Blueridge Baptist;
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Tough situation and uncomfortable for sure. I would have really put it to the parents myself (as kindly as possible of course) that if the childs behaviour was not modified they could not play together.
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Kind of difficult to do when your at the dinner table and this happening..
I would have told my daughter to sit either on the other side of the table away from the boy or moved her to sit on the other side of me, placing myself in line with the spitting and hitting child, the parents would have been mortified had the child spit on or hit YOU as an adult..and would have corrected the behavior immediately. (They probably would have said "you don't spit on /hit adults" to where you could gently say, "you shouldn't spit on anyone, whether they are adults or not.")