorce or put it’s approval on it in any way. Jesus made no provision for divorce, neither did Paul and neither should the church. The reason is simple. Marriage is the picture of God’s unbreakable covenant with his church. If the marriage covenant before God is broken then it makes a mockery of the covenant that God has made with His people - ‘what God has joined together let no man separate.’
You will hear folks say that the bible allows for divorce in the case of adultery (or fornication) and abandonment. This is not true, the bible never allows for divorce, period. Divorce is never God’s revealed will. Now, having said that. It is very easy in our culture to get a divorce. Our society has mocked God’s commands at every corner. People get divorced. What do we do with a brother or sister who is the innocent party in a divorce? There is usually an innocent party. Can that person be an elder or serve in the church? Well scripture speaks to these matters. Can that person remarry? Scripture speaks to that question but there can be some different interpretations of the doctrines arrived at.
Bottom line is, divorce is not provided for in scripture but scripture helps us in where we should go if a divorce takes place.
If I'm off target here I would appreciate some pastoral direction. |
Bob, basically you're right on target. While divorce is permitted under the circumstances articulated earlier in this thread, it's not God's perfect plan. Every attempt must be made to reconcile and to avoid breaking the marriage covenant. Unfortunately we are fallen people and divorce does happen. When it does happen it is a tragedy of epic proportions. It is not a matter of, "You cheated on me so now I can divorce!" It's more of, "You cheated on me and I am wounded deeply but marriage is a holy covenant and I will cling to Christ in this matter."
There are wonderful Christian men and women who oppose divorce but have it thrust on them anyway. In that case God allows for it and the church should not ostracize this person. In fact, they should come along side them for the purpose of encouragement and support. I have witnessed dear saints shunned because they were divorced. This ought not to be. It is a blight to the testimony of the church.
The story of Hosea and Gomer is a wonderful example of the grace, mercy and forgiveness in spite of repeated adultery. The fact that Hosea obeyed the word of the Lord did not mean that all was well with his relationship with Gomer. A marriage that is rocked by infidelity is shaken at its roots and placed in peril. The work needed to restore trust and intimacy is daunting and for that reason many decide it is easier to divorce and start over. Certainly Hosea had reason to feel that way.
In summary, the text does say there is grounds for divorce but it's not a positive command; it's negative. Still, God gives grace and will not abandon the Christian who fights against a divorce that is thrust upon them.