Maybe I'm way off base here, but I think of the distinction, here, between the prescriptive and the decretive will of God. God commands all men to repent, and is willing for all to be saved in the sense that He does not hinder or prevent anyone from receiving the gospel. However, in His secret, eternal purposes, He has decreed that not all will be saved and that He will give the gift of faith to His elect only. At the same time, the fact that God has decreed that not all will be saved, I don't think that changes the reality that He is grieved at sin and grieved at the eternal destruction and ruin of His creatures.

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Mike Shingler
Pastor: Steep Hollow Baptist Church (SBC)
Bryan, TX